The Very Simple Guide On How To Be A Goblin

[The Cleaning Crew 571]

Preface:

I've noticed that there seem to be a lot more goblins around than there used to, and that's fantastic. I've always wanted there to be a few more goblins to mess around with. They always RP best when there's other goblins around. The problem is, there are two different types of goblin: The ones who follow lore and the ones who don't.

This is a guide on how to be a goblin who follows the current lore. I'm not one of those “FOLLOW THE LORE OR YOU SHOULD BE BANNED STOP BEING SUCH TROLLS” people you may run into sometimes, but I do think that if you want to be part of a two-foot-tall unofficial sub-subrace of goblin, then you should write (good) lore which explains why your particular branch of the goblin family tree is so tiny. I realize that some goblins, like the ones in the Claw family, have explained their height with a back story and some haven't. Also, I myself am guilty of using the smallest player model size for my goblin for a certain amount of time simply because it was entertaining, but I've returned to what I should be. Now, down to business.

The Look:

First, you'll want your skin. The color is usually somewhere between green and gray. Again, if you want something different you'll have to come up with a good backstory to explain it, though if you do this and actually succeed in getting people to accept it OOCly, you'll probably end up hated and deplored by your fellow orcs and goblins ICly, so I don't recommend this. Goblins DO have tusks, just like all the other orcs, so make sure you have some on whatever skin you use.

Eye color among goblins is more diverse than for their larger bruddas. Many have the common brown or black of most orcs and some have a bright yellow, which seems to be largely unique to goblins, but that's not all. There have been some goblins who exhibited blue and green eyes as well. This is usually attributed to the common (and untrue) belief among the Four Races that goblins are a product of the intermingling between ancient orcs and elves. Very rarely do goblins have red eyes.

Goblins have “lean, sinewy frames,” and are around five feet tall (four being the shortest and seven being the tallest) so if you're using MPM, which most players are nowadays, then you'll want to use a player model that is either human sized or slightly smaller. I suggest using a smaller version of the normal player model.

Comparison of normal human size to normal goblin size:

Goblin size is on the left, human on the right.

Dat crosshairs.

Behavior and Roles in the Clan:

Goblins are genetically the same as orcs, believe it or not. They were simply a sub-group who set off into an environment different than what they were used to. In this environment, brains were more valuable than brawn, so it was only the more intelligent orcs that survived. Because they were so focused on their brains, their bodies became weaker. So, goblins are smaller than their orc brethren, but their minds have grown in lieu of their bodies. Because of this, they tend toward the less violent professions: ambassadors, merchants, tinkerers, some can even become shamans. This doesn't mean that there can be no warrior goblins, just that they will never measure up to their larger counterparts when it comes to the art of fighting. They are generally smarter than their larger orcish brethren and they know it. Because of this, most older goblins are terse and condescending when they aren't conducting important business.

Goblin cubs are another matter. Like any cub, a young goblin is often annoyingly curious, incessantly asking questions and doing ridiculously stupid things. They can also be devious, playing tricks and causing problems just for fun. A few goblins never get over this phase, and continue with their mischievous behavior into adulthood. They don't win many friends, though, as many orcs would rather crush your head than laugh at a funny prank you just pulled on them.

I say all of this, but really this is just the average goblin. You can RP yours however you want as long as it's reasonable.

Religious Views:

The religious views of a goblin are generally the same as any other orc, and have been summed up nicely by Vekaro and Sultan.

The religions is essentially based off of every other Shamanism that has existed. It is the belief of spirits. There's different types of spirits just like there is shamans. Each focus on a particular group. People generally have the misconception that Krug is our God. He is more or less a role-model. The one we strive to be like. He is in our opinion, the strongest, most powerful orc. Honestly, this will effect you considering what kind of character your character is. If he goes the Shaman route, then this will be his life. If he's a brute, all he will care about is killing things and other mindless things. Some older orcs incorporate this into their lifestyle, meditating to spirits, even if they are not shamans. Some fear them, some embrace them.

Vek added only one aspect of the Reilgion/Faith of the Orcs there are three ascpets

1- Ancestors which Include Krug.

2- Spirits

3- Elements

Orcs believe in the Creator + Anguels and Deamons, but they do not worship them and some might say they even hate the Anguels and Deamons, they belive that the Creator made the four races but they do not belive in his worship as he dose not do anything for them.

Also Orcs do not worship the Ancestors/Spirits/Elements its more to do with honoring/respectinging them.

Settling Down:

As I indicated earlier, most goblins will end up living with orc clans. This is not always the case. There are some that, if they find enough of their own kind, will wander off in a group to create their own settlement. Others still will live on their own. If the option is there, most goblins would choose to live underground. Now, they can be friendly with humans and dwarves and maybe even the elves sometimes when they need to be, but only the lowest, most disgusting goblins would choose to actually live amongst pinkies. That is definitely something to keep in mind. Again, all of this is very subject to RP.

Speech:

Goblins speak da Blah, a mini-language every orc should learn before starting in on the RP. Also, like I said earlier, goblins have tusks and so their words are most often pronounced oddly. You can better learn how to speak like an orc by being around them, but here's the golden rule: spell everything wrong.

A link to the orc dictionary:

http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/13396-orc-dictionary/

[The 5'th Friar~ 29]

Didn't read the whole thing, but did you put in 'hump everyone's legs'?

[The Cleaning Crew 571]

Didn't read the whole thing, but did you put in 'hump everyone's legs'?

-facepalm-

How could I forget that?

[SortedJarhead 817]

I love it.

[Merkaken 516]

Nice little guide~

[The Cleaning Crew 571]

Updated with everything I can think of. Remind me if I've missed something.

[Raktar 140]

Well, there is now a goblin army if you want to add that.