Proddy

10/10 pisslord

“Harhar! You damned thieving bastard! Serves you right!” chortles an old and senile Louis de Savoie from his villa in Ulmsbottom. As a servant touts him around in a wheelchair, the elderly Prince tosses his hands around erratically. “Now! Prepare my finest suit and a boat, I need to go see my father!” The poor servant scratches his head with trepidation, having to mentally prepare himself to break the news to his Alzheimer’s ridden master for the hundredth time…

Woland of Attenlund trudges through the Almarisian woods in scouring for his prey, his most recently acquire contract. Upon happening across the monstrosity at last, the Black Hawk of the Hexers plugs in his airpods, drawing his lengthy slayersteel claymore from his back. Carnage commenceth.

Skin Name: traveller thing Discord Tag: Proddy#6458 Bid(s): $19

From within the cloistered, stony walls of Dun an Ein, one Woland of Attenlund would peer over the missive as a rather jittery and nervous courier boy would disperse a copy at the front doors. The Black Hawk of the Hexer's Creed mulls over it's etchings and odd runs with his lonesome eye, teeth gritting direly. The brute's head casts upward, staring straight toward a ticking clock hung upon the mantle piece of a hearth. It's point would forever turn, much like the passage of time. Destiny colliding, inescapable fate interweaving. Tick tock, it would rattle. Tick tock, tick tock... "The world forever turns, and we stand on the precipice of apocalypse." he drones out to nobody in particular. Perhaps just to himself as he sat within that empty hall, hand crumpling tightly around that paper. "But Causality has been severed many times over. And it shall be again."

Count Fernand prepares his finest attire for such a momentous occasion, eager to witness the marriage of his guardian.

Fernand Pruvia sighs upon being notified of his aunts demise. He lights a candle in vigil for her passing and rests it atop the windowsill of his chambers in the Aster Palace, for despite her treason she was still family.

THE PRUVIAN SEDITION Penned upon the 12th of Godfreys Triumph, 1868 The necessity of this declaration saddens me to my very core. It is imperative that I must, however, uphold the oaths of fealty and servitude I gave to the Royal Crown just a Saint’s Day ago. No matter the cost, we must place our country and faith in our new monarch above all else. Something that three members of my house have failed to do. To the three signatories - Philip Michael, Eleanor Lucienne and Jean Henri; I say shame upon you! To turn your back upon family and kingdom in such a wretched and disgraceful manner, all in the name of pursuing your own glory and dastardly ambition. Were it not Peter the Pretender that publicly scorned us upon my mothers abdication? Were it not King Frederick, in all his grace and benevolence, that granted our family land and holdings so that we could prosper anew? The three of you are an insult to this house, naught but spineless schemers who shall reap and toil for an eternity in the Void for this treachery you have committed. Despite my minority, I cannot sit idly by whilst these dissident relatives of mine betray me and the King I have chosen to stand by in such open and flagrant manner. Therefore, as the Count of Provins and Patriarch of the House of Pruvia, I do hereby decree the following; The three signatories, those by the name of Philip Michael, Eleanor Lucienne and Jean Henri are hereby; I. Disowned of our family and house, and stripped of the name of Pruvia. II. Disqualified from the line of inheritance to the County of Provins III. To be immediately removed from the Chateau d’Aubepine, should they currently take residence there. IV. To be detained and handed over to the Royal Crown of Oren to face justice for their act of sedition should they be caught trespassing upon my land. To you trio of serpents, you weeds within the grass, I appeal to you personally; abandon this folly that is the loyalty you invest in Peter the Pretender. Come to the Aster Hall and give yourself to his Royal Majesty so that you might receive judgment. Perhaps then, you might be spared a more merciful fate than what you truly deserve. Issued and Declared, The Right Hon. Fernand Antoine Pruvia, Count of Provins The Viscountess-Dowager, Lady Claude Elisabeth de Savoie, Regent of Provins

The Count of Provins begins to draft an official response to this false missive.

Fernand Pruvia smirks. “No Peterists on my land!” the boy Count exclaims from the Imperial Hall of Aster, his voice breaking in a nasally crack.

“Do as tho wilt.” murmurs Robert Foltest from the Void, giving a firm nod up to his only child.

A DECLARATION OF FEALTY Penned upon the 13th of Owyn’s Flame, 1868 “In this world, is the destiny of mankind controlled by some transcendental entity or law? Is it like the hand of God hovering above? At least it is true that man has no control; even over his own will.” -Unknown. TO THE RESPECTABLE PEERS AND CITIZENS OF THE EMPIRE, In the aftermath of the Empire’s dissolution and the restoration of the Kingdom of Oren, the Count of Provins traveled upon his own will to Providence. Making the bountiful journey to the Royal throne room of Aster Hall, the young Count Fernand swore his oath of fealty to King Frederick I in person. This missive, however, shall prove as an official and public declaration of continued service to the King and Crown. The Comital House of Provins does hereby swear that it shall uphold its oath and service throughout this tumultuous time of change. It shall remain in stalwart servitude to the Royal Crown, and uphold its duty in eradicating traitors and would-be dissidents against the rightful King Frederick I. Additionally, at the personal behest of his Royal Majesty, Count Fernand shall relocate to the Imperial Palace to begin a wardship beneath King Frederick I. The House of Pruvia is most elated at this glorious and spectacular opportunity and extends its utmost thanks and gratitude to the Royal Crown. GLOIRE AU ROI, The Right Hon. Fernand Antoine Pruvia, Count of Provins Her Ladyship, Countess-Dowager Claude Elisabeth de Savoie, Lady Regent of Provinss

Father Humbert von Mozgus continues to pray.

Discord Tag: Proddy#6458 Skin Name: Adventurer Bid(s): $12

Ragnarr "Hairyarse" von Arichsdorf, the lesser known and less mentally challenged brother of Manfred, chortles fatly as he slaps his bulging, protruding gut. "HARHARHAR. Ye really fookin shown t'em, brodir." he cackles on and on, dribble rolling down his chin as he scratches at one his triple chins. The fat pagan then arises, livening his step as he'd begin their family tradition of dancing around the Burning Bush in commemoration of the ten Nordling defeats during the Nordling Wars!