LOTC Tales: Stag puns can start wars.

[Farryn 860]

((So basically, fictional tales I have wrote about LOTC that are either hilarious, tear-jerkers, horror, etc whenever I get bored. These are just ideas that came to mind whenever I am in college or at home. These are are just for utter banter and fun, not written for the lore or anything event-wise. Just for the entertainment of many and for me to just show off my writing skills for once. This first one was a little hard to write in background but I just flowed with it. So... enjoy!))

((I recommend listening to the music below to add more to the story VVV))

 

Stag puns can start wars

“Taharry!”

Tahariae groaned and almost slammed his head on the table the moment he heard that single voice. He was monitoring his clerics, making sure they did not decide to abandon their duties or mess up. Currently, three of his clerics: Heshakomeu, Elvira, and Andriel were in the hall, chatting to the other about things he did not care about. The Aengul felt the faintest hint of guilt seeing Elvira and Andriel, he disconnected the two for not obeying him a while ago… when they were just about to do what he requested! And they were loyal to him! He was glad he fixed that....although Elvira was currently suffering from amnesia, and their leader was nowhere to be seen. They needed to sort that out. Also, the Aengul of purity was certain he locked the doors to his domain, all nine hundred and one locks done, but he guessed not even those can hold back the one Aengul that knows how to annoy him. With a deep sigh, Tahariae opened his eyes.

“What do you want, Xan?”

Standing before him was his brother-in-light, Xan. The Aengul of order was stood in his domain, grinning up at the Aengul of purity. His fine armour releasing an elegant glow while his sun-like cape flowed over him. It was that blasted smirk that annoyed Tahariae even more. Oh how he wished to strangle that Aengul right on the spot.

While the mortals believed the two have a strengthened friendship after the Golden Lance incident, that didn’t mean the two got along perfectly well at times.In this case, Tahariae found Xan a nuisance due to him intruding on his domain… again.

“Oh nothing, deer brother!” Xan sneered amusedly. “Just wondering how the holy stag himself is doing on this fine glorious day!”

Must... resist.. urge.. to strangle... Tahariae groaned again. Not the stag puns… the Aengul of Purity was beginning to despise his decision as choosing a stag for his illusionary form. At first he liked the form, since it was elegant with its fluffy fur and majestic antlers. However, he was not aware of the horrible puns that followed.

“Xan… just get to the point, I am trying to keep an eye on my servants!” Tahariae growled softly, tapping his fingers on his desk. Lingering in front of him was a ball of light that showed his servant’s base; Destati. ‘Awaken’ or ‘Awakening’, he liked the name. The Awakening of the clerics as they get use to being connected to him and help him to achieve his goal. Although, he was quite annoyed with the recent events, especially with the whole trouble Gazadriael and a few mortals caused a couple months ago.

“Okay.. it’s just about the supposed war between my paladins and your clerics that was fortold,” Xan answered, crossing his arms over his chest. “I was wondering if it will happen, Tahariae.”

“It won’t. we no longer need it since the Harvesters have apparently stopped doing their work,” Tahariae answered, leaning back in his chair. He was surprised, Xan was getting to a point for once. “Now is a time for our servants to do their duty, which yours are obviously not in my point of view."

“So? But basically, what I do want to ask is that if this war does happen… can my paladins win and completely destroy your clerics?” Xan asked hopefully.

Tahariae raised an eyebrow. “Why do you want the paladins to win?”

“Just to make the mortals realise that my deer brother’s servants need to… buck up,” the Aengul of order replied. “It’s obvious, my paladins are better than your clerics, and this will back up that thought! Besides, at least my paladins don’t go charging around, screaming about crusades... although I do find it very amusing!”

“...Xan… never underestimate the crusades my clerics talk of… it is a power you know not… and you winning will not happen at all… …” Tahariae groaned, rubbing his forehead.  “And enough of those blasted deer puns… but I will be honest, at least my clerics have been doing their duty rather than spending all their lives on an island!”

“Nah, they’re just… keeping order y’know… hey? Ever thought of wearing… y’know? Antlers on your head? I think they will suit you greatly. Maybe you can make antlers part of the official cleric uniform”

“Xan…” Tahariae’s voice was beginning to raise.

“I got a joke for you, Taharry! Why do stags need braces?” Tahariae remained silent and closed his eyes, knowing exactly where this is going. “Because they have buck teeth! Do you have braces?”

“Xann…” Tahariae’s voice was becoming highly irritated now.

“Oh! How about I bring you a female deer… a doe right? You’ll be the best of buds! She'll stop you from getting all grumpy! Hey! Maybe you may get some business down~”

And Tahariae lost it.

“ENOUGH!” the Aengul of purity roared, standing up to his full height. “Silence yourself of your ridiculous impure stag and deer puns! Do so before I send my clerics to completely eliminate your paladins! Do you honestly want to begin a war with ME!?”

There was a moment of silence.

“No Ideer” Xan grinned very widely. “Can my paladins still win though…?”

Tahariae sighed and flickered his light away. “Screw it…”

He then proceeded to chuck himself at Xan.

If any other Aengul was nearby, they would hear the sound of fighting and screaming coming from Tahariae’s domain. Then, a moment of silence that would be closely followed by a window being smashed. Xan would be seen falling down, screaming two words that would remain forever written in Aengul and mortal history.

“Worth it!”

And that was how the clerics and paladins broke into a war between each other.

 

((Before you start saying 'Xan isn't like that!' or 'Paladins are doing something! Kill her!' ranty rant rant, this is a non-canon story, meaning it does not actually happen. Although if the two did argue like this, I would question if they were being fully serious. Basically, I have no idea how Tahariae and Xan's personalities are to it was difficult trying to portray them. So I settled on Tahariae being the serious, very focused on duty type, while Xan is the energetic, laid back and hilarious type. Also, seeing that Tahariae uses a stag to represent himself, I am sure Xan, or anyone who have a death wish, will takes full advantage in annoying the Aengul with the puns xD. Also, some of the information I may have wrote, like the harvesters not doing their jobs, may not be true or false as I really don't know but hey! Xan wanted a war, and Tahariae gave him one... in a deerly beloved way... but yeah, I don't regret writing this and please make sure this does not start any OOC arguments that will lead to an actual war. Like I said above, this is just for the utter lols and banter, and I do not mean to offend any clerics or paladins. Let me know if you enjoy this, and if you want to read anymore stories like this. Peace out! - Farryn))

 

[Tentoa 3161]

Justice
>Laid back
>please google Tyreal or the Biblical Angel Raguel 


Edit: Misread- general writing tip: If a character is an allegory for a principle of some kind such as generosity or in this case; order then you should write the being to personify that.

Raguel and Zuriel are good reference points from religion to write an anguel from.

Edited September 30, 2015 by Emu Templar Tentacles

[TeaLulu 1783]

No lion or pride puns, 6/10

[ℤ∃ʁ∅ 823]

So this is how Captain america 3 : civil war  started

[Ventusyr 233]

full canon

[GDPR 014 48]

Um hello where is Malchediael??

[lawnmowerman 3040]

hehe ebig!

[Runabarn 1028]

Taharry is oficially canon now. Everyone refer to Tah as "Taharry" from now on.

[Elad™ 560]

Moved to the Archive. It shall be sorted into the appropriate category shortly.