A Message to Dunshire, circa 1685

[NotEvilAtAll 10906]

((produced in collaboration with Mystery_Uialben))

Spoiler

 

[!] A lengthy note is pinned to the Dunshire Noticeboard, scribbled in a somewhat fancy ink.

Important Message!

~The Sherif, Deputy, and Elders gather together in The Drunken Duck to chat~

 

Dear Weefolk of Dunshire, This is your Sheriff, Rollo Applefoot, sending out a personal letter from my heart to all of you. It seems as though there has been lots of commotion going about the safety of weefolk, and talks about whether the values of being proper, overrule the values of common sense, and staying safe from biggin's invading our land. I am here to tell you that, the problem does not lie in us converting to the values of biggin's, but instead lays in the way we go about treating biggin's in our new land. Which is why I’ve come up with new regulations for...

 

HOW A HALFLING STAYS SAFE IN DUNSHIRE!:

-If you see a Biggin' walk into Dunshire with armor, or weapons drawn, immediately walk away. Starting now, all Biggin's whom walk into Dunshire with swords or armor are to immediately have to speak with the Sheriff. Else they face immediate interrogation from the Sheriff and his police golems.

-If you are the only halfling in the village, and you see Biggin's walk inside.. LEAVE DUNSHIRE. It is not smart in ANY CITY to simply walk up to a mob group, if you're all alone.

-If you wish to be a halfling that keeps the Shire safe, speak with me, Rollo Applefoot directly. The golems and I aren't always around, you can't expect us to solve all your problems. If you want to be more well equipped for biggins walking into the Shire, I will help you.

-As part of some halfling's complaints, the druids of Dunshire have started to create a wall around the premise of the lands, so that way it is harder for Biggin's can't easily walk in. This personally does not make Dunshire any safer in my opinion. We have places to hide in Dunshire for a reason, if you're scared of a Biggin killing ya, use them.

 

As your sheriff, and as self-proclaimed Protector of Halflings, I have a duty to keep you all safe. However, we must all work together if we plan on keeping out young'ins, our old'uns, and our regular halflings safe. Take a moment halflings, and realize not, "What can we rid of to make us stronger", but instead "What strengths do we have to make us better?" We are just as powerful as any armored up Biggin', and I have given my life to making sure us halflings have the prestige that WE DESERVE.

 

GLORY TO DUNSHIRE. GLORY TO WEEFOLK.

 

- Signed, Rollo Applefoot, Sheriff of Dunshire

[!] The image ends with a picture of the Dunshire Rabbit.

[CanadianKiwiFlight 1901]

- This message is signed, approved, and delivered by Rollo Applefoot, Defender of Dunshire, Protector of Halflings, Slayer of Manipulative Mages, Gross Undead, and Ungrateful Biggins. Sheriff of Weefolk, and Head of the Dunshire Police Force.

[Unwillingly 18129]

“It’s weird how they deny protection from any group that offers it to them, so they’re left struggling to survive. It’s almost like Sutica actually gave them protection at one point.” Cyrene pondered, soon tossing the notice away.

[NotEvilAtAll 10906]

1 minute ago, Unwillingly said:

“It’s weird how they deny protection from any group that offers it to them, so they’re left struggling to survive. It’s almost like Sutica actually gave them protection at one point.” Cyrene pondered, soon tossing the notice away.

“We’re lettin’ t’eh Edic’ move back in’o Dunshire if t’ey wish. ‘n weh ‘ave Golems ter ‘elp us as well. We’re nay s’rugglin’ ter survive, t’is jus’ tha’ ah few o’ us don’ feel all tha’ safe when t’eh Golems ‘n t’eh Sheriff are nay by t’eir side.” responds Daisy Applefoot, Deputy of Dunshire

[Hobbs_Burrows 497]

12 minutes ago, Unwillingly said:

“It’s weird how they deny protection from any group that offers it to them, so they’re left struggling to survive. It’s almost like Sutica actually gave them protection at one point.” Cyrene pondered, soon tossing the notice away.

 

So finally ye reveal why ye cause so much trouble in Dunshire. Why are ye all still so bitter about being rejected by Halflings? Yer like my ex wife! Face it, we have prospered in Dunshire, and none of us wanted to live in yer awful city. We have had protection from orcs twice, humans once, two golems, and a guild called The Edict or something. Stop being so bitter.

[Unwillingly 18129]

2 hours ago, Hobbs_Burrows said:

 

So finally ye reveal why ye cause so much trouble in Dunshire. Why are ye all still so bitter about being rejected by Halflings? Yer like my ex wife! Face it, we have prospered in Dunshire, and none of us wanted to live in yer awful city. We have had protection from orcs twice, humans once, two golems, and a guild called The Edict or something. Stop being so bitter.

“What trouble have I caused? I’ve been there once, and that was to look around. In fact, I recall a time a few of your lot strolled into my city to show off your golems, who proceeded to spew racist remarks towards human and elves.” Cyrene responds, chuckling.

[Viltaren 236]

2 hours ago, Hobbs_Burrows said:

 

So finally ye reveal why ye cause so much trouble in Dunshire. Why are ye all still so bitter about being rejected by Halflings? Yer like my ex wife! Face it, we have prospered in Dunshire, and none of us wanted to live in yer awful city. We have had protection from orcs twice, humans once, two golems, and a guild called The Edict or something. Stop being so bitter.

“I am sorry?” Lily asks, tilting her head to the side.”We dont have any record of any sutican citizen or government official even coming to this town before our visit now. What we do have records of, is the halflings requesting and utilizing land from Sutica in Axios, and then asking again to live in our city. you built and entire village for yourselves within our walls, we did not do that. Though I cannot blame you for wanting to leave thanks to those awful people once upon a time.”

[NotEvilAtAll 10906]

Just now, Unwillingly said:

“What trouble have I caused? I’ve been there once, and that was to look around. In fact, I recall a time a few of your lot strolled into my city to show off your golems, who proceeded to spew racist remarks towards human and elves.” Cyrene responds, chuckling.

“Eh, naybody knows why t’eh Golem does tha’. Weh don’ realleh ‘ave t’eh abili’eh ter reconfigure t’eh Golems anehtoime soon so weh jus’ warn aneh elves en’erin’ Dunshire ter be on t’eh look ou’ fer t’eh Golem” The Deputy would respond, referring to the warning sign on the Dunshire Entrance.

 

“Also, please remember tha’ t’eh Dunshire Police Depar’men’ is nay responsible fer aneh ac’ions o’ t’eh Golem, seein’ as weh don’ realleh fulleh con’rol t’eh thin’”

[Snowypaw 36]

Rosetta Puddifoot tightens her grip on the now crumpled, and slightly dirty paper. Her nose wrinkles in disgust, while the expression on her face remains somewhat neutral and blank. ”Maybeh Dunshire ain’ ah safe place nay more fo’ meh teh raise meh fu’ure children in.”  The Halfling woman mutters to herself, suddenly looking aghast as she realizes something. ”Will oi ‘ave’a move somewheh else?”