I swear the more and more I read this thread the less and less I understand the replies on it as people are trying to use complex language to overpower the others (Norman Fairclough, Language and Power)
For this reason, I’ll try to refine what I’ve been saying.
As all of us know, LotC is far from a safe space. Though that does not mean we have to make it uncomfortable for players.
Many players (though not all) may use LotC as a place to exercise their personality in a manipulated version of their original self (I.e. playing a gay character as they themselves are gay, though without inserting too much of their own external personality) as well as this, many players exercise alternative personalities onto their characters which may contradict or go against their beliefs out of character (Atheists playing zealots, individuals heavily involved with the LGBTQ+ community however play characters that are aggressive to LGBTQ+ characters, etc etc). These are two ways of playing LotC and neither is better than the other, it’s simply a playstyle on how they like to enjoy this medium.
With that out the way, we can discuss the interactions between such. Some of the races within LotC have reasons to deter homosexual relationships for example, elves and their curse of fertility. This however could be argued against as it could be suggested that not all individuals from that race would desire offspring as it is just something that they do not desire.
When many of us on this thread discuss issues of homophobia, we are discussing issues typically specified on the section where two players are inserting their out of character selves into their persona. This in my eyes is where I find any offence, as characters are using their persona as a method of applying aggression on LGBTQ+ characters in a place where they cannot be confronted for such actions when in modern society they might have such views frowned upon.
Typically I hold no ill-thoughts against characters of the other category – that being, individuals who are playing characters that may hold negative or even aggressive beliefs against LGBTQ+ characters while out of character not having the same stance, in this way the player can typically see what type of behaviour is acceptable and are usually quite self-aware on their boundaries. (These characters I typically find as quite fun to watch, as they are typically more ‘Ah! A homosex! teach them the ways of GOD! Someone hand me the holy book!’ rather than ‘a dirty f**** homosex, cut off their hands, tear out their eyes and make them sit through 30 mins of torture rp’ (although I will not accuse them of being OOCly homophobic I’d still suggest that the players who act like this should check their boundaries and check the comfort of the other player)
LotC is not a safe space, it can never be a safe space of course. Though as I had said in an earlier reply that does not mean we should deliberately make it uncomfortable for other players. We all hold the ability to respect another individual and we should try to uphold that. The best roleplay on LotC in my experience comes from tense situations between players who out of character are having fun, even if it does mean the loss of life in one of those characters. Duels and fights, arguments, brawls and violence can become an interesting story when both players are enjoying it.
Tl;dr lotc not safe but doesn’t mean we should try to make it unsafe, players play LotC differently and that’s okay, try to respect people and try not to be excessive in roleplay from external beliefs ❤️