The Rex's Missive [1769]

[Boomzerang 515]

THE REX’S MISSIVE

YEAR OF 1769

 

---

ON WAR
The tides of war have come to our lands, and in their wake left us in ruin. Our past Rex surrendered to the dwarven nation, leaving us with little money in our coffers, and still less morale in our hearts.

    It was in surrendering this war that we lost yet another past Rex, Skalpboila’Raguk. And with his dying action, he rekindled the flames of war in the Dwarves’ hearts, taking with him the arm of the Dwarven king.

    Many days and many nights have passed since then, and it has only been in these past cactus days that I have met the Dwarves in parley and have found acceptable terms for our folk to return to the peace that we once knew. The war has ended, at a price.

    The Dwarves will be creating an embassy in Krugmar in the coming cactus weeks, as per one of our terms.

 

ON BOOMSTEEL

As per the terms agreed upon, there is to be a full cessation of boomsteel production in the Warnation of Krugmar. It has demonstrably brought little more than woe to our nation, and the greed for it has cost us the lives of many brothers and sisters alike.

    Let it be known that any uruk discovered to be importing, working, or exporting boomsteel in Krugmar will be punished under punishment of pugging, painting, and disarmament.

 

ON THE CODES

For too long, brothers and sisters have been ignorant of, or perhaps even disregarding the Codes of Krug.
    From the posting of this missive, these Codes will be upheld and backed by punishment, for without discipline nor honour, we are no different from the animals that we slaughter for food.

    Never again shall the Rex turn a blind eye on the transgressions of Uruks, nor will he rule with a biased hand. Any found to be acting dishonorably must be reprimanded for insulting the very blood of Krug that courses in their veins.

 

ON NARCOTICS

The embargo on drugs and narcotics is lifted. They may once more be freely traded, in the best interests of the nation’s spiritualists.

 

---

 

GLOZAG VOTAR - FOR THE HUNT

 

[!] ATTACHED TO THE MISSIVE IS A SMALL COPY OF THE CODES OF KRUG

[CornPhlake 162]

”Wub? Blahz nubdin’ abowt legalizin’ zhroomiez in diz. Wen will da Rex blah wiff da wargoffz abowt diz?” Vrig’Shrogo says upon recieving the missive, before also saying, ”Nub rezponze on bannin’ wurzhip ub Aztran either.”

[ninjaclimb1 432]

“praize laklul.” kolaz’lak said upon reading the post.

[TheNanMan2000 473]

”Boomzteel wuz ah koward’z weapun anyway.. But mi nub gruk’d narkoticz wuz banned..” said Murak as he read the missive, glad no one else would fall victim to death outside of an honourable fight.

[Elite Snipes 3563]

Wargoth Korgahk’Gorkil smiled reading over the missive “Hozh. Krugmar iz bakk on its way tu Glori, agh bein Honorable again.” he would finish reading the letter before going back to support the Rex.

 

[Vilebranch 410]

Skorkon'Gorkil shakes his head, a gob of spit flying from his mouth and into the sands. "Diz iz a bunzch ob bull. Nevur would mi gruk dat mi'd peep a tik when Urukz bow tu trecheruz Gazat. It wuz nub enouf dat we am forzed tu forget da legazi ob azh ob da hozhezt Rex'z tu evur liv, but now we muzt throw awey owur metuhlz agh welkom ztoutz intu owur Goi! Nub'hozh!" The orc crumples up the missive and barks out a curse. "Zo muzch for da digniti ob our raze.."

[6xdestroyer 1610]

Orgoth claps that the Rex is once again bringing back the missive tradition!

[prolo04 31]

"Eyyyy letz git beeg aggen, rulg Rex Akrukil!" He salutes his Rex.

[Dragonslayerelf 654]

“Hrmm... Az much az mi rezpektz Akrukil, gibbihn’ ihntu dah zowt’z demandz agh dehn blahin’ lat ‘dah wun arm’d’ wehn lat did’nub luuz dat ihn klompz ur ihn votar zeemz... huw du mi pud id. Id ziimz tu bi kontinyooin’, ihn pard, dah humie rejime dat Noka agh Zkalp pud forf. Ah Rekz ub mi’z dey wuld klomp tu dah flat inzted’a lozin’ deyur arm willihnli, bud Akrukil iz ah chaynj ihn dah riyt diyrekzhun.” the old Shakul would say, chewing on the butt of a cactus green cigar and shaking his head as he reminisced and spoke of the new generation, prepared to back his word up with his metallic fist if he were challenged on it.