Atheran Eye - Issue Three - The Truth About High Elves

[Rassidic 470]

Another Atheran Eye post , with a... picture? It's hard to say , but it looks painted.

 

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Highlander Culture Results ;

 

Raevir ; 29 (Best Culture)

 

Aesterwaldian ; 12 (Runner-Up)

 

Adunian and Other ; 4 (Both Are **** Cultures)

 

 

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Atheran Eye - Issue Three (Gahk)

 

Ah , the mali'aheral (or high elves). What a noble sub-race of the mali. Known widely for their abhorant racism , dictatorship and complete lack of any form of coffee (it's a true fact , they don't need sleep!). Now , we all know that the high elves are full of hate , but why? Why are they so disgusting and vile? Well , I've found out! After many autopsy's , interviews and water-boarding sessions , I have discovered the truth behind the infamous affliction that plagues the mali'aheral within the silver walls!

 

 

 

Now , at first glance , the picture above may disturb you. It may even shock you , or make you feel sick. The picture above , is of the parasite that is dug deep into the mali'aheral brain 'stem' , something that many doctors and surgeons have never found before , until now. Upon further analysis , I have discovered that the parasite shown above is , in fact , a form of Undead insect that has since 'molded' itself around the mali'aheral anatomy after many centuries. It appears to feed off of mali' blood as if it were a beast of the night , and when it is done feeding , it leaves a form of poison within the mali'aheral blood. I have named this poison 'Aheral Anxiety' (for reasons unknown) , and I will continue to research it in greater depths for the next issue.

The main components of this parasite are the 'Sack of Hate' , 'Body of Hate' and the 'Rear End'. I assume that once the parasite passes into the mali' body (via the 'back door') , it locks itself into the stem connected to the mind. This allows it to control the mali'aherals actions and speech , which explains why so much mindless bullshit flows from their mouths. In-fact , the parasite itself seems to have changed not only the mental aspect of the 'Silver Elves' , but also their physical features! If you look closely at a mali'aheral , you will notice that their mouth is actually an anus! It spews out fecal matter constantly without any hesitation! And the blonde hair seen on many 'aherals seems to be related to the 'racism amplifier' seen on the parasite itself! A marvel of nature and science , I say!

Now , you may be asking yourself 'how can we save the poor , senseless mali'aheral?!?!?'. My short answer , is to smash their skulls against pavements and/or curbs. This makes the brain (or mind) go completely numb , meaning the parasite has nothing to feed on , meaning it starves. Then , a cleric can come along and save the 'aheral! Simple (unless , of course , you let them bleed out against the road)! Alternatively , you can just stomp on their skulls until they explode , and /then/ remove the parasite manually.

Don't let yourself become a parasite on the mali'! Speak rightly , not racistly!
 

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I only speak the truth , the whole truth and nothing but a small amount of lies

[Graf 135]

Alice Hightower-Fáóláin hears the word "high elf" when given the newspaper, and doesn't even bother attempting to read it, assuming it's going to be the same "edgy stuck-up elitists" nonsense everyone seems to be on about.

[~ Fiend ~ 611]

Isabella falls over laughing.

[Rassidic 470]

Alice Hightower-Fáóláin hears the word "high elf" when given the newspaper, and doesn't even bother attempting to read it, assuming it's going to be the same "edgy stuck-up elitists" nonsense everyone seems to be on about.

 

Alice , in this case , would be wrong.

[Wendigo 786]

Riondil would lean in reading the post before straightening with a shrug "Perhaps such a parasite lives within the minds of lesser races..." he'd say before continuing down the road.

[Delmodan 855]

Arinislia exhales softly, "The lack of intelligence of the lessers is truely outstanding~"

[The Thought Police 73]

Kryllaal giggles and eats the newspaper.

[Catarrh 720]

  Lothaire reads the paper, and sighs, "While there may indeed be a racism problem among some high elves, the solution to hate is never more hate. It seems, however, that every issue of this so-called 'newspaper' is about how much this woman hates whomever she writes about. Maybe someone should write an issue about her..." he chuckles with a slight tone of mischief. 

[bulgaria is white 461]

"Truly the National Enquirer of our generation."

[Baconthief 682]

((Void this post, it went way off into irrelevance since I am watching starship troopers and heard mentioning of brain bugs))

[OhDeerLord 673]

Dwyn reads over the article and shakes his head "this helps nothing, all these articles have been pure lies, and now the author is even attacking the Aheral.." He sighs and drops the paper in the road, going back to his work

[Sky 0]

With a soft smile Belou hands the paper to her older family members.

 

"Read this, I assume it's some kind of humour newsletter."

[James 425]

Adaril Calm looks down the newsletter with a smirk, moving down to examine the diagram before breaking out laughing, shaking his head as he rolls up the newsletter, turning to walk back down the main road.

[Huh 91]

Moved to the Great Library. It shall be sorted into appropriate category shortly.