A Crowded Mind

[Liv 485]

A Crowded Mind

Art was very epically done by - Basil The Bunny

 

[!] Within a room sits a woman, her skin blue with eyes which shine a brighten pink she glows in a faint shade of a deepen aqua which hues out of her neatly put together formalwear, worn to look at as time has passed for this ageing glowing elven woman, sits and writes. Her hand scribbling away, she contorts her gaze scrambling up the paper throwing it behind. A sigh escapes as she slows herself, peering out a window to the outside. A smile brightens as a smug gaze falls on her. The freehand of this woman extends as she looks to it, slowly the hand glows more potent then the rest as a collection of sand formulates upon hand, no words break as she does. For a moment she stares but moments pass and her hand clenches making this sand vanish as she returns to writing.

 

Have you’ve ever looked upwards at the Sky? Ever wondered what’s beyond the mortal realm and things which is out of reach within the veil? Things which enter into the realm of the unknown, the realm hated by some and adored by others. The realm between worlds this place which is and which isn’t a place. Land of all but null. From this very idea became the saying and a popular one at that for what is the void, ‘It is all but nothing at the same time. But when you gaze upwards to the sky and see the shining lights which make it, the glitter of things which are out of your mortal grasp unable to hold but see. A dream is presented. A question is given, What if? Yet this question so simple and broad but allows others to understand the very nature of things, to question is to become powerful and to hold power is to question. Why? Why is it this world we live in is a simple collection of minds which hold ideas which are that of what’s and who’s or why’s and how’s? But after this idea is within mind how do we stop this from becoming what is, what am I if not this? What am I if not a questioner seeking that of a question? As I write these thoughts on that of a simple empty unknown of what is known but also not. Question fly from the mind as it races around asking and knowing what I asked but asking again to dwell deeper upon the subject. Can we become clenched of thirst if we’re forced to drink to maintain our own pointless lives? Our life is as long as our parent’s ones. Mine extending that of three centuries and only now have I sat down to write such …. Such dribble upon pages of a drooling ageing fool which has come to understand but never fully shared.

 

I have looked up at the night’s sky and smiled for I know what it is that I am looking at. I know it’s a greater place of power and creation. A place of untold and unseen wonders which I dabble in. A place I wish to go once more. Willingly allow oneself to simply embrace and finally and truly understand where creatures I once fought and brought fear to the realm is from. I wish to see this once again and finally understand why. But what is this why? For this, I hold no words to share but it drives deep within my mind the idea of wanting to know, but to know what. I have to answer why am I. Why do I run? Why do I refuse to connect to the emotions of all? Why do I allow myself to weaken to understand the very fabrics of mana within all things? To tinker with the world and to use only but a humble thought to create wonders which bring smiles to faces, but to me, to I, it brings none. I hold many things and can share many more. But meaningless this is without the ability to truly care. But for what? Wars to take those you care for and powers to destroy those you lost. To grow distant and unknown to become the very thing you hate. To grow old and grumpy. To finally understand the difficulties of age. To see many lives grow old and die, but I, I am forced to watch all things come to an end, the great feats of which is mine, never truly remembered for who cares for the scribbles of an old, angry woman which has become revolved around the thing she sought for so long.

 

The ability to know

 

Spoiler

Just a little bit of IRP gibberish as my character I play has become colder and needing a way to express. Holding fear of what she knows kinda defines the character rather then what personality. Scared of what she has become and question things in general. Bit of a mess as she really become loss.

 

Don't meta this post : ) just fun post for rep. Please give me rep