Halflings' Eternal Victory over t'a Bigguns

[NotEvilAtAll 10906]

[!] A halfling propaganda newspaper finds its way into your mailbox

VICTORY!

Upon this fine Drinking Night, in the glorious lands of Bramblebury where all the weefolks live in peace and comfort, a foul force was descending upon the village...

 

It was the BIGGUNS, the ungrateful tall folks who dunnae have any respect for our culture and traditions! Into our Drinking Nights came one of these bigguns, no doubt the same sort of fellow who'd peep into our burrows and nick all of our belongings!  He began to talk trash of our customs, blaming the recent thefts on our culture rather than the foul thieves who stoop so low as to steal from those whose only wish is to live free! Our glorious harvests have seen many a grain go missing, no doubt as a result from these thieves, and to hear of bigguns blame what makes our village great for what ails us is a heinous crime us weefolks cannae forgive!

 

This fraudulent pirate, who claims to own a ship that can sail the skies, so distanced from reality as to not understand basic customs outside his biggun homeland, attacked poor ol' King Cyris, hurling him into the corner! After seeing their fellow villager attacked, all of us weefolks came to arms against this threat to our safety! Food was thrown, shovels sent into kneecaps, and many tackles ran head first into this threat!

 

Alas, we succeeded in our efforts! The biggun was forced to retreat from the tavern, ending his Drinking Night fun, while us halflings made off with his hat! King Cyris, the poor ol' halfling o' so horribly assaulted by this dark and devilish biggun, now wears it proudly upon his head as a token of eternal victory against those who disturb the peace in our village! Long Live Bramblebury! May we always triumph over the forces of darkness with our smiles, booze, and shovels!

 

~Halflings pelt the bad biggun with food!~

 

~King Cyris wearing the biggun's hat as a sign of victory!~

 

May the village of Bramblebury Eternally Prosper!

May the village of Bramblebury know Everlasting Peace!

May the halfling peoples never yield to Bad Bigguns!

May the whole of Almaris know of our Delectable Cakes!

 

Long Live Bramblebury!

 

-Filibert Applefoot,

local halfling bartender & propagandist.

 

((thanks for the fun CRP @CalZium. it was very engaging and everybody loved it.))

[HalflingPrincess 411]

Greta eyes the document suspiciously "Right, well I suppose this all right and just and there's no harm done here... but this drawing here does feel a tad... wrong. I love Iris and all but she's no goddess." Greta's eyes move down to the signature at the bottom. She snorts at that.  "Filibert Applefoot; I might have known. Only a dictator-loving Bernadist would publish jingoistic drivel like this." She tucks it away in a drawer "Maybe someone ought to remind the Applefoots we're living in the 19th century now."

[Notic 953]

“Someun’ troie’ tew hurt Cyris?” Monkey said as he gazed over the piece, “Every day it gets har’er tew loike bigguns.”

[NightOfTheWind 3226]

Gazing over the small village from above, a single silhouette stood overhead- maintaining his balance upon a thick branch- his figure hidden beneath the leaves. A silent gaze offered itself upon the halflings, roaming happily as they assumed their everyday tasks. A trembling hand slowly made its way to his ginger locks, quietly brushing over his hair as his mind occupied nothing but the thought of his missing hat. 
Hatless.
Prideless.

"You have incurred the wrath of the mighty Dael." He grumbled. "I'll be back, cretins."

[TakeMeT0TheFae 970]

Iris chuckles as she reads over the notice, shaking her head as a warm smile rests on her features before she tucks the paper into her desk.