The Lusty Kharajyr Maid, Part 1

[Publius 4098]

During your travels, you may happen across this most trashy of novellas. At first glance, it would seem quite ordinary, until one took a look at the cover art and title. A Kharajyr maid would be on the front, with a title that ought to shock even the most liberal of readers: THE LUSTY KHARAJYR MAID, PART 1: HARD AS A ROCCO.

 

The seediness of the novella is apparent...

 

Note from the author:

Following many years toiling in Oren, I have written many essays, thesis’, speeches and the like, all to appeal to the politically active and conscious people of the realm. In doing this, I have found little time for creative writing, and have failed to produce works that would be more attractive to the bored and the lazy. With this in mind, and desperate for money, I have decided to write a book.

 

I am ashamed of this, like an athlete having used their body for years of service in our Emperor’s army, only to end up a piece of meat in a brothel. But I need money, and if there is some lonely housewife that gets a kick out of this and is willing to pay me for said kick, so be it. To be honest I am too ashamed to even put my real name down.

 

Without further ado, “The Lusty Kharajyr Maid”.

 

THE LUSTY KHARAJYR MAID, PART 1: HARD AS A ROCCO

Written by P. Brock Hauss

 

It was a beautiful day in the Kingdom of Skravia, a place with absolutely no trouble, strife, or unemployment. The Grand Palace of Romstun shined with greatness, Orenian and Vanderguan ambassadors and noblemen alike all around to be seen. On this fair day during the Sun’s Smile, 1569, King Rocco II of Skravia merrily made his rounds, inspecting the newly hired servants of the palace. He stopped though, his eyes catching one very lucky lady as he begun to speak…

 

“You.” He would say suddenly, flashing a smile so wondrous and bright, “What are you here for?”

 

The Kharajyr looked behind her, then back to this great man! “I am here to work, Your Majesty, as a maid!” She would blush, though the King failed to notice it under all the fur. He would continue his smiling, squinting at her.

 

“Say, I need a pole polisher in the throne room after court, mind… handling that?” He would say with the most Savoyard like smirk a Skravian had ever smirked.

 

“I don’t know…” She would say, her smirk almost a reflection of his. “I tend to run my mouth back and forth quite a bit!”

 

Rocco would laugh a mighty laugh, casually carrying on afterwards, “Go on and talk, as long as you do not make a habit of spitting too much out!” His comment would land hard on her, as she swallowed.

 

“Of course Your Majesty, I’ll hold it down if I can!” She would say, her head swimming in excitement!

 

“What would your name happen to be anyhow?” King Rocco II would say, with an eyebrow raised towards her.

 

“Khat En’Heet.” She would say with a courtsy.

 

He would nod his head, gesturing for his housekeeper to give Khat En’Heet her initial payment, walking away as he waved with a grin.

 

“Nice, I am gonna go get a drink and get comfortable, I will see you later.”

 

To be continued....

[big narstie 1701]

King Rocco of Skravia stamps the royal seal of Skravia on the script of the book and begins doing autographs for the scores of loyal fans.

[Ford 1996]

The mere thought of obtaining this tome causes Archembalt's face to be swathed in sweat. 

[LaCabra (Soda) 1519]

A tent is pitched in the Orc lands, pitched tall, sturdy, hot and sweaty.

[=Nkruma= 65]

The Frostbeard  after having found this work of art would proceed to slide the book into his collection of many books on the shelf before reading it. "Hmph." The dwarf would sigh sitting back down next to his fireplace.

[mitto 2312]

Valor puts in a book request at Laureh'lin's library reception.

[CheekyNolan 5420]

Athirius turns a pale colour of green before being violently sick over the manuscript.

[Archbishop 1784]

"Oh my." Says Mukar as he slowly closes the book.

[idiot 502]

Garsto would read.... "Not bad, not bad." He says, placing the book among some of his own, and others of course!

[KarmaDelta 969]

As Durack takes his daily stroll through the Dwarven lands, he walks by two Dwarven women conversing about something strange. He walks slower to see appease his curiosity,

 

"Oh... MY... GOD Bekee! Look..at this... BOOK!" says Janice

 

"I know! It is so big! I've read it.... and oh my god...." responds Bekee

 

They begin talking about some book about what you make out to include a Kharajyr, humans, a maid, and subtle hints of a pole polisher.

Durack did not know he completely stopped to listen, and the two Dwarven women gave him a strange look, before he notices how they remark him sweating profusely over what they were talking about.

 

[Kaelan 1918]

A young teen of Orenian Nobility quickly hides the book under his pillow upon hearing footsteps outside his door! He quickly lays his head on top of said pillow and pretends to be asleep. "I'll finish it tomorrow night!" he whispers softly to himself as the footsteps continue on by.

[Elad™ 560]

Moved to the Archive. It shall be sorted into the appropriate category shortly.