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lukejes

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Everything posted by lukejes

  1. This just in: U.S. Mint Employee Disciplined For Putting Own Face On Nickels

    1. Heff

      Heff

      FEEL GUILTY YOU BASTARD

  2. This just in: Kitten Thinks of Nothing But Murder All Day

    1. Thatpyrodude

      Thatpyrodude

      no, I'm disgusted to be amused by these

    2. Anawkin

      Anawkin

      I can't forgive u

    3. NTE_Killer4life

      NTE_Killer4life

      I forgive you!

  3. This just in: Decision To Ask Girl Out Made Using 10-Sided Die

  4. This just in: Cool Dad is Horrible Father

    1. gam

      gam

      shut up, there are houses to be sold

  5. This just in: Nabisco Discontinues Wheat Thicks

    1. Dry Crackers

      Dry Crackers

      How could they.

  6. This just in: British Royal Family Sadly Announces Death of Prince Charming

    1. SodaiKamikaze

      SodaiKamikaze

      Lukejes, you make my day with your stupidly funny jokes.

  7. This just in: Man Who Likes to Move-It Move-It Still Searching For Perfect Song

  8. This just in: New Report Finds Climate Change Caused By Seven Billion Key Individuals

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. ToenailTickler

      ToenailTickler

      Ha! Climate changer!

    3. TeaLulu

      TeaLulu

      Fuuuuuudge....I guess I've been caught..

    4. Helvetius

      Helvetius

      Bwahahaha!

  9. This just in: Snackistan Ceases Chiplomatic Relations With Frito-Laysia

    1. lukejes

      lukejes

      This is world changing news! You people are all ignorant.

    2. Drak3

      Drak3

      *Gasps*

  10. This just in: Star Trek Introduces Alien Character With Totally Different Forehead Wrinkles

    1. Show previous comments  9 more
    2. lukejes

      lukejes

      I'm actually a huge Star Trek fan, but yeah

    3. Helbolt

      Helbolt

      Sounds to me like an excuse to save money on makeup while still explaining something thats bothered many fans / critics.

    4. Birdwhisperer

      Birdwhisperer

      The best one was the explanation for why Klingons look so different in TOS and TNG.

  11. This just in: Study Reveals: Babies Are Stupid

  12. This just in: Children, Creepy Middle-Aged Weirdos Swept Up in Harry Potter Craze

  13. This just in: Expert On Anteaters Wasted Entire Life Studying Anteaters

    1. Birdwhisperer

      Birdwhisperer

      Where are you getting this stuff? XD

    2. lukejes

      lukejes

      My dark reaches of my mind. Possibly...

    3. TeaLulu

      TeaLulu

      This guy, I swear.

  14. This just in: Earthquake Kills 54 Rescue Workers’ Weekend Plans

    1. Kardel

      Kardel

      You got me there you. . youuuuu

    2. lukejes
  15. This just in: Winner Didn’t Even Know It Was Pie-Eating Contest

  16. This just in: Archeological Dig Uncovers Ancient Race Of Skeleton People

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Kim

      Kim

      They're hilarious

    3. Raptorious

      Raptorious

      dis guy..........

    4. lukejes

      lukejes

      What can I say? I'm a god.

  17. This just in: Fall Canceled After 3 Billion Seasons

    1. mmat
    2. Aislin

      Aislin

      I like your statuses.

  18. This just in: Pen Pal Becomes Pen Foe

  19. This just in: Scientists Trace Heat Wave To Massive Star At Center Of Solar System

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. lukejes

      lukejes

      All lies.

    3. Aislin

      Aislin

      Scientists Use Capitals For Each Word In A Sentence.

    4. lukejes

      lukejes

      Scientists Enjoy Capitals Very Much And It Is Commonly Believed That Most Newspaper Headlines Are Capitalized :)

  20. This just in: Sub-Orbital Ballistic Propulsion Engineer ‘Not Exactly A Rocket Scientist’

  21. This just in: Soulmate Dropped For New, Better Soulmate

    1. Cracker

      Cracker

      play a court jester you'd be the 1st funny one in a while!

  22. This just in: Desperate Vegetarians Declare Cows Plants

    1. lukejes

      lukejes

      This is huge news people. Wow. No one cares anymore...

    2. MediocreGamer

      MediocreGamer

      ******* luke, lol

  23. This just in: World Death Rate Holding Steady at 100 Percent

    1. Cracker

      Cracker

      this guy...

  24. When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. TeaLulu

      TeaLulu

      I don't know who you are, but I like you.

    3. lukejes

      lukejes

      I shall take over Lotc one joke at a time.

    4. SodaiKamikaze

      SodaiKamikaze

      Lukejes, have my children.

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