[PK] EIN HALB GELEBTES LEBEN

[crazedpudding 2512]

A LIFE HALF LIVED

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Frederica, Princess in Reinmar

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“We are heather; we will endure after the harshest hoarfrost and the most devastating wildfire. You will endure.”

 

FREDERICA wondered what her hands had looked like, before blades, pens, and bowstrings. 

 

She couldn’t remember if the little divot on her third finger, where her pen grip always rested, had always been there or if she’d worn the flesh paper-thin with every word she wrote. The little silver scars from her bowstring, clustered on her right hand, had appeared sometime in her thirties, and she wasn’t quite certain when she’d gotten them. 

 

Her left hand, though. She knew where those scars came from.

 

Line after line had been cut into her palm, oaths given and oaths taken. Frederica had known, from the first time she drew a blade across it, that the skin there would warp and thicken. Her blood had dripped from knife after knife, and marked the forearms of many a man. It had dripped on the Temple floors when a cross of burning oil marked her brow, and Frederica hadn’t flinched away from it. 

 

Not the searing of her skin, nor the rending of it. She never had, and she never would.

 

“You were right, Frederica. I fought for myself.”

 

Her days had always been long, stretching far past the dead of night, until all her candles had burned low. She rose with the sun, and in her youth, the fields were the first of her concerns. It was her hands that first broke the ground of this new land, and it was her hands that planted the first seed.

 

Next came the people. A people she loved beyond measure, a people she would give anything for. It had brought her pride, young as she was, to see joy run through the streets of a new city, a city of their own. The years wore on that way, with delight, and though the pride had never faded, elation gave way to weariness.

 

There was a space at her side, empty when it should have been full, a frayed knot instead of a metal band.

 

Adalfriede, the only mother she’d ever known, the only mother she could remember, had done her best to fill that yawning gap beside her as best she could. Frederica had never been quite sure if she was succeeding until she was staring down at the bloody stain her mother’s corpse had left on the hardwood. 

 

She’d known for certain then. 

 

Alfred, for all his faults, had never wavered in his affection for his brother, Leon. They were a pair, two fearsome princes forging a path no Reinmaren had ever before walked. She wondered what her father thought of her now, half a century into her life.

 

“The day your heart frosts over is the day you should be worried.”

 

She remembered so much, and so little, all at once.

 

There were things she ought to remember, and couldn’t, and things she ought to forget, and couldn’t. She remembered the first of many insults levelled against her, and forgotten the first of the compliments. Aches she’d wished had died with the people who inflicted them, words she’d longed to hear only to find them missing from her memories.

 

Erwin the elder, her twin, trailing after the woman who would become his wife. Hearing news of Reinhardt secondhand after he’d left for the Church’s service. Maud and her teasing, and how sunlight caught on the hair she’d always kept short, her antithesis. Juliya and the last words they’d ever spoken to each other. Dietrich, with his bruised face and battered hands, and the tears that had been wept into her shoulder.

 

The way Adalfriede had trembled after the burning of Whitespire, hidden from the world in Kretzen’s clinic, was burned into her memory, but she had forgotten the prayer she’d whispered into her mother’s ears that had brought her peace. The bite to Leon’s voice the first time they’d fought overshadowed the details of when he’d taught her to dance a month later. Her eyes, as cloudy as they were now, had seen things so clearly in those terrible, golden days.

 

She remembered dear friends whose names she’d forgotten, and she remembered every heartache and forgotten every resolution. Half of what she could call to mind wasn’t what she wanted to think back on, and half of what she couldn’t were things she desperately wanted to recall.  

 

“I’ve prayed for a grandson, and I’ve received one. I am so pleased with him and his mother.”

 

For all that she could and couldn’t remember, she’d never forget the untarnished glow her son had brought into her life with his first breath. 

 

He clung to her as he grew, perhaps more than Leon would have liked, but Frederica had cherished his every moment so dearly. Everything she did became for him, and a second wind blew through her sails so easily with his rare smiles.

 

Erwin was grown now, a prince in his own right, with dearest Wilhelmina at his side. Sometimes, when she looked at him, she saw glimpses of the man he would be without her. It brought pain and fierce pride in equal measure, and sometimes, she thought back and wondered if Leon was right all those years ago when he claimed to have already gotten what he wanted, Erwin’s little hand clasped tight in his.

 

If, indeed, all she was here for was to bring forth the next generation. 

 

But then, Erwin would turn to her and smile, and Frederica would think perhaps. Perhaps her only purpose had been to twine her blood with Brandt’s, but it had been she who raised their son. It was she he looked to now, and it was she who had succeeded where other women had failed.

 

She had mothered a Prince in Reinmar well enough that, perhaps, he would mourn her when she died.

 

“It is not weak, your softness. It is kind. Healing. It belongs with you.”

 

Her heart ached in the space beneath her sternum.

 

It was scarred, burned, and frozen around the edges, but at the very least, the center remained the same warm, untouched flesh as it had when the world was new to her eyes. She woke as she always did, with the need to do something burning in her ribs, but she couldn’t figure out what for the life of her.

 

The whispers of dead men still echoed in her ears from the night before, in dreams of loved ones long gone. For a while, Frederica remains still, staring up at the green canopy above her head. 

 

This had been her father’s bed once. Perhaps, in the future, it would belong to another with the name Barclay von Reinmar. But now, it was Frederica who lay there for long moments and simply breathed.

 

Her very bones ached beneath her skin, despite the soft mattress under her back. For the first time in ages, Frederica let the burning in her chest subside just a little, as her eyes shut against the weak sunlight filtering in through the windows of her bedroom. 

 

For once, perhaps, she would rest a while longer. 

 

Erwin would be able to handle this morning without her.

 

---

AN MEINE ERBEN | TO MY HEIRS

Issued by the Princess in Reinmar

In the year of our Lord 2010

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N MEINE ERBEN,

 

I, FREDERICA, Princess in Reinmar and of Sutica, daughter of Alfred, declare this to be my last will and testament. Being sound of mind and body, I leave the following to my inheritors:

 

To my only son, ERWIN, PRINCE IN REINMAR, I leave the following titles: the Principality of Sutica, the Duchy of Reinmar, the Counties of Freimark and Kretzen, the Baronies of Madvon and Freising, and the Lordships of Sankt Johannsburg, Wilheburg, Erwinsburg, Freiburg, and Rozenfeld. I leave my pipe, carved by Adelmar von Kanunsberg, and the living doll, Friedrich. I also leave all my accumulated weaponry, including Gran’s Blight and my war spear, all other worldly possessions not mentioned here, and the accompanying letter.

 

To my daughter by law, WILHELMINA, PRINCESS OF MINITZ, I leave the portion of my personal collection of jewelry not mentioned here, to be used as she sees fit until her death, and then added to the Royal Treasury to be passed down with the rest of the Crown Jewels. I leave to her the dagger Ørneklo, to be passed down from consort to consort, hand in hand with Gran’s Blight. I leave the original copy of So You’ve Married a Barclay to be passed down from consort to consort. I leave to her the collection of correspondence belonging to both myself and my esteemed father, Alfred, to be preserved and stored as she sees fit. I also leave the living doll made in my likeness and the accompanying letter.

 

To my sister by law, MOTHER JOSEFINA, I leave the Blessed Cross of Lorraine from my collection of personal jewels. I also leave my faithful hound, Gunther, the pair of goats I have kept, and the accompanying letter. 

 

To my brother by law, ESTMUND VON EHRENWALD, I leave the necklace Libertas Manet from my collection of personal jewels for him to pass down within the Tribe von Ehrenwald. 

 

To my faithful hirdman, SIR VARIK VON WESENBURG, I leave the sword Khar’s Honor and the accompanying letter.

 

To my nephew, OSWALD, BARON VON WESENBURG, I leave the ring Der Turm von Sturmweber, which I have crafted for him personally.

 

To my niece, OLIVIYA, PRINCESS OF HANSETI-RUSKA, I leave the Blossom Emerald necklace from my collection of personal jewels, my aurum letter opener, and the accompanying letter.

 

To the good CONAN, THEGN OF SOLGAARD, I leave my knitting needles, a pair of mittens, and the Comprehensive Book of Prayers, Volumes I and II, transcribed originally for my dear father by my own hand. I leave also the ring Der Saphir-Bär which I have crafted for him personally, and the accompanying letter.

 

To the good JAY AMARANTH, I leave five bottles of assorted drinks, a pair of mittens, and the accompanying letter.

 

---

 

WER RASTET, DER ROSTET

HER ROYAL HIGHNESS, FREDERICA, GMSTSR, Princess in Reinmar and of Sutica, Duchess of Reinmar, Countess of Freimark and Kretzen, Baroness of Madvon and Freising, Lady of Sankt Johannsburg, Neuberg, Wilheburg, Erwinsburg, Freiburg and Rozenfeld, High Chieftess of the Reinmaren

[juliaINC 592]

Wilhelmina sat motionless over her desk, ink-stained hands laying still beside a pen and quill. The chamber was cold, the northern wind creeping through the cracks. How could it be, that her mother by law and by heart was no more? 

The wind brushed against her back, a hollow echo of Frederica’s comforting hand. The chill felt sharper without her warmth, the silence emptier without her voice.

 

My sweet girl. This world is a difficult one for women in our position.

You are Wilhelmina von Brandthof, Fürstin von Minitz. That cannot be taken away. Not even Erwin has the right to take it away, because I am the one who gave it to you.

 

Her chest ached with the weight of absence, the void pressing against her ribs. But to rest was to falter, and Frederica had never faltered.  Suddenly, the intense scratching of pen on parchment shattered the stillness, her hands moving as if to ward off the silence itself.

 

O, most radiantly golden Chieftess, 

Where art thou, if not here?

Thy spirit lingers, ever boundless,

Where art Frederica, when she is not near?

 

O, a stream steadfast since times of old,

She winds between the trees,

A fire to still the biting cold,

Her laughter hums among the bees.

 

O, the roof against the tempest,

She keeps the rain at bay,

The wall that stands unyielding,

And turns the strife away.

 

O, the tender of this earth,

She shapes the path we tread,

A mother’s hand to tend the hearth,

And calm the storms we dread.

[zuziee 4004]

Philippa von Reuss lit a candle in honor of the late Princess, humming a prayer in her absence. 

[Random 1697]

Spoiler

Adalwin stood in the Drunken Maiden, Kretzen's tavern, when his sixth sense informed him of this passing.
The Reinmaren fell to his knees in disbelief, for Erwin @Timerwould be the ruler of Reinmar now.
Though perhaps this was a chance, too - to rid Reinmar of that fiend once and for all, before he finds a heir.

 

[Sarven 2619]

Gottfried traced the cross across his breast "GOTT be with you, your serene highness."

[HeyitsNano 1582]

Spoiler

nooo rip pudding <3

 

[garentoft 9265]

Tomasz van ve Karoswald falls onto his knees in despair! Frederica had taught him so much, well, only baking, but it meant a lot to him. He would miss her, most certainly.

[Mestvin 949]

Blackheart would ponder how evil it would be to rise yet another royal as an undead minion.

[Mady 3771]

Oliviya wept for her tante.

[Morphine 823]

Oswald sat by candle light, reading the distressing news. This will surely be remembered as a dark day in the histories.
"I can only hope to make you proud, my Princess and blood of my kin."

With his ink, he began drafting papers intent on being delivered to his family members, wherever they may be, to reconvene prepare for the imminent funeral.

[Toffee 2843]

 

At a peace summit, Gelimar and Theoderic agreed to end the feud and unite their tribes through the marriage of Gelimar’s daughter to Theoderic’s son. Thus, Galswinthe and Amaleric were wed, and their son Rodimar was trained to become chief of the overall tribe.

 

It was no easy thing, being the in-between. What must Galswinthe and Amaleric felt, to be mere vessels for the great Reinmaren legacy carried in the veins of their son? It was Rodimar who would unite the tribe, Rodimar who would rule them all as Chieftain. The great Gelimar and Theoderic, the great Rodimar… and the portal between them, the son and the daughter.

 

If Erwin was Rodimar reborn, the role of Galswinthe fell to Frederica. And yet, she had never been a placeholder. Not in Adalfriede’s eyes. While Leon fussed over Erwin, his pride and his legacy, imparting on him the great burden of his destiny, Adalfriede looked to Frederica. Her daughter’s strength was a silent one, as was the strength of most women. She bore her crown with a quiet dignity and suffered the stings and indignities lavished upon female rulers with a grace Adalfriede could never teach her; that was something she was born with, something in her royal blood that even Adalfriede with all her manipulations could never hope to emulate. Not truly.

 

The histories might remember Alfred and Leon, the founders, and Erwin, the Prince who was promised, but Adalfriede would always remember Frederica. The diligent little girl, the noble Seneschal, the Princess. The Queen.

[alienescence 1415]

Mother Josefina ran through the city square of Kretzen, her cries echoing through the streets and reaching the Reinmaren tavern. Memories flooded her mind, reminding her of her childhood with Frederica. Frederica had always been there for her, helping her with any problems or simply listening when she needed to talk about anything and everything. 

 

"I will never forget you, Fred. The new generation will hear about you, and the person you were."

 

The priestess muttered to herself in a quiet prayer, her cross between her clasped hands. Soon after, she visited her son, seeking to console both him and herself. 

[ViewerDiscretion_ 248]

Varik's shoulders slumped forward as the news of Frederica's death reaches him. His gaze falls upon the fields of wheat, waving in the harsh winds of his Northern home. As he stares, his mind wanders, remembering his time serving the Princess. Truly, he had considered her a friend, as well as an inspirational figure in Reinmar. Her presence will be sorely missed, surely.

[Timer 1978]

Erwin Barclay stepped onto a cliffside overlooking Reinhurst; he'd maintained a solid composure, and a placid look spread across his countenance. The heavy winds would blow his shaggy blond mullet back, and the rain would splatter on his face. "I shall do the ancestors proud; I shall do mother proud."

[Ninjay 1186]

Once again, and far too soon, did Jay find himself seated above the streets and staring off at nothing in particular. Once again, did he try and lighten his own mood.

Five bottles? Ha! I barely drink in the first place.

. . .

A useless distraction, short lived at best.

Another, among all those whom he recalled being there those many decades ago when he had first arrived, had departed.

The man had known of at least some of the troubles endured by Frederica, perhaps more than most. Likely more than he should have known, in truth. And with such knowledge in mind, he always had possessed some respect for her and how she carried herself, in spite of it all.

I wish I could have helped you more, Frederica. I hope the little I did was enough to make life better, in some way.

After reading and tucking away that last letter given unto him, some final things came. First, some waves of doubt, followed by resignation, then concluded with resolve. This was accompanied by a wry smile, as he looked over at the palace across the city.

If he ever comes back, he'll be dealt with. I promise.

He did not recall if he had sworn such to her when she had made such a request in person. But, he swore it now.