Happy Days are Here Again! (Beetroot News, Volume 15)

[NotEvilAtAll 10906]

Spoiler

 

[!] A halfling newspaper finds its way into your mailbox

The Beetroot News!

~Better than the rest!~

 

Contents:

~Kit-Kat’s 33^rd Birthday Party!~

~Mondy’s Baking Sale!~

~Smoking Party!~

~Interview with BIggun~

 

~Kit-Kat’s 33^rd Birthday Party!~

~Complete with tavern decorations and everything!~

Kit-Kat, one of Brandybrook's elders, has come of age! This is a cause for celebration, o’ course, seeing as our li’l leader is not so li’l anymore! Many halflings and bigguns alike gathered in the Toady Traveler Tavern for some booze, cake, and gift giving. A wonderful time was had by all!

 

~Mondy’s Baking Sale!~

~The line for Mondy’s free baked goods, around halfway through the sale~

Mondy Applefoot, me sister, has given all us wee folks some free baked goods to fill our wee stomachs! While the line was a bit long, there’s nay a halfling in Brandybrook who’ll tell you that it wasn’t worth it! A good selection of baked goods is always something to crave, after all!

 

~Smoking Party!~

~Lining up to smoke!~

The halfling art of smoking pipeweed is coming back to Brandybrook! I myself whittled out a few pipes for us wee folks, and gave ‘em all out along with some pipeweed! Sure did make for a lovely night of smoking with the lads!

~The smoking competition!~

I am proud to announce that Andon Cloudberry, a well loved halfling in Brandybrook, has won the smoking competition! He gained a bit of ol’ pirate treasure as his reward, with every participant being given some fancy pipeweed just for taking part!

 

~Interview with Biggun~

~The lands of Rosenyr, a place ‘round the same part of the world as Talon’s Grotto.~

I visited Talon’s Grotto, and interviewed a biggun I found there. Here’s what they had to say:

Filibert: “Tell me what you think of this Talon’s Grotto place that you live in, you do live here, aye?”

Biggun: “It seems like a decent place. I only just started hanging around here after me and my friends’ ship crashed a few days ago”

Filibert: “What ship was it? Were the Korvassa Demons involved?”

Biggun: “Oh no Demons or anything uber dramatic, it was just a ship somewhere off the island. Crashed during a storm. Me and my friends managed to swim to land and find ourselves here”

Filibert: “How are the locals here? Do they bathe frequently? Is the booze too expensive for your liking?”

Biggun: “The people here are pretty welcoming. The drinks do seem somewhat pricy here, at least the tea. I found out I don’t like alcohol but yeah, either way the tavern is pricy. The city is kinda dirty looking but it has some charm. I was surprised to find they actually have a bath house here”

 

Is the tea of Talon’s Grotto overpriced? I will leave YOU, the reader, to decide for yourself.

 

That’s all for now folks!
-Filibert Applefoot,

local halfing know-it-all.

[Notic 953]

Edward glanced down, “So I wasn’t the only one who crashed in that storm. Interesting.”

[TameFX 67]

Theo paces the newspaper and spot “i dont like alcohol very much” his jaw drops and is stood in his place speechless

[AmorphousSolid 16]

Gillsy huffs as she closes the newspaper. “Avin’ teh pay fer a drink? Blasphemeh.”

[Trigamar 77]

Boris yawned, lazily browsing the newspaper from his perch in a near-by tree. “Eh big s’orm, aye?” Shrugging, he rolled over to take a nap.

[Nug 2011]

A goblin perusing through a few halfling’s mailboxes in the night comes across the untouched newsletter, murmuring a comment to herself lowly, as to not wake the sleeping burrow-dwellers...

 

“Vahma nub hab aneh skah lyke diz een da goi, zmokin’ party, bake zale... Vahma juz’ gonnuh leave agh bekome znaak inztead...”

 

 

“Vahma no have any **** like this in the city, smokin’ party, bake sale... Vahma just gonna leave and become halfling instead...”

 

[Ainulindalen 181]

Valorin chuckles to himself as he indulges in impure sources of news. “Glad tidings from the halfling-folk. They are a merry people and bring cheer and joy to a blighted region.“