I S S U E T W O
Hello, my dear reader.
The year of 1809 has been quite very boring. However, I have exciting news for you all.
THE DEATH OF THE BASTARD PONTIFF
High Pontiff Owyn III- also known by his legal name, Laurence August Jrent, died this saints year. We do not know how the pillow-biter died, but we do know that he had multiple mistresses, and perhaps a mister here and there… One mistress was gossiped to be an Orcess. Perhaps he likes to be dominated in the bedroom!
He escalated tensions between Haense and the Empire, had multiple whorehouses throughout the countryside, and had multiple bastards, many of whom are well known. Dear reader, I ask you- do not light a candle in his honor, but instead, celebrate. Celebrate that the evil has died.
THE FORMER MAJORDOMO’S HUSBAND
Vespira Angelica d’Emyth, also known as Vespira var Ruthern, the former Majordomo of the Augustine Palace has proved herself to be inept of planning any significant event. The palace has been a ghost town ever since the last debutante, and many of these poor debutante’s events were one to forget. She has done nothing to help our Empire thrive- and one wonders- is this due to her new allegiance to Haense? Additionally, her Husband, Alric Ruthern is a known womanizer- and has had many bastards. It seems he cannot keep it in his pants- perhaps it's also because he does not enjoy Vespira’s presence, as many have noted that she is not that enchanting. I must wonder, would Miss Ruthern cheat on her husband?
NOVELLEN’S ROSE BLOOMS ANEW
The Duchess Helena, ever the keen host, finally provided the peers of the empire with a reprieve from the never ending dull events hosted in the Palace. The Lovers Masquerade, which invited Francesca the Fortunate, a renowned soothsayer among several circles, was a most prosperous ball; with over one-hundred guests in attendance. Additionally, the Duke and Duchess Helena were seen after the ball deep in conversation; sometimes a rare occurrence for the future monarchical pair. It is reported to me by the eyes and ears of the palace that a bout of melancholia has taken over the Duchess, which they believe has been long-coming from years of internal pressures and stresses. Sordid, truly! Hardly eating and rarely sleeping, no wonder concerns amongst the Duchess’s inner circle are amounting. Perhaps it’s because the Duchess’ husband has long shunned his darling wife and done little to ease her ever-amounting anxieties, or due to the fact her womb has yet to quicken with child- though whether such a misstep is a fault of her’s or her husband’s remains to be determined.
FISSTECH AND FILIGREE, or lack thereof.
Aimee de Frand, the disorderly hostess of the Ivy House, was allegedly seen drowning herself in some ‘unknown’ substances with palace officials and high society. The proprietress, noted for her flamboyant disposition and *****-like ways, has been seen slithering through the streets of Providence and attempting to recruit the noble youth to drug-den. It’s no wonder the highest-ranking nobles no longer attend her squalid parties! Between you and I, and pray you believe me, my dear, they’re nothing special. I would write more on Miss de Frand’s unremarkable talents which solely include narcotizing herself and spreading her legs for the misfortunate, but even a gossip such as I know better than to give one as undeserving as her more than a sliver of ink.
THE CREEPY CURATE
And finally, we move onto our last piece of gossip. Ferdinand of Marna was looking at children, rather creepily. The most prominent being Elisabeth Louise Novellen, an imperial princess of Aldersberg, and her dancing Partner, Otto Baruch, son of a Haenseni Duke. After a contested match of arguing, Elisabeth and Otto had to end their dance short.
Signed,
Madame de Potins.