Coming of the Third-Breed

[Zhulik 3559]

The coming of the Third-Breed

 

By Sir Edward Spivey the Chaste

 

    It has been recorded on many occasions by a large margin of credible sources that the breeds of man and elf are not alone in this plane of existence.  In a variety throughout history, the races of the mortal kindred have been visited, without our knowledge, by an undocumented breed of creature from the realms beyond that of our petty mortal cognition. Through years upon years of hard research and solid, empirical and highly formulaic experimentation, Vander scientists and their affiliates have come to the highly scientific conclusion that these anomalies were indeed encounters with the races from the realm known as X (commonly denoted by ζ ).

    The X-ists, or so the researchers have come to call them, exist in a dimension beyond the realms of the mortal and metaphysical matrixes and in between the spaces between the spaces, or so is believed based on the evidence gathered. They believe that the so called X-ists have indeed been summoned from the physical matrix through black rituals and quasi-trans-dimensional worm tubes torn through the very fabric of the “Space-time goo”, a term used by the researchers to denote the realm of  undefined (not0=Gx6.66(ζφ )^2.not). It's all very scientific. According to lead project manager and chairman of the Institute of Science and Intellectual-logistical Systems (I.S.I.S.), Sir Adawulf of Kaedrin, the X-sists were,

    “...Summoned by forces capable of deriving the Space-time axiom and utilizing its potential through the process known as 'Gooing', thereby which log(656) is used as a measure of the quantity of (not.not), or simplified, the quotient of X^(log(666)u=u(x)/Σ f(x) = ex(goo), where in (goo)={6.022x1023/1488}. Therefore, when the circumference of the worm tube ( ζ) is tangent to the quotient of X^(log(656)u=u(x)/Σ f(x) = ex(goo) all raised to the power of (not0=Gx6.56(ζφ )^2.not), X must equal undefined=( ζ) Since the inverse of X^(log(666)u=u(x)/Σ f(x) = ex(goo) raised by log(666) is undefined. This proves that undefined is defined and that the Ebliontologists are behind this anomaly.”

    Since no individual has yet refuted Sir Adawulf's theorem, it must indeed be fact and the Ebliontologists must indeed be a breed from the X-dimension. According to Adawulf, since the sum of all the sums of the angles of the Ebliontologist Eblic, is, and I quote, exactly parallel to the graph of X^(log(656)u=u(x)/Σ f(x) = ex(goo) when graphed on the X-plane and set as a factor of the inverse of log(656), the Ebliontologist  Eblic must indeed be undefined ( ζ) , and therefore is defined according to the “Space-time Goo postulate”. This proves that the Eblic is indeed a symbol from the X-dimension and it was, and I quote, likely used as a tether in which to engulf our plane of existence and allow the X-ist to “leap” from the X-dimension to the realm of not X via the opening of a worm tube ( ζ).Observe the following figure for further explanation:

    In addition to the overwhelming evidence in favor of Sir Adawulf's theorem, the simple nature and physical form of the Ebliontologist is evidence of extra-dimensional breeding. It is known and proven by many credible sources that the common Ebliontologist has a cranium circumference roughly one third that of the common human male, and approximately one half that of the male elf. This comes to show how the Ebliontologist is not only an alien breed from the X-dimension, but it is also much less intelligent and far more primitive in all aspects of cognitive ability, especially in basic diction and hygiene. A recent study performed by the Vander and Khalestine Department of Public Fitness and Breeding has concluded that, and I quote, the Ebliontologist race is exactly 89.9% inferior in relations to the races of man and have been ranked 203rd on the Breeding and Fitness Scale, falling just behind the Kralto-Malinorian and marginally ahead of the mule. From this evidence, the Vandorian Society and their affiliates have concluded that,

    “The Ebliontologist race was most likely spawned as a result of inter-breeding between Kralto-Malinorian/ mule half-breeds and aliens from the X-Dimension. All evidence collected and analyzed by our top scholars have come to support this conclusion.”

 

[Reckless Banzai Screamer 15456]

"IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!" sHOUTS NAFIS

[DeepDarkSamurai 25]

"It is proven with 99.74% certainty that this theory is indeed fact until disproven. Seeing that is impossible by basic goo theory... Seems fair to me." Abraham ponders out loud.

[Pavel Tsarniev 46]

god bless

[Sky 0]

"Is this real?"

[James 425]

Moved to the Archive. It shall be sorted into the appropriate category shortly.