HeyitsNano 1582 Share Posted March 20, 2022 "It's a bird.. No, it's a plane! ... No, it's a.... street vendor?" JonesCO presents… A JonesCO - Baronial House Keen invention! The MULTI USE MULTI INGREDIENT MULTI SIZE JonesCO IMPERIAL Gel Paste YOU CAN…. ☆ Use it to fashion your hair to the latest imperial styles, ☆ Use it with water to wash out any and all dirt and grime gained from a long day of warfare, ☆ Use it to clean the sword you used to slay many heretics and goblins, ☆ Use it on that one pesky wagon wheel that squealed the whole way from Haense, ☆ Use it on your cat, your dog, and anything in-between for a shiny, gleaming coat, ☆ Use it to fuel your lantern, ☆ Use it on your clothes to keep warm in those cold Orenian winter nights ☆ Use it to glue posters on a wall, ☆ Use it on your shoes to keep them dry in even the most torrential rainstorms. The water rolls right off! ☆ Use it and form bricks out of which to make shelter, USE IT FOR ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING! The best part? It's ENTIRELY edible, and has a sweet-savory taste to it, so if you're stranded in a Savoyard desert and in desperate need of instant food, whip out your can of JonesCO IMPERIAL Gel Paste! Only 10 Mina a can! Not enough? For an upgraded 40 Mina, you can get a whole BARREL of it! Still not enough? Contact JONESCO and for the SMALL price of 150 Mina, you can receive an entire BUTTLOAD of it! Need more still? For the smallest price of 1000 Mina you can have an IMPERIAL Gel Paste AQUADUCT installed in your town for instant and infinite access to the material! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrothic 74 Share Posted March 20, 2022 A large man, dressed in a gold decorated, cherry red circus master suit, chuckled to himself"BAHAHA! Glad to see the products are doing well!" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessSnowie 539 Share Posted March 20, 2022 Vespira L. mused the missive with a smile, pondering if she should try to get some for the boutique. Then as she read the part about 'Fuel your lanters' She recalled the time A ladies hair caught fire from an old product.. Shaking the thought away she set the flyer aside. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
annabanana1014 2084 Share Posted March 20, 2022 Diana Vuiller would be using this new gel on her sword, cleaning it! “Such a beauty now that it is cleaned. I rather like this new product! Well done!” Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeyitsNano 1582 Author Share Posted March 20, 2022 4 minutes ago, PrincessSnowie said: Vespira L. mused the missive with a smile, pondering if she should try to get some for the boutique. Then as she read the part about 'Fuel your lanters' She recalled the time A ladies hair caught fire from an old product.. Shaking the thought away she set the flyer aside. A free gift sample would find its way to Vespira's boutique anyways. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KBR 2046 Share Posted March 20, 2022 The Imperial General Iskander Basrid smiled widely as he imagined his killer new hairstyle Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
tadabug2000 4924 Share Posted March 20, 2022 Lady Johanne Vuiller imagined what Vuillermoz would look like with an aqueduct, scribbling something in a notebook and tucking it away in a mahogany box for safe-keeping. She figured she'd try the gel and if she happened to not like it, maybe she could still pay the Baron to build an aqueduct when she was older. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taketheshot 3834 Share Posted March 20, 2022 Joseph d'Azor purchased a large 60 gallon drum of the gel hauling it back to Azor. "Who knew it could function as window washing fluid!" The Duke smiled, cleaning all of the windows in his greenhouse with the gel so he could enjoy gardening more! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azie 657 Share Posted March 20, 2022 ((3 in one shampoo x 10 !!)) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nectorist 12871 Share Posted March 20, 2022 Bruno "Butch" DeLoria buys several packages of Jonesco Imperial Gel, styling his hair in never-seen-before fashions and trailblazing the Providence hair scene. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yoitsking 11 Share Posted March 20, 2022 Laurence smiled as he used the gel on his sword. "What a fine product, my friend. I can't believe this actually works." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryanark 2738 Share Posted March 21, 2022 Hannes did not think twice about putting the gel in his hair, perhaps this will get rid of the girly curls! "Wait.. Lantern fuel?" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legoclub22 122 Share Posted March 21, 2022 ATTENTION ALL JONES CO. © CUSTOMERS WHO HAVE RECENTLY PURCHASED IMPERIAL GEL ™ THE FOLLOWING WARNINGS ARE ISSUED FOR ALL IMPERIAL GEL PRODUCTS Fire Warning Imperial Gel is highly combustible and should be handled with extreme care and kept away from open flames at all times when not being used as a contained fuel source. To avoid the risk of explosion or uncontrollable burning, do not ignite more than 2 tablespoons of Imperial Gel. Imperial Gel may remain combustible even after it is dry. To avoid the risk of ignition, dried Imperial Gel should be sprayed with large amounts of water. Consumption Warning Imperial Gel may contain animal produce and inorganic ingredients. Imperial Gel is not vegan, vegetarian, organic, or unprocessed. Imperial Gel may cause severe allergic reactions in some individuals. Imperial Gel may cause skin, eye, nose, mouth, throat, and other irritation. For best results, Imperial Gel is advised for external use only. Consumption of Imperial Gel may cause diarrhea, vomiting, dehydration, lightheadedness, bone fatigue, muscle cramps, and gas. Imperial Gel is not food. Adhesion Warning Imperial Gel often becomes extremely sticky when drying. Drying Imperial Gel may be dangerous to pets, wildlife, other animal, and small children. Imperial Gel should be disposed of responsibly by dissolving in water. Imperial Gel should be stored in a cool, dry place within a sealed container. Imperial Gel is not suitable for marine use. Imperial Gel used for fashion purposes must be allowed to dry completely in order to risk unwanted adhesion. With Imperial Gel, less is always more. Be conservative with application of Imperial Gel to prevent disastrous adhesion scenarios. Lubricant Warning Imperial Gel is extremely slippery. Imperial Gel can be hazardous when applied to floors, stairs, ramps, other walking surfaces, or hand rails. Never attempt to traverse a surface covered in Imperial Gel. When used as a lubricant, Imperial Gel should be reapplied several times a day for best results. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrothic 74 Share Posted March 21, 2022 2 hours ago, Legoclub22 said: ATTENTION ALL JONES CO. CUSTOMERS WHO HAVE RECENTLY PURCHASED IMPERIAL GEL THE FOLLOWING WARNINGS ARE ISSUED FOR ALL IMPERIAL GEL PRODUCTS Fire Warning Imperial Gel is highly combustible and should be handled with extreme care and kept away from open flames at all times when not being used as a contained fuel source. To avoid the risk of explosion or uncontrollable burning, do not ignite more than 2 tablespoons of Imperial Gel. Gel may remain combustible even after it is dry. To avoid the risk of ignition, dried Imperial Gel should be sprayed with large amounts of water. Consumption Warning Imperial Gel may contain animal produce and inorganic ingredients. Imperial Gel is not vegan, vegetarian, organic, or unprocessed. Imperial Gel may cause severe allergic reactions in some individuals. Imperial Gel may cause skin, eye, nose, mouth, throat, and other irritation. For best results, Imperial Gel is advised for external use only. Consumption of Imperial Gel may cause diarrhea, vomiting, dehydration, lightheadedness, bone fatigue, muscle cramps, and gas. Imperial Gel is not food. Adhesion Warning Imperial Gel often becomes extremely sticky when drying. Drying Imperial Gel may be dangerous to pets, wildlife, other animal, and small children. Imperial Gel should be disposed of responsibly by dissolving in water. Imperial Gel should be stored in a cool, dry place within a sealed container. Imperial Gel is not suitable for marine use. Imperial Gel used for fashion purposes must be allowed to dry completely in order to risk unwanted adhesion. With Imperial Gel, less is always more. Be conservative with application of Imperial Gel to prevent disastrous adhesion scenarios. Lubricant Warning Imperial Gel is extremely slippery. Imperial Gel can be hazardous when applied to floors, stairs, ramps, other walking surfaces, or hand rails. Never attempt to traverse a surface covered in Imperial Gel. When used as a lubricant, Imperial Gel should be reapplied several times a day for best results. "FEARMONGERING AND SLANDER! The inquisition wont get away with this, not on my watch!" JONESCO PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: THERE IS NO DANGER WHATSOEVER IN USING IMPERIAL GEL! FACT: ALL HAIR GEL IS FLAMMABLE FACT: ALL LUBRICANT IS SLIPPERY FACT: ALL GLUE STICKS FACT: IMPERIAL GEL IS COMPLETELY SAFE TO EAT FACT: JONESCO IMPERIAL GEL HAS NO UNIQUE DANGERS THAT DID NOT ALREADY EXIST IN PRODUCTS OF THE SAME CALIBER In the end, it is up to the consumer to weigh the risks of the product they use, and JonesCO Imperial Gel has no additional dangers than any other hair, food, lubricant, or cleaning product, and in comparison, is far safer than any other product on their own, let alone combined.Edit: Spoiler Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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