Yeetboy, I have been playing on the same side as you for a while now and I've been in some pvp practices and warclaims with you these last weeks.
I can confidently say you're taking everything too serious. You're doing this to yourself by failing to take things with a grain of salt as this is at the end of the day just some minecraft server.
I've been on the same side as you and I have experienced no serious/noteworthy ooc toxicity (aside from some trolling about our L's) from the other side at all, I've been able to RP in the hub I usually RP in without any issues. True, war requires some adapting like not sitting out on roadsides all day waiting to be banditted etc. But it's not like it has been made impossible for you to RP in your hub. At worst you'll be caught in a raid once and then it goes on cooldown so you can peacefully rp for like double the time that you actually lost to that raid.
If you need to step away from lotc to unwind, do it. But if I can give you one piece of advice that, if you take it, will change your lotc experience forever it would be: Don't take anything that goes on on this server too serious.
You're allowing it to get to you. Build things outside of the server that fullfill you, you can't allow your mental health to depend on a server with a bunch of monkeys like me on it.