[9] Sluthery The Slothful And The Swirling Hill

[Supremacy 3357]

Author/s: Mithradites

REGION 9: Sluthery the Slothful and the Swirling Hill

 

Were a player to look inside a crooked and decrepit shack found somewhere in halfling-land, they might happen upon a small, crumbling book. Its faded colours look as if they were once colourful and vibrant, implying that it may have been for a child. A simple picture of a snail can be made out on its rotting cover. Within is terrible poetry.

On the inside cover however, there’s some handwriting in ink scribbled in barely-legible cursive.

“I remember you loving this book when you were the size of a pickle, Damni. I hope it gives you a little smile in the coming days, despite the dreadful rhyming.

Much love, your brother, Herbert.

P.S. Don’t stop making your pumpkin pies!”

 

Upon the next page, the book itself begins.

 

Far back in the days of the silliest yore,

When knights would woo ladies, and fight nothing but boar,

There was an old wizard; a white beard to his ankles,

His name were Migweed Berleuth-Perrydankles.

Old wizened Migweed were in a slump,

Whilst in his chair resting his wrinkly rump.

He were tired of all these youngin’s a-many,

Rushing about and bothering him a-plenty.

He wanted to set a good example,

For all the chil’rens against their rushful debacle.

So he scratched his chin, and thunk’d a bunch,

And decided instead he’d have some lunch.

And ‘lo, he sat down with a pumpkin pie,

And ate his fill with a serving of lye,

Then slowly it came from across the old table,

A small sloshing snail, most slow and graceful.

“Aha!” Exclaimed Migweed with a grin most cunning.

“Ye will be he to send my message a-pummeling,

Into the mind of many a young stoat!”

The snail, in reply, said nothing of note.

The snail were small, no greater than a mere finger,

But on such details Migweed weren’t one to linger.

He enchanted his magiks into his pumpkin pies,

That any who dined would grow ten times their size!

Migweed fed the snail a piece most fat,

And the snail were grown to the size of a cat!

But the snail loved the taste, and was the greedy sort,

And ate and ate ‘til he were the size of a fort!

Migweed named his fort-snail Sluthery,

And rode upon his shell through miles of shrubbery.

But at the first town, he met the sum of his fears.

He had died during the trip--it had taken ten years!

Not only were size that Sluthery did gain,

But also did grow his sluggish snail-brain.

And what did he ask the scared townsfolk within?

“Poompkim Poie!” he glubbled with a grin.

Town after town did he demand of pie,

And fatter he grew as years went by.

Until one day he felt a wee-bit woozy.

So he found a nice field, and had himself a snoozy.

But this snooze were nary a quiet little matter,

He’s yet to wake up, and not getting any fatter!

Plants and trees grew while he was so still.

His shell is bright green! He has become a hill!

So ends the tale of Sluthery the Slothful.

But, sweet reader, always be mindful;

Grow no pumpkins, those who would tempt fate,

Or you may find him sloshing towards -your- gate!

 

Sluthery is a hill near the edge of halfling land, and will awake if enough pumpkins are planted nearby. He is not violent, or horribly dangerous, but he is very, very slow, and very stupid. He will approach those in nearby towns (likely the halflings) to give him “poomkim poie” until he’s eaten his fill. When he’s full, he’ll go back to his original resting spot, and sleep once more.

He is about the size of a large manor, and nigh impervious to any attacking force, save for huge amounts of salt. His shell is as strong as steel, and his slime may also have miraculous healing capabilities, so it is unlikely those he slithers over will be killed, or even injured.

He knows/understands no other words outside of four-- “Sluthery wunts poomkim poie.” Talking to him will likely get an answer of those four words. His shell is mostly mossy green with trees growing from its highest points. He is recoiled inside his shell, and will not wake up for -any- other reason aside from smelling pumpkins.