MrMojoMordor

~DA VALLAGNE GOI-GOTH~ CAMPAIGN Penned by BON || Imperial 1975|| S.A 179 || Izi wuz 13 kaktuz-tikz ago when mi Popo, Gob Ztabba-Zniffa agh other dub urukz, klomp’d agh won da long Koalition Wagh againzt iziz bruddahz. Fo’ iziz peep’d magh nub’hozh injuztiz agh dizhonor ob iziz bruddahz givin’ ihn to iziz grizh-luzt agh zpillin needlezz Quick-Flat grizh. Izi wuz ahn bub’hozh tik fo’ da “white-wazhed” urukz - to prove izi-zelvez, find ahn blarg agh honour outzide Da Horde. However! 13 kaktuz-tikz afta, da Zonz ob Krug are treated zame az iziz wuz turnin’ da wagh. 13 kaktuz-tikz afta, da Zonz ob Krug ztill bi peep’d worze than buurz-zpawn. 13 kaktuz-tikz afta, da Zonz ob Krug ztill bi konzidered az villainz, kriminalz agh bi flatten’d agh perzekuted fo’ tingz iziz nub bi rezponzible fo. When da wagh bi over - there wuz truli ahn khanze fo’ doez who klomp’d ohn Koalition zide to khange da perzpektive ob Quick-Flatz. Bawt nub’azh kared fo’ iziz - or iziz fate. Nub’azh blah’z ob Gob Ztabba-Zniffa’z mat'mauk againzt da entire Urukhim fo’ both iziz honour azwell az KANNONIZM, til izi wuz flatten’d - zumting nub Quick-Flatz do. Nub azh blah’z ob Krognag’z fate - to fall into da armz ob zlaverz agh izi klomp fo’ izi freedum til izi flatten’d - wit nub’Quick-Flat komin’ fo izi rezcue. Nub azh blah’z ob Gul'ash - where iz izi? Wub izi doez? Nub’azh knowz or karez. Da HeartUzg agh mi opponent blah ob ‘Unity’ bawt iziz hiztori, even da mozt recent - iz full ob opprezzion ag nub’kare. There bi nub’azh bawt da Quickzpawnz ihn da pozitionz ob power - dezpite havin’ magh other folk. Mi popo blah’d ob there azh tik being ahn Twiggie Waghgoth, YET da Quickzpawn bi eager to keep da LANDZ agh TITLEZ agh POWER to izi-zelvez. Even among iziz, only certain azh bi allowed - recently azh Quickzpawn waz denied iziz heritage agh flatten’d ihn ahn dizhonorable manner fo’ being Raev agh being willing to klomp fo’ wub wuz izi. Mi will nub blah ob mi promizez ohn ahn piece ob kaktuz fo’ izi would nub bi able to karry da weight ob mi blah - Bawt kome to listen agh azk mi ihn perzon. FO’ MI HAZ AHN DREAM THIZ-TIK!

A man looks down on the missive that's arrived as he unpacks his things. "Well - i don't think i can beat this missive, however perhaps i'll have a chance to do so before the debate? Should certainly meet before then to 'scout out' the opposition... in a friendly manner."

Name: Cyril IGN: _Lord_MOJO_ Age: 41 Province: Petra Address: Solland Tower 1 Campaigning for: (Lord-Mayor or Garmont Assembly: Lord-Mayor Discord: ultradepresseddog

Pym Volkov sighs - gazing down at his still obliterated arm. He wish he could help. Hopefully they won't be showing up anytime soon. 'Sir Sparrow' - who heard the news from a local peasant near Vallagne however, gleefully skips across the fields towards Marginan. His hook-hand caressing the head's of wheat & a smile on his face, as wide and bright as the one on his helmet. "Ve Von Theonus sure keep getting into trouble! Luckily - ve Captain i Ve RiverGuard is here!" the short, muscular and half-naked man declares - still not knowing that neither it nor The Kingdom of Petra are a thing anymore.

FULL NAME: Pym Volkov AGE: 37 RACE: Human? PRIOR EXPERIENCE, IF APPLICABLE: Coalition War, Silver Crusade METHOD OF CONTACT: ultradepresseddog (discord)

The combined hallucination of Petra's citizens known as 'Sparrow' nods satisfied. Putting 'Sir' in front of his name with totally make people take him more seriously.

After court, Pym Volkov goes back to his tower. For a while he just sits there, staring at a wall. "Skuke Aaun ag ve United Heartland's skravi!" the tall knight finally blurts out, feeling betrayed once more - throwing his helmet across the room in frustration. He still remember Stran & how everything around it & his family were handled. No where he goes, can he be at peace nor build something for himself - it's like GODAN himself truly is punishing him for his sullied lineage.

The tall, freshly sworn in Petran knight rubs his hand togeather "Joust huh - perhaps ea win over some hearts!" he says to himself and goes to pick out his BEST fur hat.

A certain very tall man with a fur hat, puts the missive down - his hand going to the silver necklace around his neck. "Auwn noble is leaving ve Commonwealth - perhaps a chance va restore ve House i Volkov honor like it was before vyr death, mamej?" he ponders for a moment, "Ludr another war is beginning va cast it's shadow..." Sir Pym Volkov clasps his hands & offers a prayer: "Brightna ve aela, darkna ve teny novd asere kursain, zlamanyed ag pobytyed!"

On the beaches of Aveos - A VERY short, hook-handed man sunbathes in his undergarments & a round metal helmet with a smile and a red clown nose on. He digs through his assortment of random thing's he's brought with him - til he finds one of the cigars his frenemy gave him so long ago. "This' for vy, Tall man." he muses quietly, before snapping his fingers - lighting the cigar. Puffing more clouds to the 7 skies, for his old brother-in-arms to rest.

~PETRAN MACH~ (Depiction of two youngsters racing in Solland) || Imperial 1972|| Atstana de Regne Petrère 117 || I invite all people of Petra to compete in Petran Mach! A race on horseback across the landscape of The Commonwealth! There will be both drinks & much merriment provided both before & after the race near the Tournament Grounds. All does who wish to participate will be given a horse to ride on, to keep the competition fair. The route for the competition will also be shown to all the participants before the start of the race. (The estimate route) The prize pool will be 175 mina: 1st place 100 mina & horse. 2nd place 50 mina & horse. 3rd place 25 mina & horse. [OOC:Sunday 14th April at 5pm EST] Signed by Lord Mayor Pym Volkov of House Volkov Mayor of Vallagne & Horse Lord

Pym Volkov furrows his brow - 'A wolf? Perhaps another unheard of cousin?' the socially inept man ponders to himself as he looks for his mother's fur-coat for the occasion. Silly Pym, little does he know, he's about to meet the source of his childhood NIGHTMARE!!

Lord Mayor Pym Volkov, unlike the rest - actually skims the missive. "Well, it's niet like ve 'Oren' ea have heard I - but it shares some similarities. Let's hope Haense donniet strong arm everyone into doing what they want..." Just in case however - Pym puts up a few nooses at his home, ready to hang anyone going too imperialistic.

Pym Volkov, the usually serious & emotionally stunted man can't help but feel his eyes get a little teary. He understands and feels for The Petran Queen, being the same age & spending most of his youth in war. He signs a little Lorraine's cross over his chest, offering a prayer for her journey of self-discovery.

- A missive is put out onto the Vallagne notice-board - ~VE PRIVESK I VE NAU-MAYOR ~ Penned by Pym Volkov || Imperial 1971|| Astana de Regne Petrere 166 || PREVJA, DORBY OSOBAZ I VALLAGNE! Yam sure vy have heard that Mister Rigoberto de la Cruz has retired ag given mea, Pym Volkov ve duty i Mayor. He came va position iv ve last years i ve long war - there was much work va do. We can all agree, he has done so quite well! He has niet only revitalized Vallagne but Ve Commonwealth as a whole - dlum JOBS ag BUILDINGS va GOVERMENT ag SOCIAL LIFE. He has certainly left rather large shoes va fill - Yam niet sure even mea 13 size feet can fit them. However, he has certainly earned his retirement ag Y wish him ve best iv his future endeavors. THUS Y Pym Volkov call all ve citizens, gentry ag others va approach mea with offers, ideas ag troubles. Ea wish va hear I it all ag begin work - va get a grasp I things ag orient meaself. Psalm send mea a bird, approach mea iv person or contact mea through ve 'diskordium' realm. (a non-threatening rough sketch of Pym Volkov) REMINDER! Psalm, if vy wish work - be sure va look at ve job's offering board iv ve Vallagne Tavern, 'FAIR WEATHER'! If vy wish va offer work - come va mea! Signed by Pym Volkov of House Volkov Mayor of Vallagne

Pym Volkov, after returning from Lotusgrad SWEATS as he hears the news - He knew it would come, but it was still sudden. The relatively inexperienced man would begin to scurry and write a missive of his own. Hopefully he'll live up to his predecessor.

A bit of a swing & a miss. Giving me 'Veletz-Flashbacks' of 2 months of barely any RP because everyone hiding in their houses & bad faith banditry by Veletz-side because they kept taking L's almost every WC & were hurting for gear.

I've very much gone from someone who's OK with banditry to someone who doesn't really like it in the span of the long-ass war we had when banditry was plenty. Mainly as mentioned before - it just comes out of nowhere while i'm minding my own buisiness & often it has 0 consequences or gain RP wise to the one who loses. Not to say i haven't had good bandit RP happen to me. I've enjoyed getting ran down and pockets emptied time-to-time by the road or bonked & injured or whatnot. However, my experience has definitly suffered due to my own sourness over getting constantly bombarded with raids & banditry for months & pet peeves i've developed with it. It's hard to enjoy it when half your side dips or doesn't care, because they don't want to deal with it & you know the rag-tag group of bandits are for some reason carrying around weapons made of x material or use magic that will 1 shot you. Because everyone NEEDS to win CRP, which i think is also a big problem. People don't like taking L's, especially in banditry because often it mean's you lose most of your shit. Is it silly to get heated over a pixel game? Yes. But i can't help it to become a salty ***** from sometime for spending x amount of hours & get nothing from it.

The tall, lanky man - still stuck in his mania gasps: "This is it! Ve chance! Y shall slay on ve dancefloor! Y shall capture all ve hearts! Y shall precure ve future i House Volkov iv this ball, borsa!" he declares to the heavens and begins to wash his coat of garlic.

-Joust I Petra- ==[A depiction of Peasants 'dueling' over 3 stolen grains of wheat]== First - I, Pym Volkov own an apology to Her Majesty, Renilde Helena of the Petra & to the Garmont Assembly. I was not aware that The Queen-Emeritus was nearly a century old, as i've observed her to be quite spry & dazzling for her age. I also thank her for taking time out of her busy schedule to kindly explain where i was wrong. While I still both disagree on how the Seats of Garmont were chosen & Do not understand why it was done so - I at least been made clear & I understand that The People have voted & that I have committed a serious offence once again, trying to over-step the existing Law. HOWEVER - to not let the boat's i had made to go to waste & to show that I both truly reflected on my actions & to give back to the Petran community: I invite ALL newly elected members of The Garmont Assembly & the people of Petra to a friendly 'Joust Of Boats' at Free Port of Chambrey. It will serve as a platform not only for entertainment but also for the people to get to know their newly elected representatives & what they promise. The prize pool will be 225 mina: 1st place 100 mina 2nd place 75 mina 3rd place 50 mina Signed by Pym Volkov of House Volkov The Deputy-Mayor of Vallagne

Yet Pym Volkov hears the Knight-Commander's shouts, the mention of cannons making the former child-soldier have 'Veletz-Flashbacks'.

-JOUST OF BOATS- ==[A depiction of Peasants 'dueling' over 3 stolen grains of wheat]== I do not agree with the notion of elections being a glorified ‘popularity’ vote without even giving does who wish to gain a spot in The Garmont Assembly an official spot to speak and debate ‘why’ they should be elected. THUS: I, Pym Volkov(someone who actually lives there) challenge Rendile Helena of The Petra to a traditional and non-lethal ‘Joust of Boats’ for The First People’s seat of Solland! LET THE CURRENTS OF RIVER PETRA DECIDE! Signed by Pym Volkov of House Volkov The Deputy-Mayor of Vallagne

Pym Volkov votes based on funny names.

Username: _Lord_MOJO_ Persona Name: Pym Volkov Persona Age: 32 Place of Residence / Street Address: Solland Tower I Seat you are running for (ex. The People's seat of Val de Lagne): The First People’s Seat of Solland

Username: _Lord_MOJO_ Persona Name: Pym Volkov Persona Age: 32 Place of Residence / Street Address: Solland Tower I