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Edict of Porescorça


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Edict of Porescorça

Official and Unrepealable Edict on the Regulations regarding Preparation, Service, and Storage of Food and Beverages and Other Concerns of the Crown on the Balianese Cultural Traditions of Alchemical, Culinary, Brewing, and Food-Related Mercantile Pursuits.

 

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The 1st of Lothar’s Gift of 103 B.A

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Food and drink are the essence of life provided to us by Mighty God. It is therefore within the proper dispensation of regulation from the Crown to establish the best standards for this necessity in the lives of both commoners and nobles alike. Therefore, it is by this edict, our good judgment, and exceptional vigilance that we do decree the following:

 

SECTION 1: Edible Substance Classification and Proper Handling and Preparation as Prescribed by the Crown

 

(A) The proper categorization and classification of edible substances are hereby mandated for the sustenance of the Kingdom of Balian.

 

(B) Those substances which are not expressly listed must abide by the handling and preparation standard of the listed item most closely associated with it unless special dispensation has been given by the Procurator, with confirmation found in a super majority from a national plebiscite.

 

(C) The following are considered the broad categories of substances, both legal and illegal, within the Kingdom of Balian.

 

   (I) In the Classification of Flora

 

    (a) Common Herbaceous Vegetables

 

    (i) Dates of the Palm:

 

Handling: Harvest dates when plump and slightly wrinkled. Avoid bruised ones.

 

Preparation: Pit and chop dates. Stuffing must be pre-cooked before adding to dates.

 

    (ii) Cactus Pads:

 

Handling: Choose young pads, free of blemishes. Remove spines carefully.

 

Preparation: All grilled cactus pads must be sliced before serving. All raw pads must be coated in olive oil to reduce the probability of medical acidity issues.

 

    (iii) Amaranth Greens:

 

Handling: Harvest young leaves for tenderness.

 

Preparation: Cannot be served raw or used as garnish unless the establishment has obtained an Amaranth Green Card from the Procurator.

 

    (iii) Sea Asparagus:

 

Handling: Pick young shoots to ensure tenderness.

 

Preparation: Cannot be served alongside meat or stored within the same building as meat. Most establishments have a sea asparagus storage area outside the walls of their building.

 

  (iv) Samphire:

 

Handling: Harvest young, crisp stems.

 

Preparation: Must be cooked a minimum of one hour before service. Two hours is required if one or more of the guest(s) is of ducal status or higher.

 

  (v) Watercress:

 

Handling: Select fresh, vibrant bunches.

 

Preparation: Rinse thoroughly and clean using a brush of horse hair.

 

  (vi) Fennel:

 

Handling: Opt for bulbs with no signs of wilting.

 

Preparation: Oil used with fennel must come from a local sourced fennel farm. Imported fennel is not only dangerous to Balian stomachs but the cultural tradition of fennel farming.

 

  (vii) Chicory (Catalayna):

 

Handling: Harvest young leaves for tenderness.

 

Preparation: If blanched the water must be salted. The water can only be salted after having boiled.

 

  (viii) Artichokes:

 

Handling: Pick tight, compact globes.

 

Preparation: May only be served if steamed, grilled, or braised and tested for poison by a chef.

 

 (b) Common Arboreal Fruits

 

    (i) Olives:

 

Handling: Select plump, firm olives, avoiding those with signs of fermentation.

 

Preparation: Olives must undergo a minimum brining period of two weeks, adhering to daily saltings. Producers are required to monitor the skin color of the olives and report them to the Procurator once per annum in their Olive Production Quality Report (OPQR)

 

    (ii) Citrus Fruits (Oranges, Lemons, Limes):

 

Handling: Choose fruits with vibrant colors and smooth skins.

 

Preparation: Citrus fruits are subject to a standardized washing and must be coated in a thick coat of wax if not sold in seven days of picking. Citrus zest extraction must involve the use of approved zesting tools and an individual who has passed their Citrus Zest Extraction Certification Program (CZECP).

 

    (iii) Figs:

 

Handling: Harvest ripe figs, ensuring they yield to gentle pressure.

 

Preparation: Sun-drying or oven-drying figs must comply with regulated temperature and duration guidelines. Nets must be hung over any drying process to ward off insects.

 

    (iv) Pomegranate:

 

Handling: Select heavy fruits with unblemished skins.

 

Preparation: Seed extraction of seeds must come after washing but before blanching. All seeds must be blanched in a separate pot than other, whole, pomegranates.

 

    (v) Almonds:

 

Handling: Harvest almonds when the outer hull splits naturally.

 

Preparation: There are no preparation requirements for almonds, although complimentary salt is a standard amongst Balianese citizens when purchasing from a merchant.

 

    (vi) Chestnuts:

 

Handling: Pick chestnuts with unbroken shells.

 

Preparation: Handling chestnuts requires gloves made of calf or sow leather.

 

    (vii) Cherries:

 

Handling: Pick cherries with stems intact and vibrant color.

 

Preparation: Cherries must have their pits included when sold. Pre-pitted cherries are considered a form of fraud, subject to the standard legal penalties.

 

    (viii) Apples:

 

Handling: Select apples with intact skins and vibrant colors.

 

Preparation: Apples that are peeled must have their skins fed to pigs owned by the establishment or donated to a local orphanage within five days of their production.

 

    (ix) Plums:

 

Handling: Pick plums when they yield slightly to pressure.

 

Preparation: Plums must be pitted before being sold. Unpitted plums are considered a form of fraud, subject to the standard legal penalties.

 

    (x) Quinces:

 

Handling: Harvest quinces when they attain a golden-yellow hue.

 

Preparation: Quinces must be simmered once by the producer and twice by the establishment owner before being considered safe to eat. At least one bag of steam must be captured per dozen quinces, rounded up if less than a dozen. The steam must be released in a designated Quince Steam Release Area (QSRA) forty feet from any standing structure or domesticated crop growth.

 

 (c) Common Root Vegetables

 

    (i) Carrots:

 

Handling: Harvest carrots when the tops are vibrant and the roots show a rich color.

 

Preparation: Carrots must be washed in salted water (50-50 ratio) before being sold. They then must be washed a second time with water that is salted at a 75-25 salt to water ratio.

 

    (ii) Potatoes:

 

Handling: Harvest potatoes once the plants have withered, ensuring proper curing.

 

Preparation: The service or eating of a raw potato in the presence of nobility is considered an attempt on their life.

 

   (iii) Sweet Potatoes:

 

Handling: Harvest sweet potatoes when the foliage begins to yellow, indicating maturity.

 

Preparation: Producers must mark each sweet potato with a stamp bearing their visage and last name. These stamps can be purchased from the Procurator for 150 minas.

 

   (iv) Beetroots:

 

Handling: Harvest beetroots when they reach the desired size, ensuring the removal of foliage.

 

Preparation: Dull knives are required when peeling beetroots. Sharp knives should only be used to cut, not peel, this root.

 

   (v) Radishes:

 

Handling: Harvest radishes when they reach the desired size, ensuring crispness.

 

Preparation: Radishes must be marked as “IMPURE” if they have not been blessed by a Canonist priest. If they have been blessed they must be marked as “PURE.”

 

   (vi) Turnips:

 

Handling: Harvest turnips when they reach a suitable size, ensuring the removal of foliage.

 

Preparation: Turnips must be boiled in a pot that holds exactly two calves heads worth of water. If an inspector cannot put two legs into the pot, and the pot does not go to his knees, this is considered a violation.

 

   (vii) Garlic:

 

Handling: Harvest garlic bulbs once the tops have dried, ensuring proper curing.

 

Preparation: Garlic must be stored with other garlic. A single bulb of garlic is considered an offense to the Crown and is punishable by death.

 

   (viii) Onion:

 

Handling: Harvest onions once the tops have withered and dried.

 

Preparation: Onions must have their stems removed before the rest of the vegetable can be cut, diced, or chopped. The knife that is used to chop onions must have a red painted handle so workers are aware it is the Designated Onion Knife (DOK).

 

   (I) In the Classification of Fauna

 

    (a) Common Fowl and Poultry

 

    (i) Chicken:

 

Handling: Select chickens based on feather color. This is what determines the taste of the meat. Store with salt if not used within seven days of slaughter.

 

Preparation: Slaughtering and defeather must be conducted prior to sale. All chicken feathers must be surrendered to the Constable on the fourth day of every Saint’s Week. Meat should not bleed once cooked and should feel as dry and as hot as desert sand.

 

    (ii) Duck:

 

Handling: Ducks who have eaten their own excrement should not be consumed. Those who have eaten excrement from another duck or animal are sanitary.

 

Preparation: Duck should be cooked whole, without disembowelment. If disembowelment happens before the duck is cooked the establishment must denote the duck as “lesser duck.”

 

    (iii) Goose:

 

Handling: Geese should always be imported, preferably from somewhere north of Balian. If they must be domestic geese they must be labeled as “Balianese Water Children.”

 

Preparation: Balinese geese feathers cannot be exported beyond the borders of the Kingdom. Those caught smuggling these items will be subject to the loss of one year’s wealth. An exception for geese quills is  allowed but may not exceed 5 quills per person per Saint’s month of time abroad.

 

    (iv) Pheasant:

 

Handling: Pheasants with even feather patterns should be sold for twice as much as pheasants that lack this trait.

 

Preparation: Slaughtering, defeathering, and eviscerating of a pheasant must take place ten paces from food preparation areas. The Designated Onion Knife (DOK) can be used for this process but must be washed in ale before being used on other products.

 

    (v) Quail:

 

Handling: Producers of quail cannot raise any four-legged animals on their property. Guts from a quail may be resold and labeled as “QUAIL SCRAP.” The price of quail scrap cannot exceed 3 minas.

 

Preparation: Butter or oil can be used to fry quail but the two may never be combined.

 

    (vi) Fowl:

 

Handling: Fowl must have their head attached to the body by a string when sold. Breeders may not mix feather patterns.

 

Preparation: Cooked fowl may not be sold by street vendors after nightfall. Raw fowl may only be sold between the high noon and nightfall.

 

    (vii) Partridge:

 

Handling: All partridges must be raised on a farm with exactly one pear tree, or be labeled as “LESSER PARTRIDGE.” Producers must only feed partridges nut or nut grinds or their product be labeled as “ZERO-NUT PARTRIDGE.”

 

Preparation: The grease from a partridge may not be discarded within the city walls.

 

    (viii) Squab:

 

Handling: Wild squab is the only permissible type of squab that can be eaten or sold.

 

Preparation: Squab caught via a trap must be lightly fried. Squab shot with an arrow must be deep fried. The depth of the oil in the latter case must be two thumb-lengths deep and the oil must be palm or olive.

 

    (ix) Grouse:

 

Handling: The selling of grouse is illegal.

 

Preparation: The eating of grouse is punishable by a three year exile.

 

    (x) Poussin:

 

Handling: Poussin should be purchased from a producer who can count on the number of fingers how many weeks the bird was alive for before being slaughtered. If the producer has less than ten fingers he can ask for another’s hands to continue the counting process up to ten.

 

Preparation: Poussin must be boiled from the sunrise to sunset before it is edible. Establishments who cook the bird for less than this time are subject to a fine of 100 minas.

 

    (xi) Silkie Chicken:

 

Handling: Silkie chickens may only be slaughtered when the bird’s top feathers have raised one thumb length above its skull. It must be defeathered by the purchaser.

 

Preparation: All silkie chicken must be served with the accompanying head feathers somewhere on the plate. Failure to do so is fraud as the chicken could be of any origin without the feathered proof.

 

    (xii) Game Hen:

 

Handling: Hens that are caught on a hunt must be registered with the Constable before entering into the city.

 

Preparation: Slaughtering and defeather must be conducted prior to sale. Meat should not bleed once cooked and should feel as dry and as hot as desert sand.

 

    (xiii) Ostrich and Emu:

 

Handling: Farfolk descendants are the only descendants who can produce, slaughter, and distribute this poultry. All others will forfeit a foot, to be fed to an ostrich.

 

Preparation: Both are to be cooked until the inside is easily cut with a dull knife. If dried, salt may not be included.

 

 (b) Common Four-Legged Beasts

 

  (i) The Crown magnanimously places no limitations on the production, sale, distribution, preparation, consumption, or defecation of products derived from or exclusively made from four-legged beasts unless otherwise specified in this document.

 

 (c) Common Aquatic Life

 

    (i) Salmon:

 

Handling: Select salmon by gently stroking their scales to assess freshness.

 

Preparation: Salmon must be danced upon by at least three skilled chefs before fileting. Cook it until the flesh is no longer pink but yellow.

 

    (ii) Prawn:

 

Handling: A producer who cannot hold a conversation with a purchaser for at least one hundred heartbeats should be considered unsociable and receive half of the pay they desire for this product.

 

Preparation: Singing when cooking prawn is tradition, but not required. If a chef is angry the prawn should be cooked until the top touches the tail. If the chef is happy the product must be cooked to a perfect “C” shape.

 

    (iii) Clams:

 

Handling: A clam that cannot be dropped on the floor is to be considered unbuyable. Salt should be provided upon purchase unless the producer has a relative within the Armada.

 

Preparation: Steaming clams is the only method which can be conducted on the streets. All other methods require a kitchen with at least two chefs.

 

    (iv) Octopus:

 

Handling: Octopus that has been brought to shore must be sold for ten mina the first day with a reduction of two mina per succeeding day.

 

Preparation: Seaweed must be used to wrap octopus unless it is being placed into a stew or cooked with a method that cannot be reasonably used alongside seaweed wrap.

 

    (v) Mussels:

 

Handling: Mussels which have under 40 rings to their shell cannot be eaten and must be returned to the ocean.

 

Preparation: Cooking mussels over fire requires the fire to be made of imported Haeseni redwood or otherwise they must be sold as “LESSER MUSSELS.”

 

    (vi) Lobster:

 

Handling: Lobsters which are caught at sea are allowed to be sold within the city walls. Lobsters that are raised must be sold outside the city walls.

 

Preparation: Lobsters may only be killed if they have first been soothed to sleep. If they remain unsoothed by music or rocking one must pluck out their eyes and garnish the final product with them. There is no specified time for an individual to attempt to sooth a lobster, so as long as some effort has been made to put a lobster to sleep the individual is devoid of all personal responsibility seen within this code.

 

    (vii) Sea Urchin:

 

Handling: Sea urchin cannot be consumed or sold within the confines of the city.

 

Preparation: Nobles may not be served or consume sea urchin. To do so results in their immediate abdication.

 

    (viii) Eel:

 

Handling: Eels whose eyes have turned milky white after being pulled from the ocean are to be discarded and not sold.

 

Preparation: Fresh eel must be sold within five days of arrival on shore. Dried eel is allowed to be sold for seven saint’s months as long as the producer included spices during its curing process. Otherwise, the number of saint’s months is reduced to three.

 

    (ix) Squid:

 

Handling: Squid ink must be sold at a separate stall from the edible flesh of a squid.

 

Preparation: Squid ink may not be sold as writing ink. Squid ink may be used in Illatian pasta but can only be sold as street food is drink is offered, free of charge, with the purchase of the dish.

 

   (II) In the Consideration of Unconventional Edible Substances

 

   (a) Common Fungi and Foraged Herbs

 

    (i) Truffles and other Unspecified Forest Fungi:

 

Handling: Harvest carefully, using specialized tools to avoid damaging the delicate mycelium.

 

Preparation: These products must undergo cleaning and brushing to remove half of the soil. The remaining half is considered food safe dirt as long as it is dampened.

 

    (ii) Oregano:

 

Handling: Harvest oregano by snipping the stems, leaving enough for regrowth.

 

Preparation: Oregano must be air-dried by a body of water if sold to an establishment. Private consumers may buy fresh oregano in any condition. Storage of oregano must be near the serving area and not by the preparation stations.

 

    (iii) Rosemary:

 

Handling: Damaging the main stem of a rosemary plant that is owned by a noble or his close relatives is considered battery on the personage of the noble. If a rosemary is growing on another noble’s land but claimed by someone else the guilt for the battery lies with the plant owner.

 

Preparation: Rosemary that is stored near heat must be in a clay pot. Rosemary that is stored away from heat must be stored in a metal pot. Rosemary that is stored at room temperature must be discarded every two saint’s weeks.

 

    (iv) Thyme:

 

Handling: Harvest thyme by cutting sprigs, leaving enough foliage for regrowth. Balinese thyme must be labeled as “GREATER THYME” and imported thyme as “LESSER THYME.”

 

Preparation: Burning thyme for non-culinary uses is considered an example of witchcraft and is banned by the law. Exemption can be sought from local canonist priests.

 

    (v) Sage:

 

Handling: Sage must be sold in bundles no bigger than a man’s clenched fist and no smaller than a babe’s clenched fist.

 

Preparation: Fresh sage should always be shredded, not chopped. Any use of sage in cooking must be expressly stated on a sign outside the establishment. Private consumers need not abide by any of the preparation rules for sage.

 

   (a) Edible Insects

 

    (i) Crickets:

 

Handling: Collect crickets in their adult stage, ensuring they are free from diseases or abnormalities. Crickets must be air dried before being sold.

 

Preparation: Crickets may be dipped in chocolate but then must bear the label of “CHOCORICKETS.”

 

    (ii) Grasshoppers:

 

Handling: The production of grasshoppers for sale is forbidden.

 

Preparation: The only part of a grasshopper which may be eaten, after being caught in the wild, is the legs. All other parts must be discarded.

 

    (iii) Ants:

 

Handling: Black ants must be harvested at night and cannot be harvested within the walls of the city.

 

Preparation: Ant must undergo cleaning and brushing to remove half of the soil. The remaining half is considered food safe dirt as long as it is dampened.

 

    (iv) Cricket Flour:

 

Handling: Collect crickets in their adult stage, ensuring they are raised in an area with readily available meat. Grinding of crickets into flour may not take place on an odd number day of the year. Cricket flour must be triple milled, each milling being two days apart. Cricket flour cannot be sold to private consumers.

 

Preparation: Products containing cricket flour may not be sold on any holy day or day of celebration. Merchants caught breaking this shall be subject to paying a fine of 100 mina to the bishop nearest their residence.

 

SECTION 2: Preservation Protocols

 

(1) Approved Methods of Prolongation and Preservation

 

(A) Any method listed henceforth in this section does not apply to any substance, both legal and illegal, listed in Section 1 of the Edict of Porescorça.

 

(B) Approved Methods of Prolongation and Preservation

 

   (I) Salting

 

   (a) Salt used in the preservation of food must be from official producers of salt, approved by the Procurator of Balian.

 

   (b) Salt from the Kingdom of Hanseti-Ruska is approved if it tastes similar enough for at least seven of ten people to not notice the difference.

 

   (II) Smoking

 

   (a) Meat smoked must be smoked using the smoke produced by a hookah.

 

   (a) Other edible products that are smoked must be smoked using birch or cedar wood. Oak wood in the preservation of food is strictly forbidden as it offends the refined tastes of the Balianese.

 

   (III) Drying

 

   (a) Drying must be done via direct exposure to sunlight, otherwise the product must be marked as “ARTIFICIALLY DRIED” and described with the adjective “FAKE” in any advertisements.

 

   (III) Fermenting

 

   (a) Fermentation of beverages is not, and will not, ever be the prerogative of the Crown.

 

   (b) Fermentation of food requires the building in which the preservation takes place to be far enough away from all cities and urban centers that it would take a refined gentleman of the Crownlands five to seven hours to ride on the back of a donkey.

 

   (c) Failure to abide by the previous prevision is subject to the removal of all hair from a person's body, at the expense of the violator.

 

(B) Illicit Methods of Prolongation and Preservation

 

   (I) Pickling

 

   (a) Pickling is expressly forbidden as it is a foreign practice.

 

   (b) Expecting mothers are allowed to purchase pickled products but must produce a prescription for such products from an apothecary with at least four years experience or a midwife with two years of experience.

 

   (c) All royals are allowed to sell, produce, consume, and purchased pickled products without being in violation of this law.

 

   (d) Violation of the previous provision will result in neutering of a minimum of five goats from the violator’s property. If no goats are present or available, payment can be made in the form of the second-born son or third-born daughter.

 

SECTION 3: Additional Guidelines

 

(1) Alchemical Endeavors

 

(a) The Magistrate of Balian shall be responsible for all Alchemical licenses issued by the Crown.

 

(b) Alchemical licenses shall only be required for alchemists practicing within the city walls.

 

(c) Alchemical licenses shall only be required for alchemists who have at least one parent not born in Balian

 

(d) Alchemical licenses shall only be required for alchemists who do not serve the state or the crown.

 

(e) Alchemical licenses shall only be required for alchemical workshops, facilities, or stores that can fit more than twenty people comfortably inside its walls.

 

(f) If the alchemical workshop, facility, or store lacks four walls it is exempt from the requirement of a license.

 

(2) Culinary Endeavors

 

(a) Culinary facilities or services must have at least one basin for washing dishes. This basin must be the same used for hand washing. Raw chicken can be added to this basin if the facility has been officially established and registered with the Crown for at least thirteen years.

 

(b) The Culinary Guild of Balian shall be responsible for the preservation, certification, recording, administration, and defining of culinary practices, dishes, and traditions of the Balianese people.

 

(c) The Culinary Guild of Balian shall be patronized by the most senior male line of the Novellen family, even if they are in exile.

 

(d) The Culinary Guild of Balian shall be led by the Goramunda, who shall attend to the needs of the Royal Family of Balian.

 

(e) The Goramunda must not leave the Kingdom of Balian under the penalty of death, unless in case of service alongside the ruler, armies, navies, or forces of the Kingdom of Balian.

 

(3) Brewed Endeavors

 

(a) The Crown shall not endeavor to restrict brewing endeavors within the walls of a city.

 

(b) The Crown shall endeavor to restrict brewing endeavors owned by foreigners.

 

(c) The Crown shall not endeavor to restrict brewing endeavors from family businesses, with at least one generation of ownership being deceased.

 

SECTION 4: Storage and Lagering Procedures

 

(1) Surterranean Storage

 

(a) Storage of foods above ground is permitted for common households, not to exceed ten residents within a single building.

 

(2) Subterranean Storage

 

(a) Storage of foods below ground is permitted for all nobility.

 

(b) Storage of foods below ground is permitted for households exceeding ten residents within a single building.

 

(b) Subterranean storage must separate grains from vegetables by at least ten paces, meats from flour by at least fifteen paces, and beverages and water from any form of foodstuff by at least five paces.

 

(3) Communal Storage

 

(a) Communal granaries may not be constructed without permission from the Crown or the Crown’s ministers.

 

(b) Communal storage may not be violated or abused by persons, under penalty of exile.

 

(c) Communal storage must employ around the granary at least one cat for every twenty people depositing. Failure to abide by this provision makes the administrator of the facility guilty of fraud.

 

SECTION 5: Handling of Exotic Spices

 

(1) Procurement and Importation

 

(a) Most spices can be procured by Balianese from Balianese vendors, as the climate of Our land often lends itself to the production of such luxuries.

 

(b) For spices that cannot be bought from Balianese vendors a tax of 7.6392% will be applied and rounded up, never down, to the nearest multiple of fifty.

 

(c) Tea and coffee are exempt from all duties and taxes, so long as they are not imported from a nation beyond a traveling distance of thirty five days.

 

(d) Foreign vendors selling spices in the Kingdom of Balian must denote their status as a foreign merchant by painting the letter “F” on their face. The letter must be the size of the vendor’s hand. If the vendor has no hands or is missing at least one arm they are exempt from this law.

 

(e) Sauces, syrups, and soups that contain exotic spices in their ingredients shall still be treated, taxed, and restricted in accordance with this section.

 

(f) The following is the list of spices the Crown deems to be “exotic” and hence falling within this category

 

(i) Cardamom

(ii) Cinnamon

(iii) Products or Parts of the Cinnamon Flower

(iv) Clove

(v) Cubeb

(vi) Galangal (taxed doubly if grains are exceptionally colorful)

(vii) Ginger

(viii) Grains of Paradisio

(ix) Mastic

(x) Nard

(xi) Nutmeg

(xii) Mace

(xiii) Pepper (in all variants - white, black, long, etc)

(xiv) Saffron

(xv) Non-Cane Sugar

(xvi) Sumac

(xvii) Spikenard

(xviii) Coriander (and all relatives of the parsley leaf, to include parsley)

(xix) Bulbs of Garlic (excluding loose cloves)

(xx) Anise

(xxi) Caraway

(xxii) Mustard (excluding seeds)

(xxiii) Turmeric

(xxiv) Zedoary

(xxv) Hyssop

(xxvi) Saunders

(xxvii) Calendula

(xxviii) Dandelion

(xxix) Hairy Bittercress (those with all hair removed shall be doubly taxed)

(xxx) Plantain

(xxxi) Purslane

(xxxii) Wood Sorrel (selling in more than a handful is attempted murder)

(xxxiii) Ambergris (for non-perfume purposes)

 

(2) Utilization

 

(a) Dishes that contain more than a thumb’s worth of exotic spices must declare that to the customer before service. This rule is exempt for chefs in service to a household.

 

(b) Dishes deemed to be extravagant (those which contain more than seven thumb’s worth) during a time when the Kingdom of Balian is in a declared state of war shall be forbidden to be made, under penalty of a fine equivalent to one year’s wage of a modest merchant.

 

(c) All dishes served to nobility while dining with royalty must have one less thumb’s worth of spice included. If the spice is overall less than one thumb’s worth, the provider of the food shall reduce the noble’s spice by one-third that of the royal dish.

 

(d) Feasts, royally hosted events, or affairs where more than five people are served are exempt from the previous law (Section 5 - Subsection 2 - Provision C).

 

(e) Spices used in medicinal practices are exempt from duties and tax. However, an apothecary, medicineman, medicine woman, or otherwise entitled healer must provide proof of necessity to the Procurator if purchasing more than two stone bags worth of exotic spices from foreign merchants per annum.

 

(3) Quality Control

 

(a) Exotic spices are only deemed acceptable for sale if they possess less than four bugs per two stone bag worth of spice. If the total weight of the products lies below two stones, the spices may only contain two or less bugs.

 

(b) All spice deemed to be infested, as per Section 5 - Subsection 3 - Provision A, shall be confiscated by the Crown and destroyed.

 

(c) All domestic merchants who are found to have attempted to sell tainted exotic spices (containing more than four bugs per two stone bag-worth of product or two bugs if the total product weight is below two stones) shall be guilty of fraud.

 

(d) All foreign merchants who are found to have attempted to sell tainted exotic spices (containing more than four bugs per two stone bag-worth of product or two bugs if the total product weight is below two stones) shall be guilty of impugning the cuisine and culinary culture of Balian, and shall be banished for a year’s time.

 

SECTION 6: Clerical, Cultural, or Guild-Based Dietary Restrictions

 

(1) Clerical Restrictions

 

(a) The Crown differs to the Church of the Canon and His Holiness, the High Pontiff, in determining all clerical restrictions.

 

(b) Members of the clergy are not required to follow any of the laws set forth in this Edict, though they may not perpetuate, aid, or encourage illicit activities as defined by this Edict.

 

(2) Cultural Restrictions

 

(a) Qalasheen who are unknowingly served pork products or food containing pork shall reserve the right to sue the provider for a maximum monetary value equivalent to a week’s wages.

 

(b) Illatians and their familiar businesses are the sole producer of wheat-based pasta products that may label those products as “authentic.” Violators of this provision are to be fined the monetary value equivalent to two week’s wages. All fines shall be donated by the Crown to the Illatian community to support after-school bucketball athletic programs.

 

(c) Preserved products produced in the Kingdom of Hanseti-Ruska or any land in which snow lies consistently on the ground are to be labeled as “NORD.” Failure to abide by this provision will result in the exile of the merchant from the Kingdom of Balian for a year, under penalty of amputation of one limb. If the merchant is debt-free, he may choose the limb. If not, the debtors may choose.

 

(d) Products from Savoy, Savoyards, or any reformed nation which bears the mantle, symbol, or styles of the Principality of Savoy shall be labeled as “CONTAMINATED.” Violators of this provision will be executed by being drowned in honey.

 

(e) Culinary products from the families or nations descended from the Li-Ren people must be sold for a rate set by the Procurator.

 

(f) Any culinary good, food, food-related product, or otherwise mentioned item in this Edict that is labeled in Flexio will be taxed an additional 3.9862% and can only be sold in the third and seventh month of every year.

 

(g) Any culinary good, food, food-related product, or otherwise mentioned item in this Edict that is labeled in Balinese will result in a tax rebate of 0.0147%.

 

(h) Any culinary good, food, food-related product, or otherwise mentioned item in this Edict that is not labeled in Flexio or Balianese (all other languages) will be taxed an additional 3.47111%.

 

(3) Guild-Based Restrictions

 

(a) In accordance with the Bakers Guild of Portoregne, all food that is described as “sweets,” “desserts,” “pastries,” or otherwise recognized variants, according to a judge who has a beard, must ensure that pure Balianese sugar is the sole sweetener used during production.

 

(b) In accordance with the Butchers Guild of Portoregne, all mea that is described as “quality,” “superior,” “excellent,” “well-bred,” or otherwise recognized variants, according to a judge who has a beard, must ensure the originating animal was only fed with Balianese grass.

 

SECTION 7: Repeal and Implementation

 

(1) Implementation

 

(a) All rules, laws, provisions, and stipulations set forth in this document are to take effect immediately, even if otherwise indicated within that provision.

 

(b) Those found in violation of these laws are expressly forbidden from using a lack of time or notice to correct the issue, as the Crown deems these practices to be customary and should have been followed before the publication of this Edict.

 

(c) Those who use the defense written above shall forfeit their right to a trial and pay the Crown a minimum amount in equivalency to a year’s wage of a public servant, as to be determined by the Procurator, in excess of any punishment prescribed in the violated provisions.

 

(2) Repeal

 

(a) This law shall only be repealable after Our death, explicitly the death of Queen Sybille I of Balian.

 

(b) This law shall only be repealed by the hand and seal of a future reigning Queen of Balian who has golden hair, blue eyes, a club foot, and exactly seven teeth remaining in their mouth.

 

(c) Any of Our descendants or subjects who violate this provision (Section 7, Subsection 2) or attempt, in any way, to repeal this Edict shall be immediately guilty of treason and shall be sentenced to death by starvation.

 

(d) Any of Our descendants or subjects who violate this provision (Section 7, Subsection 2) or attempt, in any way, to repeal this Edict shall immediately forfeit and vacate the Throne, Crown, and Scepter of Balian or any claim they hold on the Throne, Crown, Scepter, Title, Lands, or Subjects of Balian.

 

(e) Any of Our descendants or subjects who violate this provision (Section 7, Subsection 2), or attempt, in any way, to repeal this Edict shall immediately be removed from all lines of succession to this Throne.

 

(f) Any of Our descendants or subjects who violate this provision (Section 7, Subsection 2), or attempt, in any way, to repeal this Edict and shall claim the Throne, Crown, Scepter, Title, Lands, or Subjects of Balian shall be known as a “PRETENDER” and “USURPER” in perpetuity.

 

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Ad Gloriam Dei


Her Royal Majesty, Sybille I, by the Grace of GOD, Queen of Balian, Princess of Providence, Duchess of Helena, Reutov, Sunholdt and Lorraine, Countess of Pompourelia and Kositz, Viscountess of Eflen and Anatis, Baroness of Rensfeld, Brucca, Valens, Malenos and Ciavola, Lady of Portoregne, Atrus and Monterosa, Warden of La Costa Rubinissima, Protector of the Heartlanders and the South, etcetera.

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Ted Bunion spits out a mouthful of grouse upon hearing the new laws, having just poured his life's savings into Balianese goosefeathers which he had intended to resell on the international market.


"I'm RUINED!"

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"Nooooooooooooooooooooo! We truly live in a tyranny!" exclaimed Marc Galbraith upon reading the Edict, sighing as he realized he will no longer be able to cook his own food and prepare his drinks in the ways he usually did "I guess that times change." he said, shedding a tear "And I can't believe I will now have to pay 150 minas to the Procurator to produce sweet potatoes... MADNESS HAS HAD ITS DAY!" he concluded.

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Maria Vilac stares in horror at the document. After quite a while of doing that, she questions the sexism of the guild-based restrictions and then burns all of her many law books, because nothing means anything.

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The elderly John Galbraith can only get two sentences into the novel of a law before contemplating going to the Seven Skies early. He is promptly arrested and thrown in jail for possessing several illegal spices!

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Rhys var Ruthern holds his hands out. "Arrest me, for I have ground crickets into flour on an odd numbered day of the year. Take me away!"

 

He then remembers he IS the procurator. And cackles.

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