WANTED: The San Luciano Vandals

[Caelria 2619]

Spoiler

 

Wanted: The San Luciano Vandals

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Artistic rendering of the incident by Scriptor Libris X. Nihilo

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Let this proclamation serve as the guiding words of Lord Marshal Joseph Brandt, as penned by the scribe Libris X. Nihilo, spoken in good spirit and under witness of his lordship the Prince Oliver Renault and the eyes of the most holy GOD. 

 

A well regulated militia, being essential to the security of our state,

the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed. 

 

Let the heathen profligate know that there is no place for licentious, homosexual vandalism within Savoy. Ours is the cradle of man, a nation under GOD, and a city on a hill, for the ill omens of the heathen abroad know no succor here as we are a pious and holy people. Work is already underway to cleanse the monument known as the Brandt Pole of this defacement, but the Esheveurd Brigade will not rest until the heathen responsible is brought to justice, for without sound knowledge that the profligate is off our streets the peace of the city cannot be guaranteed.

 

On this, the 1839th Saint’s year, we issue a proclamation of wantedness for one such agent of devilry within this blessed city; desired dead or delivered to the ESHEVEURD BRIGADE alive for the crimes of vandalism, licentiousness, defacement of public property, disturbing the peace, vandalism of a public monument, suspected homosexuality, and suspected witchcraft. 

 

The San Luciano Vandals are thought to go by the names Doc and Coral, though it is likely that these are either aliases or false names meant to mislead investigators. Expert accounts infer that this is likely the behavior of Elves or Elf-Adjacent figures, and that they are likely residents of Elysium or Yong Ping. Citizens are suggested to be wary of men wearing pink or baby blue, robes, overly tight trousers, or donning make-up as is commonly the behavior of Elves and Elf-Adjacent individuals. 

 

Citizens, sellswords, and hunters of monsters are encouraged to redouble their prayers for the safety and sanctity of Savoy that we might have GOD's blessing in the San Luciano Vandals' apprehension, and to report any suspicious behavior to the ESHEVEURD BRIGADE, which is offering a bounty of fifty mina to any folk hero who would bring the San Luciano Vandals' living bodies or heads to the Esheveurd Bastille that they might be fined or crucified.

 

Praise GOD. 

 

 

Signed,

Lord Marshal Joseph Brandt

Scriptor Libris X. Nihilo

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Savoy Directorate of Official Printing and Publications

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[DelaneyG 1279]

reserved

[Ryloth 4321]

Haskir reviews the paper with a blank expression. Settling it aside, he then closes the curtains to his window, shadowing his pink and baby blue trousers neatly-stacked within his home. "Nothing to see here."

[Conqueror 424]

Sylvester Daedalus reads the notice; squinting through his helmet. "How shameful!" He'd instinctively look up, gazing around the square. Just then, he'd remember the white-jacketed individual whom he'd seen earlier near the pole! And a women...

[Kiiwi 1440]

Selvia clutches her purse.

[GoodGuyMatt 7113]

Ernst Barclay would prepare to take his Landsers on patrol as the notice found its way on his hands. He chuckled a bit as he looked about his men "Guess we have another thing we can do right now"

[Pancho 4197]

Kosher laughs at the missive, brandishing his cleaver, “Looks like someone needs to be saved here”

[King_Kunuk 3022]

The highly homophobic High Elf gasps when he reads this atrocity. As an ally of Savoy from the Silver State, he shall keep an eye out to end this rising threat.

[Booyah 122]

Would giggle to himself slightly, Morpheus would withdraw his reaper spinning it around a few times in his hand. "Who's head do I have to slice off" he would murmur to himself, defending Doc and Coral.

[PixlHoopa 177]

A closeted homosexual shudders, reading the missive. Truly, fear was sparked in him.