On Númendil's Feasts

[Laeonathan 4003]

[!] The following missive can be found in Númenost the Fair; capital of Númendil.

 

[!] A Painting of Ser Alwyn staring at one of his guests in disappointment.

 

The Númenedain and Feasting

Proper Behavior at Feasts

[music]

 

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OVERVIEW

The Númenedain (singular: Númenedan) are the people of Númendil; they are a proud people of knightly traditions. If you are invited to one of these steadfast families or individuals, you should respect their culture and traditions, especially when your visit is for a feast.

 

 

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I. How to Dine

 

1. Thou shalt wash thy hands before thou enters.

 

2. Thou shalt not dine with a fork; for they are a wicked elven invention and against the laws of Númenost the Fair. Thou shalt dine using the spoon and knife.

 

3. If thou are Oyashiman attendée thou may use chopsticks of thy own bringing.

 

4. Thou shalt use thy right hand to dine. Thou may use the left hand only to cut with thy knife.

 

5. Thou shalt not pass food from thy table to that of thy neighbor.

 

6. Thou shalt not put down thy knife while eating.

 

II. Proper Behaviour while dining

 

1. Thou shalt not be seated closer than two of thy elbow’s lengths to thy neighbor.

 

2. Thou shalt not put thy elbows on the table.

 

3. Thou shalt not speak too much, nor shalt thou speak too loudly.

 

4. Thou shalt not burp.

 

5. Thou shalt not fart.

 

6. Thou shalt not vomit.

 

7. Thou shalt not take shy shoes off.

 

8. Thou shalt not sing unless thou are the bard.

 

9. Thou shalt not laugh inappropriately.

 

10. Thou may leave the table, but thou shalt wash thy hands once more once thou hast returned.

 

 

III. Violation

 

If one is found violating these rules, the person in question shall be thrown out of the room without question. After one has retreated to the church, spoken one's prayers and cleansed themselves of their foul deeds, they may return to the table, if the host agrees.

 

 

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SIGNED;

The Lord of Manners, Master of the Feasts and Host of Parties

[AstriaS 3719]

"What?" queried Princess Caraneth.

[Notic 941]

"Good to see proper rulings for etiquette. We must uphold the standards of our great city," Thorondir commented while mid-combat with a giant bear.

[UnusualBrit 2064]

"I don't think I can do this." A dwarf sweats.

[Ireneically 249]

The Princess blinked at this... she will be continuing to use her left  hand.

[Orphvius 434]

A witch eats with her terrible and mighty fork, skewing her veggies with trident-like prowess and proffering the vile thing to her devil of a child..