Contemplations

[JoanOfArc 4604]

 

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CONTEMPLATIONS

 

Scribed by

FR. GRIFFITH OF GWYNON

 

TOBIAS’ BOUNTY

1781

 

An icon depicting St. Jude of Petrus in Qalasheen style.

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Righteous and God-fearing St. Jude of Petrus,  I ask for your intercession for the children of God. We ache to see the glory of the heavenly skies and wish for peace in all corners of this war torn world. I ask that the cursed words I write may be turned to words pleasing to the Holy Immortal. Pray that the children of God have many years to repent from our sins. Be blessed unto ages of ages, holy saint! Amen.

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Since my birth, every word I have ever spoken or action ever committed, I have regretted with all my heart, Holy Immortal. You who are full of love, kindness, compassion, and grace, I could never fathom why you stand to hear my voice or see my body. I do not say things to bring others up, only to tear them down. Throughout my life, my friends and family hear me speak down to them like a cruel daemon, defacing those beings you gave life to. My hands themselves have committed atrocity after atrocity, defiling the very ground you gave rise to. I am nothing more than a servant of the evil one, ruining the beautiful world you have given form and shape to with the aenguls.

 

I wish to be like an author so that I may rewrite the last pages I have written to be made more perfect and better. How can you stand to watch my miserable life play out eternally for you? Lord, you are full of mercy and grace to allow me to exist still. Not one good thing have I ever done and not one good thing will I ever do has not been solely by thy abundant grace. In vain hope, I assumed that after my rebirth I would be purged of the daemons trying to sway my soul away from you so that I may do good, but how vain of a thought that was! I realize now that the struggle of man is endless against the lusts of the flesh and the daemons of below. To reject what my soul wants, how could I ever do that? To stop a daemon from speaking lies into my ears, how could I ever stop that? Through your power only, is it truly possible. For if it was my power alone, I would be divulging the pleasures of my flesh like I have done before my rebirth. I will be singing daemonic hymns to the evil one. You forgive and have mercy unto ages of ages, but is it only you who forgives and has mercy? Lord, I confess unto thee, I sinned many times against friends and family, strangers and enemies. I am not a righteous man, and while I often do apologize to those I have done wrong against, never do they truly forgive me. I hold them to a standard I, myself, never hold to. There are many I hold with bitterness in my heart towards and I wish for this burden to be rid of. Make me forgive those who trespass against me and grant my adversaries a long life of repentance.

 

I do pray for another favor, my Lord. A question. Is my love in the heavenly skies? I have forsaken both of our purity and forsaken your commandments, but I do care for her still. Shall we see each other in the heavenly skies? I have sinned and repented from my sin everyday. I pray, if it is not enough, that you may keep care for her always. Her sin is my sin, for she was a woman after your heart, and I, a tempter of her soul. Only those who are in the heavenly skies know if my love is there, but saints above pray for her safety wherever her soul is.

 

I pray now also to the guardian aenguls of downtrodden, for their work must be endless. I have never gone without a home before, and when I was with mother and father, they kept me within their homestead safe and sound. I have never been without food and drink. I have never been without my wants. Why do others have needs and wants if you have given me harvest after harvest? Must they suffer for no reason, or is there a reason that I do not know of? Is it to show your glory by my charity and alms unto them, but why would that be so? I do not know the answer, and perhaps shall never, but I shall submit to you by being charitable. I pray and wish for all to be well and have filled stomachs. I pray and wish to be reborn once again with more arms that I may comfort all those souls living on the streets of the Empire with a warm embrace. Lord now also forgive me for I have often passed by beggars with marks in my hand and not given them a single one. Please give unto beggars houses made of gold in your heavenly skies. Their life down below was undeserved and is full of pain. Grant them one they deserve and one that is full of peace.

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Through the prayers and intercessions of the holy Exalted prophets, the Mother of Peace St. Julia, and St. Jude of Petrus, and all the saints,  Lord have mercy on our souls. Amen.

 

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[Monomakhos 1849]

Father Seraphim smiles but also frowns at Griffith from the Seven Skies. Or was it his skete? He couldn’t decide.

[DahStalker 3692]

Vaeri of Owynsburg silently read the scribed contents with a soft smile, satisfied that her friend had heeded her words and wrote, head inclining gently with mute approval.

[_Sug 2809]

St. Jude offers a smile and a blessing upon the man from the skies residing in his villa located on the countryside.

[Iudaes 1095]

Father Manfried’s visage held a smile of sympathy and understanding as his eyes scanned the document. He would, after he finished reading, seek out his spiritual brother.

[thesmellypocket 1859]

"Trust in God. God requires only humble obedience, nothing more. All other things are in His hand." Comments Pius in a letter to Father Griffith, his Confessor.

 

"The most important graces to pray for are the love of God, and perseverance in it. Everything else is infinitely secondary."