salamanderfantasy

>:--0

-- Sheriff Approved

Sorrel is deeply grateful that there will be fewer rat bites in the future.

Magnolia Fiddleberry tries very hard to read her dad's missive. It's a bit boring to her, but she thinks the boat is cool anyway.

Sheriff Sorrel gets ready to investigate if Alfie is creating a Scooby-Doo situation to get rid of the Shrimp, or if there's an actual cult now.

"Then who's going to sink it Greenholm????? Arugula??"

"Bit rude. It's jus' a boat." Says the Sheriff (completely unrelated to her being one of the few remaining crew members of course). "N' am fairly sure sinkin' it isn't legal."

[!] A second missive is put up onto the board. "Please remember that they do burn heretics to Cannonism in the city, so have some common sense. Especially if you're already in court. Looking at you Eldon."

[!] A new missive onto the message board, in the Sheriff's usual stationary As per the second half of the trial of Alfie Greenholm, the aforementioned is now declared innocent by judge Issak Amador. In both the eyes of the Crown of Haense, and in the personal opinion and post investigation certainty of the Sheriff, Greenholm is now a free wee man. Investigation is to be continued into the human body found in the Greenholm Burrow, and it's potential relation to the rat hordes. New leads have been also found, and are to be investigated in the case that evidence pertaining to the murder can be found. Though we close this page of Alfie's case files, others remain open, and with Knox's will we will soon find an answer. Best of luck to the weefolk. --Sheriff of Honeyhill, Dr Sorrel Rosehipp Mudfoot Mowood Ironbrew Peregrin.

[!] A post on the messageboard, you all know the drill. As the morning rises, the day is safe once more -- blood has been spilled my fellow wee-folk, but with thanks to Knox, not ours. The creatures once tunneling under our feet have been evacuated, but not without the death of all five dwelling there. Though we believed them to be a threat to our lives, us wee-folk at a disadvantage to combat, what happened in those dark, crowed tunnels as we all swung with frantic fear was nothing short of a one-sided blood bath. I find the matter something of a nessecary horror, but one that might have been avoided; had we not rushed in with fear of our lives we might have avoided part of the gruesome affair altogether. I would like to remind ye all that the displaying of severed pieces of anything smart enough to use a shovel is considered somewhat improper. I am asking any of yous still holding onto remains of the gremlins to hand them over, to be buried more properly along with the rest. Though with the knowledge that it were gremlins in the tunnels perhaps providing more insight into the Greenholm Burrow Body case, in the future we must avoid bloodbath to this scale, 'lest we end up as bloodthirsty as the bigguns themselves. On other news in the village, myself and several others have gone about investigating the ancient dungeon known as the rat dungeon, uncovered lying underneath our lands since long before we ourselves settled there. It seems that these rats, known to be supernatural in nature (with the BSK believing them to be Rattiki), have been a plague upon weefolk in these lands before. Some ruins of burrows remain -- scraps of journals indicating plagues of rodents, tortures at the hands of intelligent beasts and the deaths of many. Though these beasties may be more of a threat than the gremlins themselves, we are not prepared to fight these rats in the same manner -- and once more, unlike the gremlins seem content to remain within their dungeon. As such, it is still forbidden for any halfling, bounder, biggun or otherwise to enter without the permission of the Sheriff, Elders or the Thain. We will have to go about this more carefully than clearing out the gremlin tunnels, to avoid more unessecary bloodletting altogether. In other other news, the gremlin tunnels are intended to be made into a warren for our slightly-strange shortarse cousins, the gnomes, and the newly hatched Meringue Madlads are growing up strong to replace the lost Flan Flock. Taylor Woodrun has made no appearance after banishment, but is believed to be well. The Greenholm Burrow Body still remains a mystery, but Alfie Greenholm seems due to a declaration of innocence due to lack of evidence, and more investigating will be done into determining if the murder fell to the hands of gremlins, rattiki, or something else entirely, dwelling somewhere in the village. Best of luck to my fellow weefolk! Sheriff of Honeyhill, Dr Sorrel Rosehipp Mudfoot Mowood Ironbrew Peregrin.

[!] An offical looking document is displayed on the village notice board, penned in a large, easy to read print. OFFICAL AS OF THE 11TH DEEP COLD, YEAR 57 OF THE SECOND AGE. TAYLOR WOODRUN, AGED 29 YEARS OLD, IS TO BE OFFICIALLY BANISHED FOR THE CRIMES OF HARMING A HALFLING CHILD WITH POSSIBLE INTENT TO KILL, PERMANENTLY DISABLING SAID CHILD WITH BLINDNESS IN ONE EYE, LYING AS TO THE THAIN'S WORD, VERBALLY INSULTING THE SHIRE PURSER, THEFT OF ITEMS FROM BURROWS, AND VANDALISM OF THE THAIN'S BURROW. WOODRUN IS BANISHED FOR THE SUM OF ONE YEAR, TO RETURN UPON YEAR 58, AGED 30. DUE TO HIS YOUNG AGE AND AFFLICTED MENTAL STATE, WOODRUN WILL BE PROVIDED WITH FOOD AND SUPPLIES THROUGHOUT THE DURATION OF THIS YEAR, AND UPON RETURN WILL BE KEPT UNDER WARD OF THE THAIN UNTIL ADULTHOOD. IN THE EVENT OF FURTHER INFRACTIONS ONTO SHIRE LAW, THIS BANISHMENT WILL HENCEFORTH BECOME PERMANENT, UNLESS LATER REVOKED. THIS BANISHMENT HAS BEEN DECREED BY HER WEESHIP, THAIN IRIS PEREGRIN OF HONEYHILL WITH THE SUPPORT AND ENFORCEMENT OF SHERIFF DR SORREL R' PEREGRIN

Honeyhill Local Events are like: -Yearly farming! -time to plant taters hehe -Make some cheese with Uncle -Detonate a troll -Fun brewing session followed by pub night -Hehe let's see if we can out drink these humans -the bodies have been rendered to a red paste so fine as such that they can no longer be recognised as what was once two individual people -eat some pastries with meemaw applebottom -scavenger hunt to make knoxmas wreaths :--3 -Hey you know that dungeon we've all been aware of under our town but never talk about whats down there huh -snowman contest :--0 -Some visitors are here! Let's fetch them a drink -THEYRE IN THE WALLS THEYRE IN THE WALLS THEYRE IN THE WALLS THEYREINTHEWALLSTHEYRE -shogging time :--)

With the first body found in Honeyhill declared not to be the missing child, the Sheriff of Honeyhill prays that the second corpse, found in the icebox, will follow in the same.

[!] A notice tacked to the Honeyhill community board Another disastrous attack on our livestock! The Flan Flock (descendents of the revered Custard Clan) have been found massacred and uneaten in their barn! With the entire structure undamaged, Thain Peregin and I believe this unlikely to be a return of the trolls, but with meat left uneated unlikely to be a wild animal or petty thief. As such, we are calling a village meeting this pumpkin day to discuss matters, including investigation and future plans of action. We ask all able halflings attend, however! I am placing out a warrant for the arrest of Head Bounder Alfie Greenholm for questioning, as well as asking Dandelion and any other Greenholms to present themselves for questioning. This is in accordance with the discovery of a biggun corpse on the Greenholm dinning table, and may be involved with a missing person's cases our allies of Haense are investigating. While the focus of our town meeting will be on our own affairs and not those of bigguns, this may be involved with our chicken massacre investigation, so any Greenholms present will be questioned, and any wee folk who have last seen a Greenholm will be questioned. Stay faithfull wee folk! We've been through difficult times before, and together we will do so again! -- Sheriff of Honeyhill, Dr Sorrel Rosehipp Mudfoot Mowood Ironbrew Peregrin.

Highly recommed making a halfling, all of my rp I've done I've not enjoyed as much as halfling rp. Fae's been going above and beyond with the eventlines recently, no time like now to come check some out.

TRICKERY AND JAPES AND TRICKERY AND JAPES AND TRICKEEY AND JAPES AND MISCHIEFS >:--)

Excuse you we cleaned up all the blood ourselves.

Former Abbess Rowan, whereabouts unknown, may now be suddenly remembering Incriminating Evidence left about in the abbey. Oh dear. She also feels bad about the nun pit in hindsight. Ooc: didn't realise ppl were takin over my abbey oops! But bc I'm not online enough to actually run it I'm glad someone else is takin it over as another abbey. Also, dm me if you want details of what actually happened in the abbey :--) And don't drink the tea it's poisoned.

[!] A new message takes the place of the last on the noticeboard. Additionally, all notices of curfew have been torn down in Honeyhill. A message to the all wee folk -- the eviction of our unwanted troll neighbours has been a success. Thanks to all our cooperation in keeping the village safe, the plan has gone through without a hitch, and with not one wee person lost to the trolls. There's still the matters of repairing the damage done, but with our wee folk hard at work to repair the fields even as I write this that should be no issue compared to the trolls themselves. And with some bigguns from the capital offering support should our winter supplies run out (which, with the trolls gone, should be able to hold 'till spring) we've much less worry about food. Hence, the pumpkin rationing is now over -- but with the shortage still be carefull not to waste many. Shogging helmets can still be made into pies after. As well as this, all curfew rules are now over! Thank you for all being cooperative about that (except for those young bigguns who we had to arrest). In other news, a trade deal with some bigguns from Haense has been made -- a measure of honey is to be exported, and we will be receiving mead in return. There's also the matter of the booze debt to one Dorimnur Goldhand, who supplied the explosives used, and hopefully this deal will sort that out. I myself am currently bedridden (stood too close to aforementioned explosives), but after me ribs heal I'll be sorting out a delivery of several barrels of booze to Goldhand's tavern, and with that we'll be sorted with this whole business. However, Filibert has informed me that the old mines by the stream are infested with aggressive rats, after a group of bigguns IGNORED me notice and went into investigate. In me opinion, we don't need to deal with that right now. So I will be emphasising me notice to KEEP OUT for now. Stay well Honeyhill, and try not to be improper or in need of medical care while I'm out on bedrest. -- Sheriff of Honeyhill, Dr Sorrel Rosehipp Mudfoot Mowood Ironbrew Peregrin.

[!] An addendum is pinned beneath all the notices. Young'uns have been Claimed! A reminder that the curfew exists to keep you safe from TROLLS -Sheriff Peregrin

[!] Tacked up on the message board, but not pasted about the village like the last missive, is another announcement from Sheriff Sorrel Peregrin. I am making this announcement on behalf of Thain Iris Peregrin, to be informing the village that a plan of action has been drafted up to deal with the recent troll issue. Further damage has been inflicted over night, with a (thankfully harvested) field trodden up and more attempts to access the barn made. Though we ain't making our move yet, we will not let this go on for any longer than it has to. The plan is as follows: -Secure a large amount of explosives from a trader of sorts. - During the night, a team of halflings thins out the dirt atop of the troll cave - With the help of the Thain's druidry, we keep the roof from falling in until later. - With the sun up shining and the trolls asleep, we rig up the powder, leg it, let it go off, and with luck expose those trolls to the full afternoon sun, whereupon they will turn to stone. However, we still have several aspects to get sorted before we can do this! This includes: -Finding a source of powder - Fitting out Fort Pumpkin to be suitable for us to hold our ground in, should the need rise - Potentially convincing some bigguns to act as meat shields in the event the troll eviction goes wrong - Digging out a number of safety and evacuation tunnels under the village, as many as time affords us With the trolls causing more and more damage overnight, I will be permitting the bounders to make an early morning rounds just as the sun comes up (and not a minute early Alfie!), where they are to report any damages to the Sheriff. All other rules are still in place as follows, as well as a strong encouragement to use your common sense lads. -- Sheriff of Honeyhill, Dr Sorrel Rosehipp Mudfoot Mowood Ironbrew Peregrin.

[!] Notices are slapped up about the village and posted into letterboxes, very clearly written in a hurry. They are also posted on signs by the roads. Trolls have been SPOTTED raiding food storages in the village and wandering the area around Honeyhill. They seem to be holed up in a cave in the hills nearby. As Sheriff, I am enacting an IMMEDIATE CURFEW in the village and on the road. Wee folk are to be cosied up in their burrows BEFORE dark and remain there until first sunlight. IN THE EVENT OF AN EMERGENCY: Wee folk are permitted to CAREFULLY walk across to the neighbouring burrow, directly to the sheriff's office. Note: Running out of booze is NAE an emergency. Bounders are included in this -- we will be discussing a plan of action shortly, so hold off on patrols as of now. Travellers on the road after dark are also not permitted, including biggun travellers. We don't want you going up and down, making noise and waking up the trolls. Come back in the morning! Food is to be stored INDOORS and the animals are to remain INSIDE the barn at all times. The pumpkin storage has already been raided, and WILL NOT BE TOUCHED. Do not try to scare away the trolls if you spot them there. Do not be by the pumpkin cave after dark. Because of the pumpkin breach, we will be entering a pumpkin rationing period. Pumpkins ain't to be used for: Shogging helmets Pumpkin raiding Explosives General smashing Decoration Eating We need keep enough stocked for winter. Don't get greedy with the pies! Any wee folk found to be breaking curfew or otherwise endangering other wee folk will recieve: A stern talking to Repeat offenders will be: Locked in the cell at night Any biggun found breaking curfew or otherwise endangering wee folk will: Be going straight to the cell Mocked relentlessly Potentially have potatos thrown at them (Potatos to be collected and stored afterwards) Be sensible, and keep us safe now! Or I'll be exercising me rights as Sheriff at you. -- Sheriff of Honeyhill, Dr Sorrel Rosehipp Mudfoot Mowood Ironbrew Peregrin.

Maggy Fiddleberry, if she could read, would finally know what was up with that strange person interviewing her about cabbage tossing.

If this letter becomes public, Sorrel R' Peregrin would immediately begin plotting to steal the head and bury it, because she does not approve of head-on-spike based interior design.

[!] A note, hung upon the new noticeboard of the thus unnamed halfling village, from the pen of Sorrel R' Peregrin Hello, to my fellow wee-folk. You may of heard, as of recent, little, from our resident baker Mondy Applefoot. Until recently, she may have been presumed missing in the rush to evacuate Bramblebury. However, I write to tell you that the worst has come to pass. Mondy Applefoot did not escape from Bramblebury, being found dead in her beloved bakery, a burnt cake still remaining in the cold oven. If it is to some relief, I can say with certainty there is little sign of foul play. Having been trained in medicine and having observed several autopsies prior, I can confidently say that Mondy had died of disease, likely sudden in onset, though I cannot determine what form. Her body has been transported to our new home lands and stored carefully some ways north, where the frost clings to the ground year round, and unless her remaining family wishes to claim the body and take over care of it, shall be the first of us entombed into our new graveyard, once it is built This has been a difficult announcement to make, as until now, we believed there to be no casulties of the plagues upon Brandybrook. Truth be told, I have spent many a day unable to tell the news of this to anyone to face, so I ask your forgiveness alerting you in this manner. Among this time of rejoicement, with our settling into our new home and the voices of children once more filling the village, comes the time to once more mourn; mourn the homes and the lives no longer with us. Though they be not here, we will never forget their impact upon us, and as such, I ask us all to remember Mondy as she lived -- a wonderfully bright and kind woman, whom we will dearly miss. -- Sorrel R' Peregrin.