Guest The Orenian Company Share Posted January 24, 2016 ISSUE I - The Times of Felsen 1 - ARTHUR ROSWELL - THE MAN BEHIND THE TITLE 2 - PABLO’S SINGLE’S SECTION 3 - OREN TODAY, VALIOR NEWS 4 - FINANCE AND STOCKS 5 - ABOUT THE PUBLISHERS 1. Arthur Roswell - The Man Behind the Title On the 1st of the Grand Harvest, 1543, I was unfortunate enough to arrange a meeting with the Duke of Istria, Mighty Lord Roswell. He was dressed in his formal garments, the poor quality linen, most likely assembled within one of his various child labour factories, his poorly crafted golden embroidery being a reflection of his poorly crafted attitude towards life. Firstly, what is Roswell? A fungal disease one may find growing upon one’s foot? A type of hair cream? Yes, and much more. He perched upon his stool like a constipated gentleman would do to the base of his privy.The first thing that struck me was his large ego, much larger than his four man levy. Much to my dismay the phrase “Greetings, Mr Roswell.” was inadequate and did not meet his ever so pompous standards. I was corrected immediately, oh, what a fool that I am, for this is not the way one should address a mighty and powerful Duke. Roswell, is famed throughout Oren, for his unfaulted Governance of the Duchy of Istria. He has surely done the late Titus de Sola proud, turning Titus’ 40,000 man force to a band of 4 psychedelic Elves with red eyes, lead by the much respected Jentos the Great. Lorraine's Sausage Company bring more than four men, and Lorraine doesn't even have a sausage company. Arthur of the lesser House Roswell maintained his glorious reign by removing his brethren within his Duchy. House Falkenrath, a former Istrian family that had an Intelligence Quotient greater than that of a raw potato in a muddy puddle, were forced out of power by His Grace, Mr Roswell. Mr Arthur Roswell would be incapable of leading a cabbage plantation, let alone one of the major provinces within our great Empire. His town smells of damp, the streets are littered with faeces and the inhabitants of the Roswellian stable would likely make more fitting rulers, assuming it was indeed inhabited in the first place. “A shower a day keeps the Roswell away.” - Godfrey IV 2. Pablo’s Single’s Section “Dear Pablo, I, the Duke of Istria am having an intimate with one of my paige boys, Jentos Blackwood. I do not know how to tell my husband or how my family will react, especially since Jentos is infected with various diseases.” - Anonymous Dear Anonymous, I would suggest going to see the High Pontiff, to confess your sins. Sexual promiscuity and immorality have plagued our lands, as is so evident from your testimony. I hope that the Creator leads you from your dark into his light. [Insert your Ad here] 3. News An Orenian Defeat: 12th of the Grandharvest 1543: This week, a great battle ravaged at the Dwarven stronghold of Kal’ordholm. Unfortunately, the Dwarven forces repelled Imperial advances and maintained control over their keep. The Duchy of Istria was a large let down for the Empire, rallying only 4 men, though, what can one expect from a man who likes the smell of his own urine? After a long and hardy battle, hours of siege bombardment and slow advances from the Imperial forces, Oren were forced back. 4. Finance & Stocks Istrian Property Development: -23% MKT CPT (1350 Minas) Saltstone Salt Company: -5% MKT CPT (2043 Minas) Wycome Trading company: +1.6% MKT CPT (4320 Minas) Courlandic Trading Company: +32% MKT CPT (4533 Minas) Drusco Property Development: +41% MKT CPT (4300 Minas) Orenian Publishing Company: +63% MKT CPT (2400 Minas) About The Publishers The Orenian Publishing Company was formed on the 12th of the Grandharvest 1543, by Otto von Habsburg. The Company takes inspiration from the old Petrus Printing Press, owned by Jacob Chapel, in the times of Tuvya Carrion. Dedicated to bringing the citizens of Felsen and Oren fresh news, which they deserve. The company headquarters is found at 2 Newport Boulevard. Vacancies are currently open, to apply please send a bird to Otto Von Habsburg or visit the office. The Company is also dedicated to publishing books of any kind. From Novels, to guides and spell tomes. This company supports Mylas for Mayor. THE FIRST ISSUE OF THE FELSEN TIMES, BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE ORENIAN PUBLISHING COMPANY LTD. OPC Ltd readily welcomes articles from aspiring writers, for a chance to appear in the next issue, please send your article to the publishers. (Via forum PM) Advertisements can be purchased, to find out more, contact the publishers. (Via forum PM) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
VL 298 Share Posted January 24, 2016 GOD BLESS. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaelan 1918 Share Posted January 24, 2016 Aelthus Laflyn, who has passed through the Istrian lands many times when marching to the Human Capital for war, gives a single nod. "Sounds like an absolute **** hole! And led by an oh so powerful Duke who apparently can rally a total of four men! As for his ego, I would guess that it's trying to compensate for something!" 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babadooks 566 Share Posted January 24, 2016 Joffrey nods in approval. "Oren has been missing one of these since ole Petrus." He says smiling gladly. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arteh 1837 Share Posted January 24, 2016 bey bey roswell 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KIIWIKILLA 342 Share Posted January 24, 2016 Arthur laughs. "Some more Vegetarianism propaganda." 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altiak 1648 Share Posted January 24, 2016 Edgar notes the changes in the stock market. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaelan 1918 Share Posted January 24, 2016 13 minutes ago, KIIWIKILLA said: Arthur laughs. "Some more Vegetarianism propaganda." A young Istrian boy looks to his liege lord upon standing up straight, having just completed the hard task of polishing his Lord's shoes. "M'lord, you've suddenly burst out laughing and spoke of something called 'Vegetarianism'? What is that? Perhaps it is time for you to get some rest if you're laughing at something like this! You are clearly not well!" 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Stigwig 1510 Share Posted January 24, 2016 "The Druscan market is BOOMING," grins an Ashford entrepreneur, swiftly reinvesting his stock. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ford 1996 Share Posted January 24, 2016 "Why hasn't anyone been investing in meme production? All of Oren would righteously invest in such a company, if it were to exist," states a weary-looking Southeron lad. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KIIWIKILLA 342 Share Posted January 24, 2016 ((https://gyazo.com/4e1129e6c5f5f51a792a89cb35263436 It seems the printers editor is the one engaging in the man to man affairs)) 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
VL 298 Share Posted January 24, 2016 7 minutes ago, KIIWIKILLA said: ((https://gyazo.com/4e1129e6c5f5f51a792a89cb35263436 It seems the printers editor is the one engaging in the man to man affairs)) The Church of the Canon would question as to why a Lord of Oren has been watching such naughty occurrences... 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Great Mongol Khan 1110 Share Posted January 24, 2016 14 minutes ago, VL said: The Church of the Canon would question as to why a Lord of Oren has been watching such naughty occurrences... "The Editor tried to seduce me when I beat his face in..." 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Org_The_Robo 288 Share Posted January 24, 2016 Ave Oren Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Orenian Company Share Posted January 24, 2016 3 minutes ago, Org_The_Robo said: Ave Oren Ave Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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