May Tomorrow be better than Today (Beetroot News, Volume 14)

[NotEvilAtAll 10906]

Spoiler

 

[!] A halfling newspaper finds its way into your mailbox!

The Beetroot News!

~Better than the rest!~

 

Contents:

~Polo’s Death~
~Polo’s Funeral~

~Sean’s Death~
~Halflings in Haelun’or?~

 

~Polo’s Death~

~The halflings in mourning upon finding Polo’s body~

Polo Gardner, son of the Thain, has been murdered by the vile and evil Kat Comb Applefoot. Thanks to an investigation by BOOSE, and my own eyewitness account of the scene, we know this for certain. We managed to apprehend Kat Comb Applefoot later, after it was realized that he shaved his own head in order to avoid recognition and thus escape punishment.

~Kat Comb in the slammer!~

However, all good things must come to an end. It seems that somehow, Kat Comb managed ter give us more trouble even in a cell. It seems that this Kat Comb lad, known for having eaten raw flesh from the sewers previously, is not only deranged, but dangerous and deranged.

He managed to set the BOOSE headquarters, where he was held, on fire in an attempt to escape. He did not get away, thankfully. The burrow collapsed upon him, his own vandalism ending his life. According to the testimony of the Thain and others present, Kat Comb Applefoot died right there in that fire. Only time will tell us if he stays dead.

 

~Polo’s Funeral~

Spoiler

 

Though it may be sad to finally say goodbye, it was what had to be done. Polo’s body has gone on one final adventure. This sea-loving young boy may now journey across the seas in the afterlife. It’s what he would have wanted.

 

~Sean’s Death~

Sean Puddlefoot, a well loved halfling bartender o’ Brandybrook, has left us as well. His will gave final words to many halflings, as well as some advice for the rest of us:

1 – Stay armed, always

2 – Stay drunk, always

3 – Stay safe always

4 – Stay wild, always!

While the first piece of advice about stayed armed may not sit well with our treasured culture, the rest is certainly something we can all take note of.

 

~Halflings in Haelun’or?~

~Looks like even bigguns don’ make ships as sturdy as our Spicy Shrimp!~

On a whim, oi decided ter visit the human land of Norland, seeing as I’d never been there before. What occurred after that trip are some moments I will never forget.

There, in Morsgrad, I met a lad goin’ by Ulfgrim. He was a new recruit of the army there, standin’ watch by the gate. We chatted for a while, until he mentioned that he knew of some other halfling lassie and asked me if oi did as well. When t’a name came up, Greta Goodbarrel, oi knew that t’is was some new fella I’ve nay seen before! He led me to the home of this mysterious Greta halfling...

It turns out that Greta Goodbarrel was in Haelun’or! I was much shocked ter learn of this. We had a good chat in the home of some pleasant High Elf named Valorin. I do hope that Greta moves to Brandybrook one day, for I’m sure we’d all love to see a new face in the village!

 

That’s all for now folks!

-Filibert Applefoot,

local halfling know-it-all.

[cappor 563]

Bilbo sat in his Orenian rocking chair as the news arrived. Flipping through the pages he’d stumble upon Sean’s news “A good lad ‘e was”

[Notic 953]

Up in the Wheat Fields of Knox, Sean asks Polo to dictate the article to him.