https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VE7czS0FdXM
"I will not give you the freedom that you seek." The brilliance of a perfect voice, to which we would deem to be our goddess, flows through my mind like a raft down a concurrence in a stream. Elegance, but menace as she delicately places her words in my ears. Not out of admiration, not out of punishment, but out of necessity. It is required, because that is the way of life - to be required to do the things you have to do in order to rectify what you did wrong the first time. That is why I still pray. "You will have to earn this freedom, Sa'Quorak. I do not hand out gifts to my children. It leads them astray from the divine plan." Her plan, as my mind would have me interpret her words. You do not hear what she says directly, I think. You hear what she allows you to, or at least what your mind is capable of hearing. I would not dare assume anything of my greater mother. "So, what must I do then?" I ask of her, politely. If I were to beg now, after all this time, I would have learned nothing. Earning my place is as necessary as proving I am worthy. "Abandon pride, Sa'Quorak. Abandon that malcontent with the world as it is, and accept that the divine plan is the only of its kind." I would nod at her if she were in front of me now. She cannot be, for she does not belong in this world. "Accept Karakatua into your heart once more, or forever banish it like those who came here before you."
'Here'. She speaks of the purgatory of the mind. The lifelessness of the dull lingering plane of existence. The reality of it, is we are all waiting to be judged worthy or not of our heavens. Metztli accepts all, where she puts you is up to her, however. I would not be so quick to judge where she would place me, for I have sinned in the holiness of my attitudes. I have sinned with the discrepancies of my actions. Sin is a word I do not use lightly. It is a word that soulfully represents what it means to be a traitor. I attacked upon my own kind, so I do not deserve to be my former kind any longer. This much, I worked out a long time ago.
Now, I am left with but a choice. To return and allow the present Karakatuan Empire, or whatever is left of it in the great darkness that has shrouded this land, to judge upon my soul in the same way Metztli would. I should be sure to allow her plan to unfoil. I should be sure to submit, and desist. I do not wish to fight any longer, I gave up on that many hundreds of moons ago. I am here with the choirs in my head, the strings tying together the inside of the orchestra. I am witnessing what it means to hear the song of life, with the brass scaring you and the woodwind rooting for you. Then, there are the instruments that you do not know - they are not instruments but the voices of the people around you. They affect the music, changing it into something you cannot befit to a nature.
The voices are Metztli, her children, and hopefully myself. If I can count myself among their kind once more, I would truly be of happiness. I would truly be considerate of the truth of my nature.
I could restore pride to my name once more by serving with the utmost loyalty. I have sinned, but I was told to repay a debt in blood, with blood. My own, this time. Not another's.
I am ready for this. I will be that person to change. I will not wait for the world to change for me. I have desisted my arrogance. I have seen the light.