The Demands of the Weefolk

[Hearth 1082]

 

To the Orcs of the Khanate

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In response to recent events- the assumed slaughter of our Thain and my bitch ex-wife- Magnolia Collingwood, at the peace-talks of which she was promised safe passage to in order to discuss the purging of the supposed darkspawn in our lands- the lack of a response to the peace treaty sent to the Khanate in which our Shaman presence would be increased to aid in the excursion of the aforementioned darkspawn that the Khan had claimed to be dwelling within our lands- and the kidnapping of halfling children painted to be dark mages- ah crime a child’s soul is incapable of performing; We the Weefolk now send to the Orcs of the Khanate our demands, should they fail to be met, they shall face a most embarrassing defeat at the hands of the Shire-fyrd and those that have sworn to protect our peace-loving, neutral Shiredom, they are as follows:

 

1. The Khanate shall put aside this childlike, unoriginal reform and return to its historical and well-regarded title of Krugmar, to distance themselves from this unwarranted grievance against their historical allies and friends.

 

2. The Elders of the Rexdom shall call a tournament amongst their own in order for a strong, honourable and incorruptible son of Krug to take the place of the word twisting elf-lover that currently sits at the helm of Orc-kind.

 

3. An outpost for the Shaman-Lodge is to be constructed on the location of the Vikelan camp so that any darkspawn that may appear to terrorize our people can be purged with ease- and that communication between our peoples may be swifter.

 

4. Any Vikelan accused of being darkspawn that is found on or off of the lands of Krugmar by any that bear the Rex’s banner is to face a fair and spirit-respecting trial at the hands of the Shaman-Lodge in which they are tested for the accusations put against them.

 

5. The to-be Rexdom of Krugmar is to vow to never involve the Weefolk in their warpaths ever again, at the threat of dishonouring themselves- and is to scowl in the faces of others that would do the same to us.

 

6. Upon the selection of a new, respectable Rex, a grand feast is to be held to both repair broken friendships caused by this pointless conflict- and to mourn those that it has taken.

 

7. Any elf that did not hold the title of honourary prior to the selection of the current Rex is to be exiled from the Rexdom to seek refuge elsewhere, where they shan’t whisper ill lies in the ears of Lurak’s successor, whomever they shall be.

 

8. The Men of Lorraine that have been terrorizing the halflings at the order of the Khan, kidnapping the innocent, slaughtering children- and robbing those simply minding their own business shall henceforth be banished from the lands of Krugmar until they seek penance for their actions before the eyes of Billybob and those they have wronged. 

 

9. Should the Men of Lorraine appear within the Shire with the intent of causing grief to the peace-loving Weefolk, they are to be hunted to the ends of Aevos by the honourable Orcs of Krugmar.

 

10. The birch-forest land unlawfully claimed by the Orcs within the claim of Silasia is to be returned to those who had declared ownership prior to it’s settlement.

 

Fulfilment of these demands shall unquestionably restore the friendship between our peoples, and any questions of the honour of those that call Krugmar home. We sincerely hope those among the Rexdom that still value the old ways, and still hold a sense of honour shall take these demands and ensure that they are acted upon.

And to the Khan- if you dare march upon the lands of the Halflings, a defenseless and pacifistic people- the world shall see you as we now do- an honourless, warmongering, cowardly tyrant who would rather prop up his Human and Elf companions rather than enacting the will of the Spirits; And those that march with you shall find naught but a shovel shaped dent in their noggins.

 

Yours, now and forever- King King Cyris James Collingwood the first, the second,

Friend to the Lurs, the Ungris and to those among the Rexdom with an ounce of honour to their name.

 

Edited September 12, 2024 by Hearth
Divorce

[Pancho 4197]

"We earn our pay," Company Commander, Former Marshal Cerrick Fenifaer valiantly stamped his banner on the ground amongst the Caurost dead. "We will not falter."
 

Spoiler

 

 

[LoxyTheReindeer 356]

Ivacia reads the missive whilst sharpening her longsword, preparing herself for the looming conflict- for she has vowed to help protect the lands of the Weefolk. Smiling, she nods in approval at the missive, before going back to her forge. She has weapons to smith, after all.

[Coronate 5519]

Spoiler

 

7 minutes ago, Pancho said:

"We earn our pay," Company Commander, Former Marshal Cerrick Fenifaer valiantly stamped his banner on the ground amongst the Caurost dead. "We will not falter."
 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

“No.” said the Khan wondering why they were afraid to fight the actual rally.

 

[Isvinity 729]

"That they'd make such demands," chided a Caurósian dignitary to her much elder relative, @Nectorist. "And to ride it on the back of falsehood. They claim we whisper lies but they do not tell the truth of what took place in that courtroom. Pity."

[tazombo 248]

Cal Hawthorn Derlan Fiddleberry the Second angrily points an accusatory finger at the missive, specifically at the point where Shire Wizard Magnolia is referred to with the last name 'Collingwood.' 

 

"OI! MOIY AUN' ES NAY AH FECKIN' COLLINGWOOD! PU' SOME RESPEC' ON T'A FIDDLEBERREH LOINE!"

[Yeetboy0206 1574]

Estevot read this missive and grit his teeth. The use of the Canonism to obscure evil actions under the veneer of holiness was unconscionable. 

[The Black Lubba 563]

“They’re in no place to be making demands.” The woman rolled her eyes tossing the missive into the fireplace.

[salamanderfantasy 1340]

Just now, tazombo said:

Cal Hawthorn Derlan Fiddleberry the Second angrily points an accusatory finger at the missive, specifically at the point where Shire Wizard Magnolia is referred to with the last name 'Collingwood.' 

 

"OI! MOIY AUN' ES NAY AH FECKIN' COLLINGWOOD! PU' SOME RESPEC' ON T'A FIDDLEBERREH LOINE!"

". . . . . . . . . . . . ." Is the responce of the missing in action Thain Magnolia Fiddleberry (only Collingwood every third month, in the perpetual divorce cycle).

[Geckonawa 561]

Though she was no shaman, she could still hear the whispers of the spirits. 

"War is on," clamored the blue spirits, mighty in number and strength.

"It shall be on a Saturday," declared the almighty red spirits.

[Rig 17580]

"I'm going to make a mountain of halfling skulls" said Rhak Dom bloodthirstily

[MailC3p 2403]

4 minutes ago, Geckonawa said:

"It shall be on a Saturday," declared the almighty red spirits.

“What’s a saturday?” 

 

Asked a random halfling upon being telepathically connected to the spirits

[Unwillingly 18096]

Victories, Galahad thinks, seem to come fleetingly to the treacherous Lurinites and Halflings, for realms whose glory eludes them crave it like a bloodlusted hound and lap at whatever drop of it they can get. For the Khanate, however, conquest and triumph is a simple ritual.
 

Spoiler

 

 

[riorr 1970]

Far away from the drama in Dúnwen, Capt’n Took reasoned with her own ex-spouse, the guard shuul she had flirted with to obtain her freedom.

 

“Oi know t’at we are young … ‘n oi know t’at you may love meh … bu’ oi just cannae be with yeh loike t’is anehmore, Alejandro.”

 

Eyes filled with crocodile tears, she departed in pursuit of her true objective, recovering “her” missing ship.

[North 995]

Laszlo lazily wiped the blood of an elven princeling off his axe.
 

Spoiler