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About SortedJarhead

  • Birthday 01/01/1900

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  1. Where is Keaghen Armas? The unfortunate story of the lost vice-chancellor, the most fair, most fashionable, most humble, most valient, most womanizing, must grand, most drunk, most amazing, most bi-curious, most greatest chancellor to bless the Holy Oren Empire, and Adunian to walk upright. Vice-Chancellor, Sir Keaghen Armas 1813 It began a normal morning in the Armas Estate almost a decade ago. Sat around the table with his wife Alexandria and his infant child Kylah, they would discuss their daily plans. Upon this day Keaghen’s older sister, “Big” Bertha Armas was travelling into Providence and had insisted they go fish down the Redenford River. Keaghen, not very fond of his sister, had his arm twisted. “You do not have to go..” Alexandria assured him. “Ye know I must.” Keaghen replied. “Ye dun nae know what me sister is like when she’s told nae.” “And,” he added “She supported me through that Ivy Dust addiction, ay. It would be rude to forget her now.” Alexandria retreated. The Vice-Chancellor pecked the head of his child, unbeknownst it was their last encounter. Bertha Armas, 1811 “Me brotha!” Bertha yelled from down the riverbank. “Es about time ye showed up - give yer big sis a hug!” The woman, a few years older than Keaghen but double or triple in weight he estimated, waddled in a half-sprint towards him and lifted him above her head! “It’s been so long!” she screeched, pulling him into her folds. Keaghen could only let out a murmur. They got in a wee wooden raft, and had begun a long day of fishing. Keaghen, an avid angler, was procured much more river trout than his sister. In jealousy, she fumed. In competition, she remained focused and silent. Their raft navigated down the river, coming down the bend south of Providence. Those who know the river know the rapids which run beneath the bridge. Keaghen and his sister, locked in competition, did not notice. Just before the bridge he pulled in the biggest fish he ever saw! A 10 foot river trout. Bertha huffed, and puffed, her face turned red and she jumped up from her seat. She screamed, flailed, pouted and stomped her feet. “How did ye do that!” she shouted. Her tantum rocked the little boat. She jumped up and down. THUD! Her large mass punctured right through the floor of the boat, and she slipped into the waters. Keaghen dropped the fish startled. He wanted to save her but water soon flooded the boat. Then, he noticed the rapids approach. “SHITE!” he yells as the wooden raft is pulled down the rapids. Hitting the rocks below, the boat shattered. Keaghen held onto a broken piece, but once resurfaced, had already floated past the river delta - he was drawn out to sea! Keaghen Armas, present day For many days Keaghen floated. The dry sun berated upon his fair Adunian skin and he thought death was near. Yet, upon his third day he saw a seagull above him. Land! Abandoned in the middle of the ocean, a small deserted island was found. Those familiar with J J Abrams hit 2000s TV Show LOST would imagine it like that. That is where Keaghen Armas be, and no one know he is alive. THE WILL The news of Sir Keaghen’s disappearance is not really news, it happened a decade ago. However, to safeguard against mistaking his death when he just may be on a bender, his lawyers where instructed to wait 10 years before releasing his will. As an extra security measure, he had given a key to each of his lawyers, Henrick Komnenos @KamikazeReaper and Ricky O’Rourke @Jameson_h, that had to be used simultaneously to open a chest. In that chest was a map, which marks a tree. Under that tree is another chest, with another lock only Simon Pruvia had. In that chest was a puzzle developed by skilled monks from Yong Ping, which was given to Henry Penton to decipher. The puzzle, once completed, opened a compartment with a note. That note read: Second drawer of my desk. There, within the second drawer of Keaghen’s desk was his will. IN EVENT OF MY DEATH MY WIFE ALEXANDRIA ARMAS AND DAUGHTER KYLAH ARMAS SHALL HAVE BY TRAILER, BY BELONGINGS, AND MY LEGACY. HIS IMPERIAL MAJESTY JOHN VIII SHALL HAVE MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER. @KosherZombie PLEASE RAISE THEM IN YOUR COURT, TO BE GOOD CITIZENS, WITH A SILVER SPOON. AN UPBRINGING US POOR HARRENITES DIDN’T HAVE. ALSO NAME SOMETHING NEAT AFTER ME. LIKE A PUB OR A ALLEYWAY. IF MY BODY IS PRESERVED, GIVE EDITH HOPE MY [redacted] END
  2. A middle aged Adunian of the Ancient Clan of Armas sits in an out-house in the golden fields of Redenford. After a long day of sowing wheat that will be sent to city-folk such as the cardinal, he begins reading the letter as he does his buisness. This clansman could only laugh. For centuries his family had contributed to the Empire, achieving great fame and power over several generations. He wipes the letter across his backside, finishing his buisness.
  3. "Edith?" Keaghen Armas questions upon reading the opinion piece. "She hasn't been seen in years, I only assumed she died in battle with the Nordlings!" He states aloud to an empty office.
  4. why is my father so disappointed in me?
  5. The Vicechancellor Sir Keaghen Armas lounges in the Imperial Treasury with a wide grin as the war reperations are deposited. Cart upon cart full of Minas, gold, and treausure unloading in tribute from Varhelm. Even livestock is herded into the city, as these poor Nordling tribesmen must sell everything to afford the costly decisions made by their King! He drifts off to warm thoughts of Nordling Chiefs sleeping on the floor, unable to afford straw for beds. "It's a great day to be an Imperial.." he mutters in his dreams as he curls up within a mountain of Minas.
  6. SURNAME: Armas FIRST NAME: Keaghen ADDRESS OF RESIDENCE: Lil Ves 6 YEAR OF BIRTH: 1775 Are you registered and eligible to vote in the Providence District? yes Do you have any other title, peerage or military service that may conflict with becoming a Member of the House of Commons, as per the Edict of Reform (1763)? no If yes, do you understand that you will be required to resign or abdicate from this position should you be elected to the House of Commons, and if this does not occur your seat shall be considered to be vacant?: yes ((MC NAME)): SortedJarhead
  7. AN OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM THE IMPERIAL CHANCELLERY OF THE HOLY ORENIAN EMPIRE 12th of Harren’s Folly, Year of 1824 Too long have the radical terrorists known as the "MRA" plagued our lands and caused irreparable damage for His Imperial Majesty’s denizens. These extremists targeted too the State of Vortice, a port city whom have faces similar destruction at the hands of radicals. Their actions are unforgivable and their cause erroneous. Most recently the "MRA" terrorists dishonorably ambushed a MoJ patrol in the Western region of the Empire. Be it enforced that the d’Azor Ministry condemns all actions performed by the terrorist group known as the MRA. They are to be branded outlaws, arrested on sight within His Imperial Majesty’s realm and brought to justice. There is no place for violent extremists in the Holy Orenian Empire. Signed, His Imperial Excellency, the Vice Chancellor, Sir Keaghen J. Armas
  8. Guns are medieval and have been used in Europe since the 1300, pre-dating the fall of the Eastern Roman Empire. 


    Even earlier in the Islamic world, China, and Indonesia.

    1. NotEvilAtAll


      The flintlock musket was not medieval. Please submit lore for hand cannons if you want to make this argument

    2. Shorsand


      why weren't guns in lord of the rings then

    3. SortedJarhead


      I didn't write any lore just making a statement

  9. A lot of people think of the Wars of the 19th Century when they think of muskets, like the Napoleonjc wars. That point in time is already after 400 years of use and development of firearm technology and tactics. But really, Guns are medieval. Thank you.
  10. Muskets are fantasy. Thank you.
  11. Prepared to seek peaceful compromise with the fearsome "Needle", Keaghen Armas reaches for his quill only to find it stolen by the sneaky Musin.
  12. His Imperial Excellency, the Vice-Chancellor does not condone the fit of glasses as reputable evidence. In a fit of displeasure, he writes a strongly worded letter to the Solicitor-General...
  13. The Vicechancellor rejoices, for peace prevails amongst the Canonist realms!
  14. RP Name: keaghen armas MC Name: sortedjarhead Voted: Yes
  15. "The Nordlings should have been grateful, for roads are the most basic infastructure of civilized peoples. Their Pagan brains surely aren't capable of comprehending, better yet designing roads." ponders the Vicechancellor.
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