Carrot-Topped Biggun Thieves (Nae A Big Deal) (Also Sorry)

[TopazTheMagi 68]

Residents of Bywater may find a letter in their aviaries that reads...

To my fellow Bywater residents- a pair of thieves has been spotted in Bywater! ...Kind of. Fellows tried makin' off with a fishin' rod- nae borrowin' it, stealin' it and runnin' outta town. Dunno if they took anythin' else. They both 'ad orange hair, an' looked a little on the wee side for bigguns, an' they were brothers of a sor'. They looked awful like each other. One was called Jasper, didn't catch the other one's name. An' one had rather dirty clothes... yeah, even comin' from me.

Now I woul' probably be more miffed soundin' if I hadn't taken the immediate option while panickin' and whacked the one on the head with a shovel. Which I feel bad abou', 'cause I only realized after th' fact that they were prob'ly jus' lookin' fer a way t' catch fish. Said somebody sent 'em? Doin' wha' they were tol'? (And said tha' someone sic'ed 'em on us for us bein' wicked or th' like.) I'm nae sure if I shoul' believe them. I gave 'em some a' Billy Bob's potatoes 'cause they mighta needed 'em. Go' the rod back bu' I still feel bad.

If they're spotted again... next time maybe corner 'em withou' violence? Give 'em some carin' and wellbein' an' the like, try an' sell 'em on nae stealin' stuff? I'm gonna go pray t' Knox for forgiveness. Damn my violent upbringin'.

Sorry 'f this be a bit of a confessionary rather than a warnin'. Be on the lookout fer a pair a' bright-orange brothers, an' if ye see 'em, er, prob'ly introduce 'em to Halflin' hospitatlity better than I did.

Yours shamefully,

-Topaz Mireburrow

P.S. If ye orange lads get ahold a' this somehow, er... sorry. :(

[NotEvilAtAll 9930]

Mimosa Applefoot, local halfling and Mayor of Bywater, chuckles "Ah well Topaz, 't 'appens some'imes. Everehbodeh makes mis'akes (excep' fer Thain Cyris o' course) ahn yeh dun 'ave ter feel bad fer nuffin'"

[TopazTheMagi 68]

Another letter? What's this...

Everyone, the thieves have been dealt with! Er, nae like tha'. Biggun lady came (sweetheart) an' recruited 'em to a sailor ship. Dunno if child labor be legal bu' they've got more of a home now than they did, an' they shoul' be buggin' us a bit less- an' their tomfoolery's goin' someplace in a positive direction. If I see 'em again I'll let ye know! Won't be bashin' em again though. Fool I am.

Thanks, and see ye!

Yours truly,

Topaz Mireburrow

[NotEvilAtAll 9930]

1 hour ago, TopazTheMagi said:

Another letter? What's this...

Everyone, the thieves have been dealt with! Er, nae like tha'. Biggun lady came (sweetheart) an' recruited 'em to a sailor ship. Dunno if child labor be legal bu' they've got more of a home now than they did, an' they shoul' be buggin' us a bit less- an' their tomfoolery's goin' someplace in a positive direction. If I see 'em again I'll let ye know! Won't be bashin' em again though. Fool I am.

Thanks, and see ye!

Yours truly,

Topaz Mireburrow

"Child labor beh legal, nay worries" replies the Mayor Mimosa Applefoot.