Nefarious Aus Shitpost

Well I'll be damned, they're altering a feature that old, from what I've seen on other games it is a recipe for disaster but I for one hope they finally fix it. Minecraft combat at current is very one sided; generally in an even fight (same gear) whoever gets the first click in will win, especially if they get the drop on the other person. I feel as if the slow down will severely reduce the shock factor from someone surprising you and even out the odds. Plus with the slowdown, if they add in new weapons you could actually put some variation into them - we could have actual spears and pikes, weapons with a slow speed but more reach; greatswords, more reach and damage at the expense of speed; daggers, almost no reach in exchange for the fastest attack speed; maces which do more damage against a person in armour then without and the list can go on. When all weapons have a constant speed you always pick the one that does the most damage, but the extra variable changes things, different weapons could have different purposes, and with our tech team we could alter it even more then vanilla is probably going to receive. AND if shields only effect attacks from the front you could come up with specialised tactics that are currently either useless, novel or impossible in pre-1.9 Minecraft. I recommend everyone see this in practice on the server before you start complaining lol. Could be real good. Or alternatively it could be absolutely atrocious.

"Yes if you pay an additional $9.95. Batteries not included."

"You gonna buy, or you gonna complain. It's docile, non-violent and hardworking."

I am humbly requesting that everyone who played a Tunnelsmasher in my nine month absence please post on this thread with which character they were and their status (living, missing or dead). Also stay tuned for additional crap being added here in the future as well as a general fixing of the above post :)

The Tunnelsmasher Clan do not use information gained in this thread to metagame. Please note this was primarily an Australian time-based clan. GMT 6+ to GMT 12+ preffered History Ancient History: Recent History: Modern History: Culture The Clan has a strong religious tradition, adhering to a ultra-traditionalist sect of the dwarven faiths, which shuns paragon worship (seeing paragons only as dwarves of note and exemplar conduct), maintains a different list of paragons to those commonly accepted and considers followers of the deities Wyvurn and Dormaar as little more then heathens, while it considers the Ireheart clan, with their worship of the false paragon Kjell as a God as plainly heretical. As something as a particularity amongst the dwarfen peoples, the Tunnelsmashers are known to show a preference for swords and knives over axes and polearms, the exact reason for this behaviour is unknown, but the axe is treated as a tool amongst Tunnelsmasher dwarfs rather then a weapon. In combat, Tunnelsmashers are known for not only defeating their enemies, but also humiliating them. They have no qualms beating the already defeated and marking them with forced tattoos baring dwarven religious symbols on their faces and hands. Dead opponents are decapitated and their heads used as decorations in the homes of clans-dwarfs. In the private life, Tunnelsmasher's make little distinction between each other, a brother is as much family as a cousin. Loyalty to the clan is primary concern - if a member of the clan is picked on by someone outside of the clan, others in the area will rush to their defence and often engage in 'bullying' behaviour on foes. Clothing wise, Tunnelsmashers, as a result of spending much time with mountain dwarfs, tend to wear heavy, hardy and warm clothing, often in the form of robes, overcoats and jackets. Smoking is a common recreational activity. Curiously, the older dwarves have a habit of yelling "BARMAN" at quite literally everything, whether out of frustration, happiness or otherwise. They particular reasoning for this behaviour has never quite been explained - the Skygods claim it as something known as 'trolling'. It never quite caught on with the younger generation. Clan Relics The Book of Records ​Possibly the most enigmatic item owned by the clan, the book of records is an ancient item, created in the year following the foundation of the clan. Several hundred pages of vellum, all written in ancient dwarfen runic script (although quite a large number of pages remain blank) and encased in fine dwarfen steel, the likes of which can no longer be replicated. Each of the steel covers carries a large master rune of flame, which reacts violently to people who attempt to move or access to book without Tunnelsmasher blood. The books pages are filled with genealogies, family trees and journal entries from a number of clans-dwarves ranging from Bryth to Wojech. It is location is a closely kept secret of the clan. Azgoth Verdigrumm "The Treasure Defender" - Bryth's longsword, a gift from his father Heron prior to leaving for Kal'Tabar. The blade is made from the finest and most expensive dwarfen steel and enlaid with runes of unknown meaning, which have long since run out of energy. The Azgoth Verdigrumm was carried by Bryth through the siege of Kal'Tabar, was later handed down to Ralor who hid the blade from the Ironborn Dynasty and carried it during the siege of Kal'Urugan and finally passed onto Bael who continues to wield it on occasion. The Terror Stone A small gem that was found beneath Mount Terror in Anthos by Bael. It is noticeable for having drawn Bael to it by projecting voices into his head and it glows off a faint inner light. The stone was set into an amulet by its finder and the amulet itself was handed off to Adarl for safekeeping. With the death of Adarl Tunnelsmasher, the Terror Stone has been lost. The Political Crown of Telemar Telemar was a petty kingdom in the Anthosian wilds that through various means managed to earn the ire of Bael and many of his human compatriots in exile. In a show of force, unmatched to this day by a non-national affiliated group, Bael, Wolvengard allies and several Ireheart warriors sacked the various keeps and towns of Telemar and forced the Kingdom to submit. As Telemar was ruled in the manner of a dual king, the war-crown passed onto Dreek Ireheart, while Bael took the political crown. It remains a symbol of the high watermark of Tunnelsmasher strength, as well as a warning to future petty kingdoms to choose their foes more wisely. Appearance As a result of being created from thirteen different lineages, the Tunnelsmasher's have the least uniform appearance of any of the dwarfen clans. While primarily descended from cave dwarf stock, much contact with the mountain dwarfs due to the atrocities occurring during the Blood Age, many (if not all) of the clan carries some mountain dwarf blood. Brown or black hair is the norm, although red hair is not unheard of. The hair goes progressively lighter as the dwarf ages, ending usually at an ashy grey or off-white. Skin is typically grey, pale or very lightly tanned, however those descended from pure cave dwarf blood are very possibly translucent. Beards are grown and well-kept. As a result of Irongut influence, beard braiding and adding jewellery to ones facial hair is quite common place too. Tunnelsmasher's are typically taller then the average cave dwarf, although shorter then the typical mountain dwarf. They stand of average build, not as broad or bulky as a mountain dwarf, but far more agile. Coming of Age The Rites to be announced Clan Members since founding. (needs serious updaing) Family Tree: LINK Clan Thane [Clan Lord] Bael, son of Ralor [sanguinePluit] Clan Elders Eorlund, son of Sorkvil [spitfyre7kira / Bangi] Udarr, son of Argon [big_Jewski] Clan Members Odarc, son of Bael [cycy67] Floi, son of Kaevon [ztb_00] Harvok, of son of Bael [graphic18] Wojech, son of Adarl [bipolarJuice] Kaevon, son of Ralor [PiercingLight] Darid, son of Floi [GandalfDahWhite] Beros I, son of Floi [JavaWizard] James, son of Beros I [?] Belegar, son of Floi [?] Beros II, son of Belegar [?] Bran, son of Beros II [?] Dwedohin, son of Darid [?] Dain, son of Darid [?] Adresin, son of Darid [RyanHatYT] Urvad, son of Adarl [AlpineAl] Clan Deceased Bryth Heronsson Irongut, Founder [NPC] Telchar ? ?, Founder [NPC] Valma, daughter of Bryth [NPC] Ralor, son of Bryth [NPC] Sorkvild, son of Bryth [NPC] Argon, son of Thori [sambotronic2712] Adarl, son of Bael [Ja_mes_K] Thori, son of Telchar & Valma [NPC] Clan Missing Gimrik, joined with the blood [racingbrother] Bryk, son of Sorkvild [zevandir] Hidar, joined with the blood [DwarfGuy45187] Carth, son of Ralor [italian_assassin] Idius, son of Bael [taito999] Kairn, son of Bael [connman] Kienherst, son of Sorkvild [spiritoftheram] Kevo, son of Ralor [PiercingLight] Gigolo, son of Bael [_snowshovel] Skalliege, son of Thori [?] Clan Banished Clan Diplomacy The Kingdom of Urguan: Suzerain/Friendly Irongut Clan: Kinsman Grandaxe Clan: Neutral Ireheart Clan: Disliked The Doomforged: Disliked Frostbeard Clan: Neutral Irongrinder Clan: Hostile Edgehand Clan: Neutral Reformed Kingdom of Oren: Neutral The Province of Laurelin: Disliked The Iron Uzg: Neutral The Protectorate of Haelunor: Disliked Clan Territory Aegis: City of Kal'Tabar (destroyed by orc invasion) Asulon: Clan Hall in Kal'Dwain (destroyed by drake) Asulon: District in Karik (destroyed by Lysistrata villagers) Kalos: Clan Hall in Kal'Kadrin (destroyed by Volcano) Anthos: Clan Storehouse in the Anthos Wilds (lost in Anthos) Anthos: Village of Khaz'Rhadav (lost in Anthos) Athera: Village of Khaz'Umthosnazkarumm (lost in Athera) Vailor: Clan Hall in Kal'Akash (under construction) Application Currently looking for more beardlings! [[ MC Name: ]] [[ OOC Reason for joining: ]] [[ Have you read the OOC stuff (below): ]] [[ Your Skype Name: (optional) ]] Yer Name: Yer Age: Yer Gender: Yer Relation to teh Clan: Yer (brief) History: Out of Character Stuff below:

Name: Bael Tunnelsmasher Clan you represent (If applicable): Tunnelsmasher (unsure if we officially remain a clan) Type of holding (Hold, estate, farm, etc): Single Room House In the Red Urguan Complex. Last house in the Molten Lane on the left. ps: will probably be moving to Faromir soonish

Urguan looks like an upside down Ottoman Empire from EUIV.

"Heartlander filth can make stay in heartlander filth. Leave Raev alone!" yells Boleslaw out the window to no one in particular.

"Vote for anyone that isn't an Irongrinder."

"Ah for one agree with the Grandaxe, go sodomize yourself with a cactus. A large one."

"Ah'd vote for you kinsman, but me first priority is to keep certain traitors off the throne..."

Place an X next to the candidate of your choice. Your Name ((RP and MC)): Bael Tunnelsmasher [[bipolar_Juice]] Race: Dworf Balek Irongut ((Hobolympic)): X Zahrer Irongrinder ((Josh3738)): Ognar Grandaxe ((Meanking)): Dizzy Irongrinder ((Dizzy771)): However, should there be a tie between either Ognar and one of the Iron-filth, my vote goes to Ognar. "Ah'll die before ah see a treacherous Irongrinder on the throne again!"

Naw come on guys, let the children have their fun.

"...what is a Khaz'O'Khentrumm?" asks Bael, seeking the spellchecker. "But on the other 'and, we be down another king and another 'eretic; pfft; atleast 'e lasted longer then Kjell's brat, ah'll give 'im that."

"Indeed, which **** stated we reformed in Kalos?"

The "Nastrada Clan" has no genealogy and has no known descent from Urguan. Post your descent and it gets put up. That being said the Tunnelsmasher line is looking pretty empty. Bryk Tunnelsmasher, son of Sorkvild Tunnelsmasher [zevandir] Carth Tunnelsmasher, son of Ralor Tunnelsmasher [italian_assassin] Idius Tunnelsmasher, son of Bael Tunnelsmasher [taito999] Kienherst Tunnelsmasher, son of Sorkvild Tunnelsmasher [spiritoftheram] Kevo Tunnelsmasher, son of Ralor Tunnelsmasher [xiryks] Gigolo Tunnelsmasher, son of Bael Tunnelsmasher [_snowshovel] and also Kairn Irongut, currently listed as a son of Morkas Irongut, is actually the son of Bael Tunnelsmasher (although he uses the Irongut name).

Bael Tunnelsmasher would like to request an urn for him to keep his sons yimmya in :( [[ Bipolar_Juice ]]

"My clan is not even listed... racist..."

High Elven Genocide So elfski can be free Make grab of them by nipples and string them from a tree

"By the Gods, that prestige scroll is slander..." says the shady dworf.

"walkin' frew an abandoned town an' claimin' it is 'ardly a "conquest"" says shady dwarf

a mysterious bael flies in dropping a magical copy of some book he obtained way back when which is sort of but not really relevant before he flies off from lotc again to locate some cajna "been sittin' on that one a wee bit too long" states the magical dworf before he disappears in a eye-opening array of fireworks and salami

"Woman make say she is virgin to escape wrath of authority for making henoius crime of fornication! Child is not messiah, child is bastard of **** and village man. Woman make say of many dumb thing to make escape of punishment!" exclaims Boleslaw the Rvse.