[Lore] Creation Story

[Kardel 1054]

The Story of Yarrkub and his Creations

 

 

 

6600 Years ago, there was a Dwarf named Yarrkub. Yarrkub was known as the "Big beard scientist" by his peers because he was extremely smart. Yarrkub's parents had died when he was young and his uncle had to take care of him. Yarrkub's uncle was very abusive, and Yarrkub came to despise him.

 

One day, when playing with liquids in his uncle's tavern, Yarrkub discovered something. Bleach kills when swallowed and glue also kills when swallowed. Yarrkub then discovered the answer. He told his uncle "one day, I will make a race that will rule you for 6000 years" Yarrkub's uncle retorted "if you create another type of dwarf in the world, you would be going against Yemekarr, and you will create a demon. This is impossible." Yarrkub answered "I know that which you do not!" He smugly rubbed his hands.

 

Yarrkub carried out his experiments in his laboratory six miles from the Hall of Urguan, where he wrote his famous Book of Squeaknology. He preached his ideologies to the public, which intimidated the local dwarf ruler, who banished him and his 42,000 followers to an island off of the coast of Athera named Aegis. There, Yarrkub discovered a process of hybrid breeding called "dogging" and began to breed dwarves with certain characteristics together. However, when Yarrkub's followers discovered that "dogging" included killing people, then 69% of them left Yarrkub.

 

Yarrkub died of a beard tumor at the age of 420 but his followers carried on his mission. It took 600 years to breed the first Orc, and then 200 years to breed an elf and then another 200 to breed the human.

 

 

Yarrkub's followers released the humans onto the Hall of Urguan, where they were wild and insane. So, the dwarves captured the Humans and stripped them off their clothes and threw them into the hot desert, where they traveled to Oren. The humans lived in caves and crawled on all fours like animals, eating raw meat and eachother's babies. Then, Thorin was sent to civilize the humans. He gave the humans technology and castles so they could lead a civilized lifestyle. Then, the humans went across the world on a killing rampage, and Yarrkub's 6000 year law began.

 

Picture of Yarrkub, courtesy of the Nation of Yemekarr:

 

 

This is

not a meme.

 

[KeatonUnbeaten 1103]

Gared reads it and just. . . doesn't even.

[Gladuos 869]

seems legit (kharajyr came soon after):

[Quavinir_Twiceborn 1050]

[chaotikal 2392]

i give it a brown cs go knife skin out of 7

[Nug 2011]

u tried so hard for that rep but u didnt try hard enough i guess

[Jentos 9425]

Lmao, feel like sucking a lamppost after reading this, +1

^{Its actually good! <:I}

[Kardel 1054]

Only two rep come on brothers of Yarrkub!

 

You can do better than that!

 

I want to be like Sandk(1)ng!!!

[Sky 0]

Top dwarven memes right here, hot out of the oven.

[Elad™ 560]

Moved to the Archive. It shall be sorted into the appropriate category shortly.