milksoda 2892 Popular Post Share Posted August 31, 2024 THE KOYO-KUNI SEA-MONKEY ADOPTION DRIVE Issued and Confirmed as of 1017 Kamijikan, Year of the Butajin PER A RECENT INCIDENTS, The Land of the Scattered Sun remains over-inundated with excess sea-monkeys wrought by the Grub-Club’s ruptured water main. There are BILLIONS of sea-monkeys currently kept sustained by government provisions, and the food supply of Saki-Gaki is rapidly dwindling. This great economic burden leaves the government with two options: Obliteration or Relocation. Given that OBLITERATION would foster only Dark Kani, it has been judged that RELOCATION would maintain the Way of Heaven. However, with great consideration, the Shugonate shall NOT carelessly displace the Sea-Monkeys into the neighboring waterfronts, lest they levy great damage as an invasive species. It is thus that the Shugo announces the Koyo-Kuni Sea-Monkey Adoption Drive, whereby Gaijin and fellow Shimin may adopt one of these many forlorn creatures for a modest sum of 50 MON. If one would hesitate at the price, one need only consider that the Sky-Temple Monks charge 200 MON for a single egg! Further, with great benevolence, the Shugo Ojou-Sama offers a BUY TWO - GET ONE FREE policy. All sea-monkeys must go! To adopt one of these creatures, please visit the Flower-Capital of Sakuragakure and confer with the Miko Manami-Shibuya, Yasu-Tori Danzen or Shugo Atsuko. In the event Sea-Monkeys are not adopted in a timely fashion, it has been agreed upon that they would offer their lives in the service of Koyo-Kuni as the next Grub-Club promotional meal. Further, none may make a complaint for the color of the Sea-Monkey, for they come in but a single color - Sakura - which reflects the spirit of the nation. No refunds. 30 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HugoAntero 1968 Share Posted August 31, 2024 "GRUBBA GRUBBA GRUB-GRUB!" Botsugo's mouth frothed over mudkip soup. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AntiSociety 710 Share Posted August 31, 2024 Aratakrast looked at the missive, crumbling it within his skeletal claws. "DRATS!.. I was so close, to their utter destruction.. Those sea monkeys failed me for the LAST time." Aratakrast turned to a large vat of water, FILLED with sea monkeys. "NO LONGER!" He curled a skeletal fist at them in anger. 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fishy 2710 Share Posted August 31, 2024 Chudaku has found a new calling in life... Bringing the joy of Sea Monkies to the people of Braevos. 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mothsthetic 2250 Share Posted August 31, 2024 The Queen of Petra turns to her husband to be. "Darling. Darling. I want one. Please." @Hom 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mayios 542 Share Posted August 31, 2024 Shibuya, the leader of the Koyo Kuni SPCA, looked to her co leader, Shugo Atsuko, as she held a large bucket with an axolotl in it! "Shugo .. people LOVE THE PINK FISHIES!!" she did a little spin as she held the bucket, the poor axolotl looked TERRIFIED 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cryptic 554 Share Posted August 31, 2024 Ser Alteon Gwynadar sprinted to Koyo-Kuni with 50 minaes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bumblefina 2766 Share Posted August 31, 2024 Clover ran through the Lemon Hill monastery to the High Fleeper, waving the flyer around. "CAN WE GET SOME? PLEASE, PLEASE? PLEASE?" she hollered excitedly. @Fleeperpriest 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fleeperpriest 1484 Share Posted August 31, 2024 4 hours ago, bumblefina said: Clover ran through the Lemon Hill monastery to the High Fleeper, waving the flyer around. "CAN WE GET SOME? PLEASE, PLEASE? PLEASE?" she hollered excitedly. @Fleeperpriest The ??? looked up from the graphs he had been consulting. He contemplated the request dully, calculating the potential offset that the adoption of 60 gorillion seamonkies could have on their negative moral-balance following the collapse of the Mandate of Heaven. He looked @ her eyes and spoke "millions must relocate" handing her then a blank cheque with the seal of Aaun's royal treasury. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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