We MUST Be Better Than This

[Farryn 860]

Normally, I would avoid writing a post like this... since I don't want any backlash or hatred to be thrown at me... but with this being LotC, and especially given that we're right into the hellfire that is the recent scenario on the Forums, I know full well I will get backlash, but that's okay.  I want to share these words with the community as a whole.  I write this because I'm concerned... truly afraid... of what will happen to the server if we continue to act how we are right now. What will happen to every user I know that has been fuelling this situation with hate and the burning fury they have.

 

 So, I would really and truly appreciate if you all took a moment of your time to read what I have to say, maybe take my words into consideration, or show it to people who you feel as though needs to hear my words, or just ensure you do not fall into using hatred as a means to get an issue resolved. I know this may be a bit late into the situation but I was mentally exhausted when the scenario was in full swing, so now I'm ready to state my opinion on the matter.

 

Forum Moderators - I would personally ask on this very post that you ensure that not one argument breaks out. This thread is not about arguing or sharing opinions in a hateful manner. It's a thread that speaks my concerns about the server on this scenario, and the fact I discourage any forms of hatred. So if an argument does break out, I ask you remove the posts so that we get none of that hatred in here.

 

==========

 

A year or two ago, I've faced a similar situation where a close friend of mine was accused of pedophila and sexual harassment and.. well... I got lucky compared to others that sought to defend the one being accused. I did not receive the backlash many of them did. I defended my friend, actually spent the whole night in the voice call with my friend to ensure they did nothing reckless and that they received the support they needed.  I was heavily tired in the end and was ready to collapse, but it was worth it if it meant being there for that one person. I've had my share of people going "Oh but you don't really know them!" "It was likely a facade!", so on so forth. The thing is - you are right, I probably didn't really know them and it may have been a facade. But the thing is - I knew them through how I saw them. I've seen their face, heard their voice, that same person went as far as to help me through so many issues, especially my inability to socialise in voice chats at the time. I even met one member of their own family who welcomed me and I felt a part of that family whenever I got to interact with them. That same family member stated to me this person would never do such thing when I brought it up to them, and promised me they would ensure my friend received the support I couldn't give because I was in the UK. So I knew that person was innocent, but I got bashed for simply wanting to state my opinion. It was tough to see my friend leave, but deep down - I knew it was for the best. If anything, their lives grew better and I got to relax, knowing they would not face any hatred or pain from this server and its community... though I still face times when someone reminds me of what happened.

 

However - I am not going to address who is responsible for this current issue, nor will I state my own opinion regarding the staff, the people being accused, or go about blatantly attacking or accusing people. This thread isn't about targeting or being aggressive No, instead, I want to address the community as a whole and the fact I do not see the outbursts, the attacking, and the accusing as the way to resolve this. Why? Because this is something everyone needs to hear and consider as a whole, not just about this scenario.

 

Words have power and we all must use that power responsibly.

 

At times, words can help raise an issue or a concern, something that has clearly gone wrong and needs to be done about it. When done right, it can bring forth a wonderful change that can help many and ensure the issue is not repeat again. It shows unity, strength, and understanding amongst us all and that we can ensure we do not make the same mistake as we did in the past. It shows someone's willingness to speak out about what they feel as though is wrong and what they want to see improved on the matter. Though, it depends on what is being spoken about and how it is worded. As words that come forth as wanting to raise an issue can change into something that becomes the issue, and can ho horribly wrong.

 

When it comes to physically harming someone, such act can cause wounds on the body, but wounds do heal over time... but they can also leave scars, a reminder of what happened and what a person went through. The same is when it comes to words - our words have the potential to harm someone, to cause damage and affect their health and mental state, and that damage can remain with them for the rest of their lives. Sure, they are just words... but words can certainly hurt, especially if they are severe as being accused of something like this. When information is released, there is a very high chance that information can change, be warped, or perceived. We all have our own way of perceiving things and it's different from others, and should that information very clearly put someone in a bad light and stirs hatred in others, that information will then go onto another person and raise hatred in them. So on so forth until you have many people with this information. It causes what I call 'The Mob Effect', which can get extremely out of hand when it involves a large group of people - especially given the size of our community. Plus, with many more information being spread around, it leaves people with this big glump of information mashed up into some form of mess that no one can get full answers from, which can lead to different views and thoughts on the matter, some of which not true and can harm the wrong people than the ones actually doing these crimes.

 

Why did I stay up with my friend all through the night? Because I've heard of stories of people being falsely accused of this crime and sometimes they don't end happily for the person in question, worse in fact, and even if my friend truly did these things - I still didn't want them to suffer immensely and perhaps escalate to extreme measures. I don't want this to happen to any of the accused. No human being must have their life ruined or even opting to taking it because of accusations, whenever they be true or not Instead, I want those who have truly committed these crimes to accept they have done wrong and accept punishment for their actions with full awareness they committed wrong and never have that punishment revoked or changed. But everyone on here needs to know that pointing fingers at people, stating accusations, stating someone is harassing someone despite that they aren't... it's only going to make things worse for everyone, the accused... the accuser... those affected by this issue, everyone will be affected and not in the best way. When it comes to something like this - it's something that should never EVER be taken lightly, nor solved by a Mob Effect. It will only make it harder to actually solve the matter at hand and ensure those who did wrong are handled correctly.

 

With what's been going on within the past day and hours, I'm not even sure if I can decide whenever the accused is innocent or guilty, based on the information being spread, whenever the staff are to blame or not, and so on. But what I do know, what I can truly say from the bottom of my heart, is this - this isn't how we should resolve this matter.

 

Everyone needs to stop with the targeting, the outcries, and such. I understand full well the crime being mentioned is utmost severe and the fact it has occurred on this server sickens me both as a user and as a fellow adult. But must we truly come to this?! Targeting people left, right, and centre, going out of our way to release outburst after outburst? Spreading rumours and potentially misunderstood information that can potentially result in innocent users becoming the accused? Because at this rate - no issues will be solved, only more issues will pile up... and no one will benefit from it. People will be hurt, mentally and emotionally... and sometimes that hurt will remain with them for the rest of their lives. This may be a Minecraft server, but the bigger picture is that it involves real people with real lives and real emotions. We need to calm down and think more rationally, within reason and in a way that does not harm people. A way that can truly end the matter at hand and protect members of our community.

 

I use to be like this, I had times where I targeted people in a mad rage and managed to stir up many others to my cause. I made LotC hell for some people because I didn't like them, I despised them because of a simple matter. It was hell and in the end, I can openly admit that I am ashamed of myself for such. I am truly ashamed that I used hatred and fuelling people as a mean of resolving an issue, and I regret it now as I can see there were other ways to handle that matter.

If there is one thing that I've learnt while playing as Elvira Naromis on here, and in my own personal experiences in real life and interacting with people - it's this.

 

Hatred only breeds more hatred, and it will blind people to the chances of a more peaceful resolve to an issue.

 

I can see it happening here - many users resorting to being fulled by the hate of others to spread more hatred around the server, whenever it be intentionally or not to spread such. Soon, they'll be unable to realise that perhaps there's a more peaceful way to resolve things like this, to ensure that this does not happen again and that we can keep our fellow users safe from people who truly intend to do the most despicable acts such as this. They'll become blind from how their words will be impacting the server as a whole and of many of the players around them... and the damage they are all causing. Both staff and the playerbase alike can think of ways to ensure our community is better than this, we're all capable of it. Not just staff because they're staff. All of us.

In the end, we're all LotC users and we all hold the exact responsibility in ensuring that our community is one of safety and of understanding. We all came for this server to roleplay, to live different lives that we'd never experience in the real world, to share the same love of fantasy as many others.

 

Not... this. Lashing out and going to blame a person or two because of personal dislikes or issues, or going as far as to unleash a full hell storm on the forums... this server full of hatred, slander, and aggression is not the LotC we all wanted to play on. This is not the LotC I wanted to be on.

 

In the end, I just came to LotC so that I could roleplay, escape from real life and experience new stories and characters with many other people who shared the same passion for fantasy as me. Perhaps even learn more about how to develop a character by actually playing a character that has gone through change (which actually really worked and helped me out). As both a writer and as a human being, I truly got to appreciate and admire the creativity of others, whenever it be how to handle a situation, the lore they wrote, the characters they created, and so on. Yet, to see those very same people I admired begin to resort to hatred and fulled anger without the moment's hesitation. It... truly makes me ashamed to be a part of this community so fulled by hatred and desperation to win or to share their anger. I did not come to the server to see this... and writing this now has really made me realise how much everyone has fallen.

 

So if there is one thing I can say  and leave off on to everyone reading this. It would be this and I hope you all consider my words, even if I am just one person and one little voice amongst the many.

 

 

We are better than this. We must be better than this. Only then, can we actually become a better community and truly handle the issues at hand.

 

(This post came about after reading Leorabbit99's thread- please read his post also)

Spoiler

 

 

[Cornivore 1292]

Amen!

[L0rdLawyer 2272]

Indeed,

8 minutes ago, Cornivore said:

Amen!

 

[Bucky_24 132]

It breaks down pretty simply for me, let the mods worry about moderating, and if you're a player just play. It's pretty sad that it's hard to find good RP, but you can find DOZENS of multi-paragraph posts where players have their pitchforks and want to do some ole fashion rioting. If y'all spent half as much effort working on your RP skills as you do crafting that 'expert opinion' dis on the staff, we'd have one hell of a server.

[Unwillingly 18103]

As much as I love this post, I personally feel that our community is too far gone in this cesspool of hatred and anger towards one another to actually come together.  I wrote a similar post a while back, addressing the issues in the community and how we can make it better. Nothing changed from that post, despite getting quite a few replies. Stuff like this has been written time and time again, but I highly doubt it will change much unless an admin writes something (which we all know won't happen now). It's flat out depressing.

However, that's not to say I disagree with what you're saying, Farryn. I don't. I play on LOTC because I like to be creative and play as somebody else. I have attachments to my characters, like a lot of other people do. It's sad to see that people have given up what they loved doing because of how hateful and cruel other people can be. A lot of my friends have said that in the time they've quit LOTC, their lives have improved a ton. That says a lot imo.

But you know what warms my heart? Those rare moments when we, as a community, come together on one thing. I'm not even talking about Annie's pedophilia thread. A while back, someone wrote a forum post and explained their disability and how it would affect their RP. We all kindly came together and gave her support, and that was the best damn thing I've ever seen from our community. We can come together and be kind, it just takes an effort. We need to make a change. I just want people to have fun and be happy on LOTC ?

(I'm not good at words, but I hope I got my point across.)

[_Elrith_ 4525]

Another post that isn't getting enough credit. +1

[Praetor 1550]

A neighbourhood doesn't become better if the administration doesn't invest into it. A store's clientele doesn't improve and a school doesn't become better if the staff doesn't try to make it. Reversely, they'll decline if quality of staff declines. If the community is like this, the roots of the problem go back years, to the staff. If you want to fix it, it needs to start with the staff.

 

Inane words like "We should be better than this," are just idealistic irrelevance that doesn't change anything.

[Dromui 755]

Great post.

 

However, with the recent pedophile accusations, proof provided, and ban; I don't think this applies. Pedophiles aren't people. You wanna **** kids? You should be put down like the animal you are. You just randomly sperg out on the forums or act dumb in game? Yeah, you're right. Don't need to burn em at the stake for it.

[winterblood 11181]

Pedophiles are the filth of this world.  There was evidence of the piece of **** acting like the degenerate they are and several victims have stepped up to share their story with the people that mattered in the situation.  I don't normally go out and "attack" people in this community unless there is actual evidence proving they deserve it, such as that """"person"""" having the desire to **** children and manipulate them, completely ruining and ******* up their lives.

 

If you're a pedophile or some other poor excuse for a human, you deserve to choke.

[TeaLulu 1783]

LOTC's ownership has a moral and ethical obligation to protect the children that it's community targets as it's main audience and to educate and encourage victims to report their abusers via appropriate methods depending on their region of address.

 

The "outcries" and "rage" would not be so much of an issue if LOTC did not have a lengthy history of rugsweeping accusations and employing individuals accused and/or proven to be making victims of children as volunteer staff members, without proper protocol in place for reporting and handling of issues.

 

The threads attempting to "silence" the outcry involving this serious issue are incredibly inappropriate given the circumstances and in many ways can and will discourage other victims from coming forward given that they will feel as if they are just "causing an outcry" and that they will not be believed and may be ostracized from the community for reporting. 

 

Individuals in the United States of America who have been victims of online enticement for sexual acts of children, molestation of children, the sharing, possession, or manufacturing of child pornography, or unsolicited obscene material sent to a child (that is non-requested, or where the victim has been coerced into "allowing" it), or individuals aware of victims of the above or any other crimes involving children (under the age of 16) should file a report via https://report.cybertip.org , even if the abuser is located overseas or not in the United States.

 

The demands to cease the "rage" must stop as they will continue to discourage victims from coming forward and allow grooming of children for sexual acts to continue.

[Burnsy 437]

Moved to The Great Library. It shall be sorted into the appropriate category shortly.

 

If you feel this is a mistake, please contact myself or any FM and we'll restore it.