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The Aetius Observation: Say Cheese, Well Dressed King


Ark
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As always, first I want to thank you my readers because humility is my most valued trait.
 
LET ME TELL YOU.
 
HAENSE? BEAUTIFUL. You would think if you had to walk past a few thousand iceciles to get to a place it'd be some shit hole, but no not Haense. They decided to make one of the most colorful(but still tasteful) cities i've ever seen despite being in the literal middle of nowhere. Impressive really, those Barbanov's are tough stock whoever started them should be real proud of themselves. Anyways I get into this super beautiful city in the middle of the freezing wastes and you know what I am greeted with?
 
Hint, it's not alcohol. (At least not yet).
 
For the first time I went to a city, I was offered something else first, cheese. Apparently I just showed up in time for the cheese festival on accident. You see I don't really eat cheese because I'm pickier than a High Elven prince with digestion issues, but I was excited to see all the fanfare anyways. Some little kid came up to me telling me how she could write and was impressed that I was a travelling writer, apparently she writes historical theses or something, whereas I just write these silly missives. I wonder what they are feeding these kids nowadays. Must be the cheese.
 
She can't be that bright though, because she tried to offer me some half nibbled cheese and in one swift motion I managed to throw it over my shoulder before she could tell. So yeah, you might understand history but at least I have eyes. (Might be a bit inappropriate to say, considering half the people I met were missing at least one).
 
I really need to express how beautiful everything in this city was, which brings me to my next point, the only thing that I saw that was not stunning was this lady named Veronica. If the city and its citizens looked like angels from heaven, she was more like an Olog with a venereal disease. (Sorry again to my Olog readers, I promise next missive I will make a Pro Olog metaphor.) Even the king was dressed to the tee, you know you expect kings to look good but this guy was stunning I tell you. Crowds formed around him and it seemed more than just some power grab. Looks like he has a real following and the respect of his people, cumulated in a beautiful quote when the talks of a beauty contest of his shoulders was brought up by some clever elf. (Hint that elf was me.)
 
"We are a kingdom based on strength, not gossip." Man, isn't this guy great? Like the kings of old, I can see why Haense is so lively under his administration. I hope he doesn't kick the bucket any time soon!
 
The only real complaint I have about the king was he saw this goblin, beep or something was her name? Ugly as shit, I swear but he told her she was beautiful, so I'm starting to think everyone in Haense is at least a little blind. Wonder how they built such a beautiful city when they obviously have seeing issues. You know, Caelius if you're reading this, a glasses store in Haense might be a great business.
 
Anyways.
 
Until next time, Aetius signing out.
 
I am STILL looking for an editor, if interested please send me a bird. Ark#0952
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Karl rubbed his chin. "This author was quite a friendly face, even if he did lay on the compliments a little thick. I am sure I am made Saint Karl proud with that welcome."

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The Lady Palatine bobbed her head in approval of the review, though she could not help but laugh at the mention of missing eyes. "We are a people of warriors, after all. I'd imagine he met many eyeless folks on his trip here."

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Tatyana would go to show her mother the paper with a cheerful look on her face.

 

"Mamej! Mamej! Look! He talked about me and my writing!" The girl spoke, not realizing he had called her dumb as she thought he meant another girl. This was simply due to the fact she honestly believed no one would play a cruel trick and LIE to her. As she found lying to be rude as her mother always told her so.

@CopOwl

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