Mescaffier

Astaroth cackles, rubbing her hands together like a fly. "Hooray! Technically not a woman, but I'll take it," that Magi grinned, reaching out toward the table beside her to begin whittling away at a piece of wood she held.

An Intrepid Knight squinted as she paged through the booklet, bony fingers quietly cracking. She let out a laugh and put it back down where it'd been placed with a mighty grimace. "Their leader calls themselves an 'Alpha'. Embarrassing," that woman scoffed, looking over to the abomination by her side.

Hello

Please do not metagame the contents of this letter if you're not @Werew0lf😎 During the night, some horrid amalgam swoops down from the sky and lands with a tiny 'THUD', letter held tight in a toothy beak. It was a hefty white crow with curled horns and an impish little lizard's tail, with bones that jutted out in such awkward places that made it seem like it was a child's drawing come to life. It let out a hoarse caw and dropped the parchment on the ground, awaiting its receiver. TO The Dark God Malik, My name is Astaroth! I'm an Inquisitor of the Greed Hand just recently heralded, though I find my rank somewhat unbecoming. You see, I am EVIL! Very evil, as my usage of red might allude to ... And the list I gave of my evil deeds hardly scratch the surface of my . . . Evilness! Thus, I will tell you a few short tales and pray you find them worthy enough of me acquiring the title of a Greed Lord. Once, I was banished from Orenia for giving my child a blast potion. Not quite on purpose, but she did end up having a few shards of glass getting thrown in the face of some snotty child (who ended up attempting to sue me for insurance!), so it worked out very well. In my PRIME (did I mention I'm immortal?), I had a great flock of children I adopted slash stole slash procured with plans to create my own army. If they were weak, however, I simply gave them to the mutated rats beneath Oren. They either came out a champion or food for the rats. I've also had, at the VERY least, ten husbands ('Sir Alren DeNurem', 'Philip Pruvia', 'Edward Edvardsson', 'Sir Heath Linnord', like ... A lot.), which can attest to how extremely charming I am. However, most of them I've woefully had to put down or send off to sea for being rude and/or infidelity. And FINALLY. I once convinced the entirety of Oren that I was a Daemon named Al'adalm after I planted bombs and exploded their bank, hospital, AND tavern in a few nights with the aid of my son and long-dead undead companion. I never even got a scratch on me, which either shows that I am truly a strong woman or the Orenians of yore were pathetic little vermin. Both? P.S. Here's an evil diagram of ME, hand-painted by a peasant girl I found on the streets. P.S.S., if I am evil enough to ascend to the title of Greed Lord, can I please be something cool? Like ... The Lady of Abominations! Or ... The Lady of Crows! Note the 'r' in Crows. It does not say Cows. I write 'r's very small sometimes. I do not wish to be the Lady of Cows. This is not to say I dislike Cows, however. YOUR'S,

"They complain to the void itself," chuckled an Intrepid Knight. "There's none but us old peasant folk left, those who were, too, used by greedy men born into power."

A Dame begins madly scribbling down on the paper, her face twisted wide with curious glee. What is your name?: Astaroth What is your age?: Old. Like ... A century and a half? What is your race?: I think a human. I look like one, anywho. Where do you reside?: Krugmar Do you have sorcery?: Life evocation, Alchemy and an unsavory Further Alchemy, Haruspexy, and ~House Shamanism~ Are you currently in a political affiliation with any nation?: Krugmar's Grubgoth. I cook'a'da meatball. In a few words, please explain what ‘fun’ means: Looting all these accursed, empty towns and keeps littered across Almaris. I stole someone's robot leg straight from a chest once and got a PRETTY penny for it! In a few words, tell us the most ‘evil’ thing you have done: Served Inferi (soul may or may not be sucked into Moz Strimoza upon death. Tichar didn't tell me.), create faux life on a whim and watch it painfully disintegrate back into the void when I become bored, other miscellaneous things I've been sworn to secrecy to by dead-folk, and worst of ALL, I was Orenian.

An Intrepid Knight catches the flier in passing, poising a brow. "Velu? The ISA Velu? Can't believe she's still alive! Ea mean ..." they muttered, turning to look at their display case and toward one elven skull in particular. "Yam glad. I need to catch up with her."

Really cool lore, I love seeing void magic get more stuff 🤩

"DISGUSTING!" A woman clad in half-plate, with malflame scars wrapping her body like bandages and bony hands, rips the paper in two. "A Human and and Elf! Disgusting, a cursed family, now. All they will create are more cursedlings," spat the very Knight who herself had at least 8 half-elven children. "Who could be so daft as to marry a human?"

___ ____ _ ____ _ _ | |/ / | | / \ (_) | | | ' / ___ ___ | | ___ / _ \ _ __| | | < / _ \ / _ \| | |___| / (_) \ | |/ _` | | . \| (_) | (_) | | / ____ \ | | (_) | |___|\___\\___/ \___/|_| /___/ \___\|_|\__,_| _______________ ____________ ( _____________ ) ___ ( ) / _ _ \/ _ \ ( OH YEAH! ) / (,) (,) \/ \ \ /_____________) | _ | | | _______ | (_) | | | _______ ( . . )_ | . . |/ / ( . . )_ | o |_) \ '.....' /__/ | o |_) ) '-' ( \ / ) '-' ( (_______) )_____________( (_______) ____(_______________)_________________________________

A woman chuckles, glancing at the flier. Name: Dame Viktoriya DeNurem Age: . . . Old 'nuff Gender: I am all. All is me. I was born a woman, though. Race: "Human" Interested in: All. Preferably men? I am interested in being schemed on? Sure.

w-what kind of wood?

Dame Viktoriya DeNurem sheds a tear. "General DeNurem was te' best General, period. Yam biased, I guess."

Luke 6:30 PM EST And the angel said unto him: "Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself." But low he could not. For the angel was hitting him with his own hands. religion :puke:

The Lone Traveler screams as he suddenly appears, hitting him with a broom. "OUT! GET OUTTE' ME HOUSE, DEMON!?!"

A lone traveler looks at the flier with a confused squint. "Where's Dunrath...?"

"Hrmm ..." hummed an intrepid knight. "I now declare ME as Duchess of Rozania. Because, yam cooler."

Somewhere out there, old Dame Viktoriya weeps. She'd served that Empire for a hundred long, grueling years, and now it was gone. But, Oren would never have been the same as it had, anywho. In contrast, Viathan Othaman the would-be ... No, would-have-been Count of Valles, celebrates with his husband on their boat. "Good riddance Oren, good riddance palace harlots, good riddance it all! The seas are the only freedom left!"

acre, I swear didnt they kill king frederick yesterday 😰

congrats everyone!!

Dame Viktoriya side-eyes the paper. "Too bad te' Empire nie longer exists."