Fiction

[Praetor 1550]

(changed the title because it was ***** as ****)

 

I made a status about this a few days ago. I'm going to write a story about LoTC, it will be based on an unknown continent and will follow a storyline I've invented.

 

Said storyline is;

"The remnants of Oren struggle against the numerically inferior yet technologically superior Mali'aheral Empire."

(With some orcs and dwarves thrown into it, a storyline only speaks about the very rough outline of the story.)

 

I'm adding certain banned technology to the story and inventing a storyline. Here is an excerpt from my story. (That I liked)

 

 

The throne room of Oren was rife with tension. What had once been a magnificent place where only the richest came to socialize now lay in ruin. Broken pillars littered the floor and shattered walls scattered their stony skin across the room. Long ago these shards would have bloodied the soft feet of the noblewomen that came to speak to the queen, if but for a moment.

 

Now they were crushed into dust, to be blown by the wind that slipped through the now vacant window. Crushed by the iron boots of soldiers and knights.

 

All along the wall stoof men armed with pikes and crossbows. Their eyes were deeply sunken into their skull and not one was beardless. Many were covered in grime and looked to tired to stand on their feet. But stand they did, and proudly so.

 

‘You should surrender, Baelish. It would spare you the last of shames.’

 

‘I will not...’ The voice broke. It was old and weary, stretched thin by time. ‘I will not throw the royal crown in front of the feet of a De Bretagne.’

 

De Bretagne stood in front of an old, dark throne. He remembered the days when it had glowed with the inner fire of many jewels. Most of these had probably been taken to finance the cost of war. He did not care, with him at the head of the Empire, they would finally stand a chance against the cursed High Elves with their poisons and technology.

 

‘Very well then.’ He drew his sword from it’s sheath. Blood still crusted the steel blade, the marks of their fierce battle. ‘I will say this, Baelish. Your men fought well and brave. It is a shame that they must die.’ He stepped forward, till but a few feet seperated him from the decrepit old man.

 

Baelish had aged since he had last seen him, that fateful day at the wedding of a count and baroness whose names now escaped him. Where once stood a proud man with flowing black hair and rich beard now sat a man with the eyes one who had seen to much and face of a dead man. It was a shame, a damn shame.

 

‘It could have ended in a better way, Baelish.’

 

‘You know it never would have.’ He coughed and sat up straighter. He glared straight into De Bretagne’s eyes as he drove the blade into the Kings chest. Even in death, that glare stayed focused on him. Damn, he’d need to burn this corpse before he could forget that last look. He hadn’t been the traitor, he had done the right thing.

 

‘Long live the King!’ Shouted one of the men in the hall.

 

‘Long live the King!’ Bellowed the others. De Bretagne turned around and saluted the crowd wearily. All through the city he heard the clash of war fade away, replaced by the cheers of his men. Against the backdrop of a fire lit night, his flag rose upon the cathedral.

The war was over.

 

 

If you would like your character to figure in the story, just fill this in:

 

Character Name:

 

Character Age (approx.):

 

Character Race:

 

Character allegiance (Oren, Dwarves, etc...):

 

Short description of their looks:

 

Short description of their personality:

 

Other:

 

Enjoy, I'll either make a thread and update periodically the story or post it all at once when it is done.

 

 

Ps: If anybody finds their character in the story and doesn't want them included, thinks they're being portrayed wrongly just PM me or post here. I took Baelish and De Bretagne in the excerpt because I remembered Baelish from before and was told De Bretagne was an important family.

[WuHanXianShi14 0]

No offense to your writing but the concept of Haelun'or conquering the Oren Empire makes me crack up everytime I think about it...

[SodaiKamikaze 652]

Character Name:Dared Starbreaker

 

Character Age (approx.): In his 400's, 477 IIRC

 

Character Race: Cavern Dwarf

 

Character allegiance (Oren, Dwarves, etc...): Grand Kingdom of Urguan

 

Short description of their looks: A four foot six inch dwarf, barrel-like in shape and stone grey skin. He has a bright pink scar over his left eye, and light grey-white hair. He has olive green eyes and is usually in light-weight armor that he created himself.

 

Short description of their personality: Mildly xenophobic, he has distrust of strangers, though isn't one to hold a grudge for a situation that has been resolved. When ticked off, he will immediately go out to fix that problem, leading to conflicts with others. He loves a good laugh here and then, though can be serious when needed to.

 

Other: Lord of Urguan. Master blacksmith. Golemancer. Runesmith. Grey.

[Praetor 1550]

No offense to your writing but the concept of Haelun'or conquering the Oren Empire makes me crack up everytime I think about it...

 

They didn't conquer it, there's more to the story than the excerpt. Even if they had though, it's fiction not the server.

[Crayfishchris 751]

Wheeee... two characters, because why not

 

Character Name: Yulnii Elibar'acal

 

Character Age (approx.): 51

 

Character Race: High Elf

 

Character allegiance (Oren, Dwarves, etc...): Haelun'or

 

Short description of their looks: http://imgur.com/a/joi68#0 <--- The images in there. She is very thin (surprisingly so), deep blue eyes, blonde hair, a constant smirk on her face.

 

Short description of their personality: A snarky, sarcastic individual who always seems like she is playing some sort of long joke. She is quick to befriend and quick to anger, and holds any slight against her family to be one against her.

 

Other: Yulnii is one of the more powerful users of Fi'hiiran'tanya, the anti-magic. It can be seen as a blue mist when she conjures it up, and can negate most magic (the exception is necromancy).

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Character Name: Kristian von Craw

 

Character Age (approx.): 50 

 

Character Race: Human

 

Character allegiance (Oren, Dwarves, etc...): Sellsword (most likely Oren)

 

Short description of their looks: http://imgur.com/a/pyIYK#0 <--- Once again, pictures in that album. A soldier with gray hair, gray eyes, a hooked nose, and a sickly pink birthmark that stretches over half his body. He's not very pleasing to look at.

 

Short description of their personality: Brash, to the point, and honorbound. He values caution above most things, seeking to wait until losses to himself would be the least. 

 

Other: Kristian fights with a morningstar (spiked mace). He has four children, 2 boys and 2 girls. The elder girl and two boys are of his blood, and bear the same birthmark he does, just not as severe (It is on their hands and feet). The children with the birthmark are grown up. In his past, Kristian fought for House Valois.

[Leetles 65]

Character Name: Brelyna Elibar'acal

 

Character Age (approx.): 30

 

Character Race: High Elf

 

Character allegiance (Oren, Dwarves, etc...): Elves, of Haelun'or.

 

Short description of their looks: 

 

Short description of their personality: Pretty nice to other high elves, polite, and isnt rude. Racist to all other races.

 

Other:

[Lym 849]

Character Name:
Issboner
Character Age (approx.):
17
Character Race:
Human
Character allegiance (Oren, Dwarves, etc...):
Belgium
Short description of their looks:
Relatively buff and tall dude with highly visible muscles. Is bald and usually looks like a hobo while sipping tea whilst reading stuff.
Short description of their personality:
Issboner is very insecure, paranoid and actually completely insane. He's a bookworm and adores any kind of fiction.
Other:

 

Best idea you've had thus far, lad.

[Praetor 1550]

Character Name:

Issboner

Character Age (approx.):

17

Character Race:

Human

Character allegiance (Oren, Dwarves, etc...):

Belgium

Short description of their looks:

Relatively buff and tall dude with highly visible muscles. Is bald and usually looks like a hobo while sipping tea whilst reading stuff.

Short description of their personality:

Issboner is very insecure, paranoid and actually completely insane. He's a bookworm and adores any kind of fiction.

Other:

 

Best idea you've had thus far, lad.

 

 

Such harrassement :(

[Samson Option 9652]

Character Name:

Issboner

Character Age (approx.):

17

Character Race:

Human

Character allegiance (Oren, Dwarves, etc...):

Belgium

Short description of their looks:

Relatively buff and tall dude with highly visible muscles. Is bald and usually looks like a hobo while sipping tea whilst reading stuff.

Short description of their personality:

Issboner is very insecure, paranoid and actually completely insane. He's a bookworm and adores any kind of fiction.

Other:

 

Best idea you've had thus far, lad.

Innuendo, now I get to have fun reveling in a german name of a group now!

[Heff 2460]

Character Name: Fumble Willowbottom

 

Character Age (approx.): 35

 

Character Race: Halfling

 

Character allegiance (Oren, Dwarves, etc...): Ivybend

 

Short description of their looks: A very short and pudgy halfling, he has a muffin top belly and messy orange mop-hair. He has purple and grey eyes as well as pale skin, like all Willowbottoms.

 

Short description of their personality: A jerk to strangers, until they soften him up with a few jokes or tickles. Then he treats them like best friends. He usually expresses his anger with jumbled swearing or sticking up his middle finger.

[_pok_ 1768]

I really like the story and I think it is a unique idea that if well written could be a very good read.

 

My advice though is to remove the application to make characters and void the above applications. You shouldn't force yourself to include certain characters because it can jeopardize your writing when you go back and realize 'Oh I forgot to put this guy in, I better do that!'

If you do want to go with this application process though you ought to only pick and choose characters that will actually fit into the story rather than including every single one. That is my advice to you and I hope you consider it. Otherwise I really like the idea and if you need somebody to proofread or whatever just let me know I can try and help and I'm sure many others would be willing. 

[Mithradites 1168]

(Bloody good idea to change that title, eh, Spamshock? :P I'll give this a throw.)

 

Name: Lucion Sullas

 

Age: Currently 200-ish

 

Race: High Elf

 

Character Allegiance: Haelun'or.

 

Short Physical Description: (I presume you want a current description rather than a fictionalised one for the story) Lucion stands around 6'6" with a thin, gaunt appearance. He has silvery hair and green eyes, while his face is pallid and set in a near permanent scowl.

 

Short Personality Description: Lucion Sullas is the stuffy cultural leader (Maheral) of Haelun'or. A loyalist, moderate, radical of the maehr'sae hiylun'ehya, lay philosopher, prominent scientist, sorcerer, and a self-taught surgeon, he has a wide range of skills that he offers to his people for those willing to learn. Excessively polite, excessively passive, and excessively logical, Lucion is a gem of Haelun'or ethics and values. And he is very aware of it. Despite being utterly loyal to his city, and people, he has no desire or interest in violent conflict, and will avoid it when possible.

[Praetor 1550]

I really like the story and I think it is a unique idea that if well written could be a very good read.

 

My advice though is to remove the application to make characters and void the above applications. You shouldn't force yourself to include certain characters because it can jeopardize your writing when you go back and realize 'Oh I forgot to put this guy in, I better do that!'

If you do want to go with this application process though you ought to only pick and choose characters that will actually fit into the story rather than including every single one. That is my advice to you and I hope you consider it. Otherwise I really like the idea and if you need somebody to proofread or whatever just let me know I can try and help and I'm sure many others would be willing. 

 

Worry not, I'm not including everybody as it is. ;) Just taking everybody in for consideration and when I see someplace where I could replace an invented character by somebodies already existing char I do it! Though they'll sometimes get modified and played around with a bit.

 

I might just take you up on your offer, I often make small mistakes with apostrophes (whatever you call them in english) and all that.

 

Thanks for the feedback!

[Demotheus 651]

Character Name:

 

Character Age (approx.):

 

Character Race:

 

Character allegiance (Oren, Dwarves, etc...):

 

Short description of their looks:

 

Short description of their personality:

 

Other: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/topic/109338-lotha-the-impish/?hl=lotha

[Lvke 1000]

Morris

Character Name: Morris, sometimes addressed as Mountain.

 

Character Age (approx.): Almost 40

 

Character Race: Human.

 

Character allegiance (Oren, Dwarves, etc...): Orenian Rhoswenion, Marked and extreme loyalist.

 

Short description of their looks: A large, brutish man, almost 6'6", with brutish features; an overly strong jaw and overbite, crooked, yellowed teeth, with thick auburn mutton chops Wolverine would be proud of that makes his jaw appear even thicker and more pronounced. He has a long nose, that is crooked and bent from being broken many times, pale face, large, bushy auburn eyebrows, with a heavy brow, almost neanderthalish. His head is shaved, due to him being primarily bald. The only striking feature would be his eyes, a pale, stoic blue. Otherwise, he is built like a brick outhouse, extremely broad and thick, all muscle. Wears a stout leather brigandine with quilting over a mail hauberk, with a leather jerkin and linen shirt below. He wears good leather gloves, with iron plates, some sewed and some riveted, over his hands, and up his forearms. Wears a bevor, and sometimes a sallet of a German design. Thick leather pants, armoured boots and greaves complete his relatively light-weight yet strong armour. He normally has two greatswords in sheaths on his back, one longer and made of plain steel, with a simple leather and steel hilt, the greatsword next to it shorter and ornate, made from gold. A longsword, plain yet finely made, hangs at his left hip, an axe of silver that is bearded at his right, along with a dirk.

 

Short description of their personality: Although rude, obnoxious and seemingly rather stupid and lacking in social graces or charm, he is surprisingly loyal for an ex-merc., without a doubt willing to die for friends and king. Although seemingly stupid, and lacking any real education, Morris is possessing of an animal cunning, and though not an imaginative thinker, rather able to make smart decisions at times when he cannot be ordered by a smarter ally or friend.

 

Other: Although a rather large and strong man, due in part to his Marked training and his savagery when he, kingdom or friend is threatened, plus natural ability in large doses, he is far faster and more graceful than he should be, able to move around and sprint like a man half his size, even with his greatsword, which he can wield one-handed, if need be.

 

Sinyail

Character Name: Sinyail Maehr, also known as the Silver Serpent.

 

Character Age (approx.): 134ish.

 

Character Race: Mali'aheral.

 

Character allegiance (Oren, Dwarves, etc...): Haelun'or.

 

Short description of their looks: You may know this, if not, hit me up on Skype.

 

Short description of their personality: See above.

 

Other: : )