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Ser Paul Ryan

Old Fart
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1,136 Godly

About Ser Paul Ryan

  • Rank
    Speaker of the House
  • Birthday April 11

Contact Methods

  • Discord
    Paul Ryan Severance#4030
  • Minecraft Username
  • Skype
  • Website

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    Washington, D.C.
  • Interests
    Memes, fiscal responsibility, shitposting

Character Profile

  • Character Name
    Ser Paul Ryan X

Recent Profile Visitors

9,476 profile views
  1. hey there bud GI Jim just wanting to wish you luck in the 2020 election

  2. Make better friends in life than Paul Manafort did, kids. 

  3. Have any of you nerds played Total War: Warhammer II? Worth the $$$? 

    1. Quavinir_Twiceborn


      Ive really enjoyed it, and I personally think it was worth the cash.

  4. My thoughts and prayers are with Roseanne 

  5. Is LOTC GDPR compliant? I will report Tythus to EU authorities if I do not receive a privacy update within 24 hours, you have been warned! 

  6. Ser Paul Ryan

    A Call For Ćocks - Does Your Rooster Have What It Takes?

    important notice: I've had a Saturday trip cancelled at the last minute and will be unexpectedly travelling on this upcoming Sunday. Due to this, and the relatively few numbers of participants, this clash of ***** has been delayed until further notice. I'd nonetheless like to extend my thanks to all contestants who have thus far shown us their impressive *****!
  7. Sign up for the cockfighting tourney (PvP as chickens), and gain the chance to show your beautiful cock off to the world! Link:


    1. Sporadic


      youre really gonna milk this joke for all it's worth huh?

    2. Ser Paul Ryan

      Ser Paul Ryan

      I could make one right here but I'll hold back. It's really about the PR(S), fam - can't get people to show up if they don't hear about it 

  8. How on earth is noble Paul going to work his way out of this doozy, friendos? Read and find out! 


  9. Ser Paul Ryan

    [ET Contest] Predict the Wall Event

    An ancient force is coming to dismantle the wall, and an ancient order of knights will have to work with the races of Atlas in order to repel it? I assume we'll have to bolster the wall's defenses, ideally with some ancient artifacts. It will probably culminate in a great battle, our last hope to survive, wherein we barely scrape by with our lives. I sure can't wait, friendos!
  10. This is your chance to show your rooster to the world! The upcoming Haense Cockfighting tourney features a 1k mina prize! More here: 


  11. Ser Paul Ryan

    A Call For Ćocks - Does Your Rooster Have What It Takes?

    Ser Paul sadly shakes his head at the hippy. "Men are a part of nature, too, pal, and what they do isn't separate from it. Ćocks also have natural predators in the wild, meaning it's necessarily natural for them to be slain and eaten. Maybe you should stop puffing on those fancy herbs of yours, and use them to season a nice roast Ćock instead! I still welcome you to come to the competition." "That's a very impressive Ćock you have there, friendo! I hope to see it at the competition."
  12. Come one, come all, and prove that you have the best ćock around! A chance to win 1,000 minas awaits! 



  13. (IMPORTANT NOTE; Tourney has been delayed due to unforeseen travel arrangements - will post here when/if new date is established) From the cozy city of Markev, missives are sent throughout the known realms, calling for ćocks of all shapes and sizes to compete in the first annual Markevian Cockfighting Tournament. ((PvP tourney where you turn into a chicken)) “COME ONE, COME ALL! Ser Paul Ryan invites all would-be ćock contenders to test the mettle in his first annual Markevian Cockfighting Tournament! Rooster ruffians of all shapes and sizes are encouraged to register and pay the 10 minas fee for their chance to win the GRAND PRIZE – 1,000 minas! Ser Paul Ryan doesn’t discriminate amongst ćocks – he believes that every beautiful bird is lovely in its own right, and that all deserve a chance to be crowned ‘King Cock’. In that spirit, participants are asked to register below, describing their ćocks in vivid detail so as to give us a mental picture of what your ćock might look like, and how it might fare when juxtaposed against other ćocks. There is only one disqualifier; in the name of public health, Ser Paul has deemed that diseased ćocks are forbidden from the contest. If your bird is encrusted with filthy diseases, we want no part of it! All ćocks will be thoroughly inspected by Ser Paul Ryan beforehand to ensure he’s satisfied that they meet his requirements. Ćocks will be fitted with razor blades when they arrive – do NOT try to augment your ćock at home, as doing so can result in serious injuries to your ćock. Leave it to the professionals. Do you think your ćock is impressive? Are you hoping to wow large crowds of onlookers with your ćock’s physical might? Have you always wanted to see how your ćock measures up against others? If you answered yes to any of the above questions, your ćock just might qualify for this tournament. Alcohol will be flowing, snacks will be munched, and not only is gambling permitted, it's downright encouraged! If a certain ćock catches your eye, you're free to nurture it and encourage it with your bets! Please fill out the information sheet below, and send it to the Dancing Crow Inn in Markev, addressed to one Ser Paul Ryan. If at all possible, please include a sketch of your ćock for vetting purposes; no fake ćocks allowed! Ser Paul Ryan would like to remind everybody that all contestants are welcome, as are non-participating observers – children and families in particular are encouraged to come and see these mighty ćocks on display." CONTESTANT COCKSHEET: Your name: (Username)/Roleplay Name The name of your ćock: (Please be as creative as possible) Ćock’s origin: Ćock’s origin story: (optional) What makes your ćock stand out from other ćocks? (Please be as detailed as possible; there's no such thing as too much information when it comes to your ćock's attributes and good looks) I agree that Ser Paul Ryan and the Markevian Cockfighting Tournament Organization™ are not responsible for any injuries me or my ćock may sustain during this event: [ ] TOURNEY INFO: Time/date: Sunday, May 27th, high noon (12:00pm) EDT/UTC-4 Entry fee: 10 minas GRAND PRIZE: 1,000 minas - Your ćock will be inducted into Ser Paul Ryan’s Grand Ćock Hall Of Fame – Bragging rights about having the biggest, baddest ćock in town 2nd Place: You think anyone cares about having the second most impressive ćock around? Think again, pal – no prize here for losers LOSERS WILL BE BUTCHERED, FRIED, AND SERVED AS DELICIOUS SNACKS TO THE CROWD OF ONLOOKERS. ((The tourney will be facilitated by the event team. Players will be temporarily transformed into chickens, and then PvP one another in a small ćock ring. I will act as the judge and chief commentator, but am open to others joining me. If you want to help facilitate this event, please include that on your cocksheet, but I only want those who possess experience judging ćocks in the past. Rooster rookies are nonetheless encouraged to show up and learn a thing or two about how to handle and raise a strong ćock.)) Why am I doing this? I just love ćocks! Finally, a small note appears to have been added to each flier, carefully scrawled in green crayon: “It is suggested that Renatian Roosters stay at home – they’re infamously small, and possessing years of cockfighting experience myself, I can tell you they simply don’t match up against most other ćocks. Nonetheless, you’re permitted to bring any kind of healthy ćock you wish, as long as it’s disease free and doesn’t possess any unnatural augmentations.” ((OOC: I ask for serious responses only, please. Jokesters will be reported and disqualified. The 10 minas fee can be paid on the date of the cockfight tourney, or sent to me at any other time when I’m online. YES, this event is real – quit that snickering in the back!))
  14. Glad to see everyone's finally figuring out that the rules don't matter and they just make this **** up as they go along lmao I mean, I would, too, if I could get my hands on that sweet sweet donation and advertising money. Who can resist oil money like that? Not even MY SuperPACs can rival the financial heft of these mighty memesters.... I fear you fight in vain, noble Worcester scum, but you have Paul Ryan's backing regardless. Edit: Upon review I failed to make clear the singular point that needs to be conveyed here, and I think it's the one Matt wanted to make in the first place. I'll put the Speaker's gavel aside here for a moment and *shudder*, be super cereal. You have a system wherein the whims and preferences of one individual who is wholly unaccountable (and downright unreachable) to the vast majority of the community reigns supreme. Let's be clear about this; there's no such thing as a "community guideline" - it's a Telanir guideline. He singularly decides who gets unbanned, when, etc - try to contact him to resolve this dispute like a reasoned, well-behaved adult, and if you're lucky he'll contact you in a year's time. I'm not exaggerating at all when I say it would probably be more efficient to contact him via snail mail than via discord or any other means. To put it simply - stop acting like you're implementing a system of rules-based justice that treats people equally and serves the greater good of the community when in reality you're really furthering a system wherein an individual gets to be judge, jury, and executioner, with no accountability nor transparency. If you SINCERELY want to make this community a better place, make this transparent, efficient, and spread out so that one person who's barely ever on and has virtually no connection with the majority of players who make sure the bills get paid isn't in charge of everything. It's seriously not hard, fam. Just distribute the powers of review to the other admins, or better yet, the GMs. We all know you're self-serving and willing to bend the rules in your favor, but that's a part of the system everyone comes to accept. Hell, I'm a member of congress, I know what I'm talking about here. But we only get re-elected to continue stuffing our own pockets if we also meet the needs of the constituency. If anyone else wants me to spell this out to them even more, I'd be happy to do so. -Paul
  15. Imagine being the kind of person who thinks this **** is possible to do instantaneously in an illiterate age in one emote while standing in the middle of the road with no writing surface lmao this ****'s a danker joke than Bernie's campaign 

    1. Licorish


      Hahahahahahahahahhah agreed

    2. Medvekoma


      Household magic, m'dude.