A (mb temporary) Farewell

[Periphonics 557]

 

Dear Lotc,

I have been writing and rewriting this post for months now. Clinging to maybe coming back to lotc, but frankly my love for the server is gone, and it’s time to let dead dogs lie.
I’ve spent the majority of more than three years here, short compared to some and long to others, and in that time i’ve genuinely had such a fun experience. Fal’leon, the persona most know me on, is a huge part of my life and is a character I hold dear.
But im so tired. I’m tired of the bullshit, the drama, the ooc crap. I’m tired of my rp being stopped bc a greentag decided they felt like sending yet another catastrophic event to wherever I am, i’m tired of some demon walking in and fireballing the area, i’m tired of certain communities warring every other nation 24/7. It’s tiring. I miss my rp being about characters, about a story involving them. I miss when I didnt have any ooc feelings and it felt like I was experiencing things through the eyes of the characters and not as me playing them. I miss finding rp fun.
I do understand that a lot of these factors dont even always affect me, but honestly that’s been part of the issue, everything has just been irritating me even if it isn’t directly impacting my rp. Which was what became my biggest indicator that it’s time.
And i can already hear the comments about the fact I really dont need to be making a post on this, and i know for sure there’s people who will be thrilled at this news! But i think its important to have it out in the world why people leave lotc, who they cared for, and also I just love to be dramatic.

The druid community is and will always be my favourite. I’ve called yall home for years now and I’ve enjoyed it all really.
I always wanted Fal’leon to be more, frankly i’d wanted for a time to be an archdruid or a hierophant. I told myself i wouldnt quit until then. But here I am. It does make me really sad to know he’ll never be something to remember, he wont be mentioned by other druids down the line for his accomplishments. But i’m coming to terms with that, because I know I can now make him truly my own, with my own story for him, one where to do something of significance. I won't have to spent 7 hours of my irl time hoping for the chance.
I hope you’ve enjoyed playing with me as much as I have with you guys, druidism on lotc is literally the thing i stayed for all these years. The community is so creative and talented, the characters are all oddballs and it’s pretty impossible to not fall in love with it. Especially all your lore delmo, i know i’ve been an ass to you on occasion but truly you’re an incredibly creative mind and im sorry for those instances, ive never intended to discredit things. I’ve just been bitter these last few months, and i do hope that can be forgiven. Beyond that, the ability to teach as a druid has been so enjoyable, i love doing it and i will stand by that even now, learning and teaching this magic, integrating as deeply as I can within the community, has been my favourite.

Reviving the kha is probably the pride of what i’ve done lotc, and just as things start picking up obviously i lose my love, bc that’d just make sense.
But that’s made me tired too. The more people there are, the more the thing i worked hard for is becoming unrecognizable. I know that’s how this works, I know that’s the way lotc functions, but I think i’m learning I prefer my stories, my creations, to be mine. To follow my rules, my plans, and not be swayed by others. And that just doesn’t quite happen on a server like this. So, to all the people in the kha community who enjoyed my company, I’m sorry. And thank you for taking interest, it’s so lovely to see people passionate about such a fun culture, and I hope y’all use my lore wisely and with enjoyment.

Now for specifics! Because i love a lot of people on here and i want to tell them i love them, and i’m sorry if you dont get a personal message, im mostly just mentioning the people who’ve had significant impacts over 2+ years

Amethyst, we haven’t talked much this last year but you mean so much to me. I hope you’re well, and I’m sorry we stopped talking. Fal, Ren and Ame continue to be one of my all time favourite trios and I am so going to make more art of them. I miss you

Kitsune, you’ve basically given my reason to be on lotc. I still remember the day we met on lotc so clearly. Qard made it so i couldnt get into the MG for like an irl hour, and when I did i walked to the library of the old grove to see what druidic guides were open. You happened to be online, fal and dami sat down and i got interviewed. I had no idea you’d wind up being one of my favourite ppl on here, nor could i have predicted the genuinely incredible story those two have had together, and im loving continuing that

Hobbit, speaking of my first time in MG, that was bc of you! And you are my longest standing friend from lotc, i hope that’ll continue bc youre such a fun person to talk to and god do i enjoy our rants. The characters you play are always terribly memorable and thats largely because the person behind them is too, and that’s all the compliments you’re getting from me because it’ll all go to your head. Remind me to play final fantasy, please.

Sniper, I still recall you being a brash dickhead who’d get super pissed off in vcs, irp and ooc. Dude, you’ve grown up so much. You’re such a genuine and kind person, and you care so much for your friends. I am so glad I dragged you into my clan, I’m so glad Fal’leon pissed off Theo all those times because I have loved their relationship and how its grown, they have such a fun dynamic. Cya at dnd man

Heart, your username honestly is so accurate. You are a loving person and insanely funny, I so wish we had rped more but our ooc friendship is way more slay anyways. I love ana and Ida, we should rp them in dms or something sometime. Thank you for paying for the clan hall, i dont deserve your kindness but i hope to continue receiving it, and you will so keep receiving art from me

Scarlet, MOM! ILY! For real, you’ve been such a constant on lotc and someone i’ve known that when things are shitty irp, i can seek you for some wholesome and enjoyable interactions. I do wish Fal and Scarlet didnt clash so much in the beliefs department, but he loves her all the same

Pancho, uhhhh ur a poopyhead who plays a cheating twink! **** u ! But frsies I so enjoy our friendship, even if you’re super weird and gayyyy, and send me weird gifs sometimes. I so hope we keep talking even with me leaving, and even though you traumatized fal’leon forever you’re one of my slayest friends

 

RMW, I miss plume and astrid, and i wish Fal got to talk to amber more. You’re so sweet, too sweet even and sometimes I think you gotta learn to be meaner to people, but i think that’s what makes you such a good person. Everyone who knows you adores you, the characters you play are always adorable and impossible not to wanna interact with, and your builds go so hard man.

Turbo, frankly your work with the musin is what inspired me to continue with the kha. We’ve been in plenty of areas together, i honestly think you’re more inescapable than i’ve been, and any time i saw a persona i knew was yours i knew I was in for some fun. More than anything, you care about making others experience enjoyable, which is a trait not enough others exhibit. Ever character you play is fun to interact with, and all uniquely memorable. Turbo is just one of those names, yknow, you mention and everyone around knows who you mean.



The important rp ends, excluding most of my characters because there’s too many.

Fal’leon has vanished without a trace, left only appears to be his staff leaned against the cave wall the Mother Grove’s fae ring, its druidic song still buzzing with life. He’s left no notes, nor evidence to where he may have gone. Though, in the past decade or so, he’d been acting rather strangely. In a daze, all he ever seemed to do was wander to cure blight and then sleep, repeating the process day in and day out. Perhaps he joined the wilds, though the silence of nature seems to imply he hasn’t yet passed on. There is, afterall, more to be done. Descendants don't take breaks in their endless destruction of nature, and so its most diligent Corvid doesn’t either.

Yhl’Kabletli, upon his divine mission from Metztli, found himself on Khalenwyr with a deep, guttural feeling. This was home. He was home. His people… They had one another. He was never satisfied there, always running from the person he feared he may become. But here, in a land reclaimed by the wilds, where the hearts of Kharajyr forgotten to time beat endlessly he had found peace. And so he chose to stay, to live within the bones of his ancestors' civilization, as a saint deity and guide to young Kha on their Lunar  Pilgrimage.
 

Anastatsya left an apology to Ida, birded it to her, including a request to run away together. Norland could never, would never feel like home. She’d known that since she was just a girl. She tried, so terribly hard. But things never clicked, and with her family all but gone there was nothing left to keep her there. The Heskynne name would likely be forgotten by history, but she would prove them as the greatest hunters the world would ever see, because that would be her life now. The truest of Heskynne’s, born in the hunt, living within it, and someday dying to it.
 

 

This last part of this has been the hardest for me tbh. God I’ve wanted to tell people off. Communities off. To list off every single thing that needs to change to fix shit. But, honestly? It's just not constructive to do so, nor to I really have the care in me at this point. LOTC will be what it is, and I’m coming to terms with the fact that it isn't for me anymore. That’s okay, it doesn’t have to be, because hundreds of people love it and that’s for a reason.

Now, I get to wait and see if the replies to this are as I predicted or not. I have bets placed so don’t disappoint me y’all ;)
But, yeah, that’s all folks. Thank you for the fun times, opportunities, and reading this far if you managed.
Blessed be, mul’ta, van’ayla, gug ye, etc.

 

Periphonics

 

[KeiLynx 68]

Yeah, I really feel this.
As my life has gotten busier and busier, I have come to the realization that when I have just a little amount of free time left, a will to hop on the server does not trump tiredness. Whereas in the past, it would have been the cure. I really only enjoy the few interactions I have with the Kha and Musin. Isolated RP things. No will to go explore the rest of the world. No patience for the events and constant warring. I know you said "Certain Communities", but we all know it's Orcs, who have been nothing but a problem for us both ic and ooc. Perhaps also my greatest source of distaste for LotC. Stuff like this is what led to the hiatuses of a few other players I am very close to. Those not willing to make posts like this to address any issues, and simply vanish without saying anything (except maybe an announcement on a discord server).

At the end of the day, although we have gotten personally attached to LotC, we joined to have fun. And staying around when that's not the case ultimately defeats the purpose. So I wish you the best in all your future endeavors! If you should be back, maybe I'll still be here, but it is far from certain. So, I will see you around, Peri!!! Thank you for all that you have done, for the hard work and dedication you have shown these past 3 years!

[NightcastorKitty 2780]

While you may have said negative things or been rather down about certain topics, I never really had issues with you. There's not really a forgiven thing to say because there's nothing there in the first place. I get how you feel. Definitely been there and done that. I hope you have a good life moving forward. ❤️

[Calise11 841]

I admire you for bringing forward everything that is making the server less.

[Turbo_Dog 3567]

Peri my man. Going to say some cliche stuff right now and there is no escaping it. My time playing alongside you was memorable and fun I knew each time Kabs was around I could listen and learn something new that was beneficial. It was just inspiring to be around you in general with your ideas one after another and keeping your community whole and in tact. And for that I appreciate you and your unyielding attitude and efforts both on and offline. Stay healthy and stay great! Also stay in touch 

[Pancho 4197]

I can’t believe I just took flak on a goodbye post and it still has sniffling. Love you peri, keep in touch

[SilverTirith 122]

Be free you glorious, glorious human being

[RMW01 318]

Love ya a bunch Peri, my discord dms are always open! Keep messaging me, ill always reply unless i once again only reply in my head. Its been fun roleplaying with you, and it will continue being fun to be your friend with or without this server for us to shove our silly characters together in. You're great, never forget that and well done for putting yourself first.

[Rig 17580]

6 hours ago, KeiLynx said:

Yeah, I really feel this...
 I know you said "Certain Communities", but we all know it's Orcs, who have been nothing but a problem for us both ic and ooc. Perhaps also my greatest source of distaste for LotC.

 

In all seriousness though to the poster of this goodbye, don't worry. People remember people on here. You don't need a heirophant title or some kind of status symbol to be remembered. To this day, I remember many of the people I played with 10 years ago. The magic about this game is the accumulation of little funny moments with your friends, and then remembering them years later.

It's a sandbox game. Server's ultimately whatever you end up making of it. Have a good time with your other endeavors in the meantime. 👋

[HobbitForHire 215]

It's been good mate, hope your head clears a little while you're gone. Weird that you were one of the first friends that I made on the server and you're leaving before I do. Weirder still that I had to drag you to the druids if I remember right! Good times.

 

If you're not back on lotc again, I'll see you in Eorzea instead.

 

Also you could have inflated my ego a little more, but I'll let you off this time.

[AuJy 273]

It was real, Periphonics. I was literally talking about Fal YESTERDAY with Hobbit haha

 

Wish we could have completed our lessons, it was going to be an interesting RP. You were great, and I hope you know the story of your characters will live on in the times you shared with people and the memories that you forged.