lawnmowerman

*brandishes skeleton nkight charcter

"Yeah so I play this really cool vampire girl on a minecraft roleplay server" 

the cashier nods quite disinterested

Upon the fourth mention of the vampire character, the cashier kindly asks the young girl to leave only to be responded in a barrage of vitriolic Mediterranean slurs. From the back, a man hobbles over with an odd foot- alas, he cannot display his true identity for fear of the local mall authorities. 

With a swift shout of "f*ggot" from the club-footed suitor, the girl curls into his arms whispering about how she will gut the cashier for such insolence to their 'lore'. The cashier blinks an eye at a time, yawning.

Upon the yawn, the girl screeches- "HELP ME HE WEEL HURT ME" to the other store patrons- perhaps the girl was all bark and no bite. Her clubfooted suitor repeats the phrase "f*ggot* numerous more times. 

Since this day, the girl has not returned to the mall for such evil criticisms.