Notic 941 Share Posted January 20 The Cobbler's Goblet, Issue I The Weefolk's Choice Herald This Week's News! Land Sharks Attack! Huge Boom in Pumpkin Stocks Pecan Pie: Delicious or Deadly? Land Sharks Attack! Written by Griff Peregrin An illustration of the scene of the crime, by Bingo Bufferbottom. Early this morning, several farmers going about their regular commute came across a horrifying sight! The severed head of an unidentifiable halfling, as well as several dismembered appendages, lay strewn across the grass directly outside of the shoreside wheatfield. After assessing the body, the farmers recognized several bite marks that seemed to be the cause of the injury. One halfling sailor has spoken about this matter, anonymously testifying: "This can nay be anythin' other than a shark, I'd reckon. The bite marks match up perfectly. Must be a big feller, too- they're huge!" Furthermore, a strange sign also seemed to appear around the same time as the death of the farmer. Nailed upon a wooden post by the corpse now reads "BEWARE ARKAKNOX" in large lettering. Whoever this "Arkaknox" figure is, our reporters have surmised that it must be an aspect of Arugula that is now haunting the wheatfield, praying on the innocent. Next week, we will be featuring a private interview with Sheriff Nimblefoot on this matter, so stay tuned! Huge Boom in Pumpkin Stocks Written by Griff Peregrin An illustration of the Dunwen Pumpkin Fields, by Bingo Bufferbottom. Our financial analysts on the Halfling Agromarket have predicted a 27.5% upturn in the value of pumpkin supplies going into The Grand Harvest. It is believed this is due to the construction of the newly built Knox statue on the outskirts of Dunfarthing, with a vast number of pumpkins having been taken out of standard circulation. Pumpkin farmers and aficionados be advised. Pecan Pie: Delicious or Deadly? Written by Griff Peregrin An illustration of the Dunfarthing Bakery, by Bingo Bufferbottom. Many Halflings love the taste of delicious Pecan Pie, but is this sweet treat actually safe for consumption? New studies have shown that the halfling obesity epidemic is widely influenced by the consumption of sweet treats such as pecan pie. Halflings who die from gluttonous habits have been documented by bakers as having consumed up to sixteen pecan pies weekly, which may have been the primary cause of death. Studies are still being conducted into this topic, but all halflings are advised to avoid eating the pies until then. Stay Wise, Dunwen! Written by Griff Peregrin, Illustrations by Bingo Bufferbottom Published by the Peregrin Family 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotEvilAtAll 9943 Share Posted January 20 Mimosa Applefoot smiles "Good t'ae see t'ah ol' publishin' spirit is back wif us!" 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notic 941 Author Share Posted January 20 1 minute ago, NotEvilAtAll said: Mimosa Applefoot smiles "Good t'ae see t'ah ol' publishin' spirit is back wif us!" Spoiler The Hay Herald is my greatest inspiration 🙏 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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