Mr. Etan

Vanessa shot her head over to where the crash had sounded. If it was her stupid ass ex-boyfriend again she was going to… ****.

  “Well hello Vanessa.”

  It was Barry. The little fucker had flown right through the glass of her window, completely shattering it. Now he was hovering just inside the room. His tiny little bee arms crossed in anger. Triple ****.

  “Hey Baby.” Vanessa tried as she awkwardly stumbled over to the small bee man. “I was just thinking of you.”

  “Bullshit.” Barry growled. “You were going to drink some honey. I told you about the honey bro.”

  “But Barry I just…” Vanessa started.

  “No. “ Barry interrupted. “I told you about the honey and all the trouble us bees go through just to have you guys go and eat that **** up. I mean Jesus Vanessa. What the ****? You know about all the pain and ****. You know what we do all day? We make honey. Everyday. All day. Until we die.  Even bee Larry King.”

  “Barry I’m sorry I just had to…” Vanessa tried explaining again. She couldn’t handle this right now. Tears started welling up in her eyes.

  “I’m sorry Vanessa but I just can’t. I thought you were different.” Barry interrupted again. Turning away in exasperation he continued. “I just, Vanessa, I loved you. I wanted to get bee married to you!”

  “Oh Barry! I love you too. Please don’t go! I want to have weird human/bee babies with you!!” Vanessa exclaimed, throwing herself into Barry’s tiny little bee arms. All six of them.

  “Oh Vanezza oh!” Barry exclaimed in his endearing bee accent as he caught Vanessa in his arms. “I’m so sorry I exploded at you. It’s just ever since Adam’s stinger accident…”

  “Shhhhhhhhhh…” Vanessa shush papped Barry as she brought a finger to his bee lips. “I understand. It was wrong of me to drink your honey after all of the trouble you went through to make it a thing.”

  Then Vanessa and Barry kissed a kiss so passionate that it broke all the laws of physics. Just like bees do every time they lift their fat little bodies off the ground. Physics man, those rules were meant to be broken. Like in Footloose. Or Ghost. I mean come on, ghosts can’t make pottery. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Liam wtf

Liam wtf