SHE WHO HOLDS THE SHOVEL

[Notic 953]

[!] Papers fly all across Honeyhill as THAIN LILY PEREGRIN responded to the threats of the insolent rebel, Mimosa Applefoot.

SHE WHO HOLDS THE SHOVEL

 

Dearest Halflings of Honeyhill,

We find ourselves faced with a challenge. The Elder Mimosa Applefoot, whom I once trusted as a voice of reason, takes issue with my position of command. She ignores the fact that I was given my position through the fair passage of Thainship by my sister, Sorrel Peregrin, who was given such power by our mother, Iris the Great. Furthermore, she ignores the fact that I have sworn by my life to uphold the values of Thain Iris and have given birth to a new village in the ruins of our old, fallen Honeyhill. Mimosa is merely driven by envy and nostalgia. She longs for the days when the Applefoots ruled under Thain Rollo and were seen as the prominent power in the halfling lands.

I shall not falter in the presence of Mimosa the Betrayer or her clan of sour apples. I shall grow fields and raise a great mercantile district along the coast. I shall propel the weefolk into a golden age of trade and prosperity. Every tavern from here to the rings of biggun nobles in the Kharasi will be drinking halfling ale and eating halfling pastries. We shall sit upon a harvest bounty richer than we have ever reaped from the earth. Most importantly, we shall not watch as the once great Applefoots taint the power of the Peregrins with their lies and deceit.

The Peregrins walked this dirt before the Applefoots were a concept within the gardens of Billy Bob, and we shall continue to rule until Arugula rises from the sea and swallows the world whole. We proved our worth when Thain Iris the Great spun the evil workings of Isalie the Terrible into a paradise never before seen by the halflings. We are the lineage chosen by Knox to lead. The Applefoots, on the other hand, are a cursed bloodline that has plagued our race with murder and travesty. From the massacre of Rollina to the cultist workings documented by my brother, Monkey, they have caused nothing but trouble.

Do not let some bad apples spoil the bunch! Side with Thain Lily Peregrin and we shall rise up against the confederates!

 

-Thain Lily Peregrin, Protector of Honeyhill

[ThatDutchFellow 1147]

There stood Hob, in his camp deep within the realm having laid camp against the Beasts making stead way for Honeyhil. When soon one of his fellow hunters informed him of the sittuation back home. "Oi loikeh Mimosah, bu' loike dem been ter meh oi'l beh loyal ter 'ouse Peregrin."

[salamanderfantasy 1341]

"Thi' 'ere is why am glad Oi retired." Sorrel Peregrin grumbles as she pops open a bottle of whiskey, and prepares to watch the fallout.

[Latelle 721]

"Well, I'll be...gods bless ye, lass," Anne thinks, reading the papers that somehow made their way to...wherever in the world Anne was. Despite her absence in the village, she still would be rooting for her old friend from the sidelines, even if said friend had just tarnished the good name of Anne's family.

[salamanderfantasy 1341]

"Wait a fucken minute Oi was thain for like ten years an Oi never got th' shovel where t' fock was it." Sorrel suddenly remembers her own thainship. "Thought we lost it whot?"

[HalflingPrincess 411]

Julie, who despite living far away and trying not to give a **** about halfling politics, can't help but shake her head as she reads the pamphlet.  "T'is'd be a whole lo' simpler ef t'ey still 'ad elections. Oi'd imagine Lily'd win wifout a real contes', an t'en ef Mimosa still troid ter coup she coul' accuse 'er ef being a troublemaker wifout sounding loike a roigh' mad lass and showing every'un 'ow bad at 'istory she es."