MrMojoMordor

Pym Volkov gazes at the missive before him: "Well, mea borsa knew them well ag offered shelter- it would be rude va niet extend mea help." he says in a mumble to himself and prepares to send a bird.

Pym Volkov goes to buy an umbrella - he doesn't want to get sunburnt.

-Apology & Clarification- I, Pym Volkov, The Deputy-Mayor of Vallagne own an apology. To The House of Reinhold, its family heads, Sir Atticus & Sir Wilford Reinhold, Viscounts of Stormont, any citizen or gentry who’s life ‘The Reinhold Law’ improves and of course - Her Majesty, Catherine I of The Commonwealth of The Petra. I was too hasty and blind-sided by my own ideals and worries about how things should be done, not recognizing the ignorance I showed with my lack of knowledge on the matter and 'The Catherinian Law'. I was also not aware of the fact that the High Pontiff themselves had approved the passing of this bill, which Sir Atticus Reinhold so kindly explained to me in his letter. For that I truly apologise, strive to do better and hope that I may be forgiven - I am willing to receive any punishment necessary for my actions of under-mining the authority of The Garmont Assembly and the freedom and relief it brings to the ‘same-gendered’ partners. HOWEVER I still offer myself as a champion for Friedrich Hans von Augusten, Viscount of Azor to fight on his behalf against Sir Aimo of Astor, Baron of Fir’Steinn. Even IF Friedrich von Augusten inhabits ill-thoughts towards the bill, challenging a disabled is disgraceful and they deserve a fair shot at the duel. Signed by Pym Volkov of House Volkov The Deputy-Mayor of Vallagne

Pym Volkov begins to build a post on his land, upon which to hang any pro-empire folk. They ain't getting his tower he just bought!

-A Letter of Concerns- -1967- Recently, a new edict was announced called ‘The Reinhold Law’, allowing for civil unions without the church. It was discussed and voted on at the most recent Garmont Assembly - however, as a spectator of both the discussion, the voting and the ‘aftermath’, as a citizen and a canonist i have my doubts and worries. I do not think the discussion was a fruitful one. Friedrich Hans von Augusten, Viscount of Azor, who was the only ‘no’ vote for the bill to go through raised some valid points. While some of them were explained, most of it ended with hand-waving off his concerns. Concerns I myself have as well. The Civil Union, besides not having religious rites nor being recognized by The Church, IS far too similar to a marriage. No matter what silly hats one wears. Something I'm sure many others will take notice of and throw a fuss over - be it another Nation or The Church themselves and we all know from the recent war how things can snowball out of control. I’m especially cross with Father Davide, a representative of the clergy, who at the time of the heated discussion, did NOT raise his hand and offer the perspective of The Church and how they might see such a bold move. Thus I suggest, That the bill will go in for a new round of discussion and have 1 or 2 major changes to create a bigger difference between civil unions and marriage. For example, change the Inheritance law as the bill is clear it’s been made for the sake of The House of Reinhold, who are a same-gendered nobility with adopted children. Being a same-gendered nobility that relies on adoption, it’s unlikely their House will stay relevant for more than 2 generations. It would be a minimal loss while keeping the Realm, other same-gendered unions, wealthy widows and Canondom safe. I do not think the proposed Duel between Sir Aimo and Friedrich Augusten was a fair one. At the end, The Garmont Assembly was asked if any of them have any more ‘important’ matters to discuss - at which, Sir Aimo of Astor, Baron of Fir’Steinn & The Knight-Commander, challenged Friedrich Hans von Augusten, Viscount of Azor to a duel over them voting ‘no’ for ‘The Reinhold Law’. Sir Aimo claimed that Friedrich von Augusten's reluctance towards the bill came from discrimination and ignorance - and that the only way for them to prove it wasn’t is to duel them. Sir Aimo also promised to fight with one arm tied behind his back as Friedrich von Augusten does not possess one arm. An offer, Friedrich von Augusten refused. The Garmont Assembly was in uproar, with Adrian Temesch suggesting that Sir Aimo be removed as The Knight-Commander due to their eagerness to duel - something Sir Aimo noted Adrian Temesch has been trying to do for years. From what I've heard - Sir Aimo also tried to duel Adrian Temesch while he was blind. A worrying trend for a man of chivarly. The Garmont Assembly was then forced to be called over by The Grand Speaker - without reaching any conclusion on the matter. Thus I propose, That Friedrich Hans von Augusten, Viscount of Azor chooses me, Pym Volkov, The Deputy-Mayor of Vallagne as a champion to duel Sir Aimo of Astor, The current Knight-Commander & Baron of Fir’Steinn over the matter of honour. For I also share the same sentiment as Viscount of Azor about ‘The Reinhold Law’ but unlike him, I am able-bodied to go through with the duel and win. Signed by Pym Volkov of House Volkov The Deputy-Mayor of Vallagne

Pym Volkov nods approvingly - not because he's one for this unions, (he has a few doubts himself) but because the bill has stirred up the pot in Petra among nobles. Perhaps he should go and offer himself as a 'champion' to fight for the one-armed Augusten against the 'current' Knight-Commander?

Bon ponders - Man there sure are a lot of people who want the desert to be theirs. And what happened to the last non-orcs who claimed the desert to be 'their' land. It's gonna be a 'king-of-the-hill' situation down there soon.

Bon goes cross-eyed and slumps over, having to force his eyes to stay open. Why are canonist and The Church arguing over who you can hold hands with when there are more pressing matters like VOID MAGES and LICH KINGS!?!?

Bon, the armless goblin child squints at the message a little confused: "Can pinkez, twiggiez agh shû have kubz wubever izi partner iz?! Izi would explain whi there are zo magh ob iziz.."

Bon would raise his brow at the missive nailed to one of the posts in the horde about the orc mercenary: "Guezz anianz peep'd outzide da horde iz ahn whitewazhed.." the child contemplates and then decides to go and ask a 'friend' to make him a bird mask as well for when he goes to tend to his horse business or buy books.

Monster Hunt Vol.1 of 3 [DIY EVENT] “Aye - ‘tis was ve result i ve ‘Ten Years War’.” The Old Fisherman would speak, his neck heavy with jewelry - from bronze to gold, glimmering in the dim light of the campfire in Vallagne’s square. He raises his mug, taking another sip of ale as people gathered to hear his tales. “When man become beasts - so do ve wilds become restless. Dlum long time, ve gates i cities ag towns were closed, ve fields ag farms in ruins, all ve gold ag riches went va ve ‘war-effort!’.” he spits to the ground, mumbling curses. ”Nieawun dared va venture out - help ve folks like us! Ve nobles ag koengs too busy va let other men take their lands! Too foolish va notice ve HIDDEN enemy at their gates! That with each year ve war dragged on, ve Wilds - VE MONSTERS had returned!” The Old Fisherman takes a big breath, taking out his pipe and stuffing it with tobacco - a flash of fire from his tinderbox casting light to his blind, motionless eye on his horribly scarred side of the face. “Aye - ea was there when mea warnings were finally taken heard, ‘tis took many months.. Ag all mea got were couple i snotty-nosed brats, inexperienced knights ag bookworms throwing sparkles!” The Old FIsherman cackles “Vy should have seen their faces when they dealt with ve injured Kelpie, thought THAT was it ag half i them almost got swallowed by gigantic Wishing-Sperant!” The Old Fisherman would laugh and laugh - for a long time, whipping tears from his eye and sniffling. “Only then did they take mea words seriously - mea at ve lead, we STRUCK a mighty blow va ve monster!” The crowd exchanges glances. A few even rolled their eyes at the obvious lies. They had witnessed the hard-foguht battle by the brave-souls at Chamberly and The Old Fisherman fleeing from the beast. The silence was broken by an awkward cough: “But! While we beat ve threat back - it did niet die. Ag who know’s what else lies iv wait… Ve Regalis Gryphons have been making their nests in ve ravine, Dire wolves roam ve forests - ea even meet auwn Troll who keeps botherin’ mea with nonsensical riddles!” the old man scoffs and waves his hand dismissively. A grim silence falls over the gatherers of the campfire. Even if the old man often spews nonsense - there have indeed been rumours of these creatures. The Old Fisherman puffs smoke: “Ea hope va put together another group - va travel along ve river ag deal with some i them problems. Va scout ag find ve Wishing-Serpants nest..” a heavy sigh comes from the man “May ve Gods, Spirits ag any auwn out there, hold us safe til then.” [A poster with info would soon be put up]

A certain ex-guard shivers a little and rubs his neck - despite it being sunny he feels cold. Perhaps he should have packed an extra blanket along to his retirement on the beaches of Nor'asath?

"EA KNEW IT! VE MONSTERS HUNTIN' MEA ARE VE WORK O'DARKENERS!" The Old Fisherman exclaimed from his hut - before turning putting on a heap of jewelry on his neck, rubbing garlic under his armpits and nods and kneels down to his little altar made for every single god and spirit in Aveos to pray that the water-creatures coming after him won't grow legs to walk.

BON nods. "Bazed - If onli shû monkz ohv Kanon were like thiz... or da Pope." he mumbles under his breath before returning to his studies. If this does not resolve soon - he will have to walk to Haense and cull the darkspawn ilk himself.

-DA KLOMP TO DEFY- -ANZ FATE- || Imperial 1962|| S.A 167 || Under the blazing sun of the Honorbound lands, the Urukhim would gather around an oval pit of dirt. From honouraries that possess the soul of an orc and goblins that tinker away on their newest creation, to Wargoths of Klans and large Ologs, digging into beasts as large as they. All of them - were here to witness a fight. A KLOMP! A CHALLENGE TO ALL OF URUKHIM! The young Thraalûk'Gorkil, rode into the pit with his MIGHTY Gorkil-boar. With an estimate from the sight of its sheer size and mass, one would guess it was around 550lbs heavy and 6ft in length. Thrallûk’s legs are wrapped around the boar and his hands held a MIGHTY glaive. A blackened orcish polearm forged from black ferrum. It is composed of a lengthy [6½ft] wooden shaft that features slayer-steel rings and a curved blade that protrudes [3½ft] outwards. At the base of the blade, silver elven hair from the victims of the coalition war is hung proudly. Despite its fearsome appearance, one can spot an eye for its inner beauty and its successful craftsmanship. It is truly a weapon to hold with honour and skill. The Boar itsef was decorated in powdered, bone white ritualistic circles. It looked angry, blood-lusted like the rider himself. Its tusk bearing and hooves within the mud - preparing to kick off when needed by its rider. “THIS KLOP AM UNTIL AZH OF TE KLOMPERZ FLATZ! BOTH GET WEAPONS OF THEIR ZCHOOCIN, BUT TEI KAN NUB USE MOJO, ALKEMI OR OTHER SKAH LIKE THAT FOR TE KLOMP! NEITHER OF ‘EM HAS ANI ARMOR EITHER!” called out Kretz’Ox Wargoth of Klan Ox. “BOTH START ON A STEED, BUT IF TEI FALL OFF TEI KAN NUB GET BACK ON! AZH OF UZ ON TE SIDE WILL REMOVE TE STEED FROM TE KLOMPIN PIT!” “IF TE YOUNG URUK WINZ, HE WILL GET TE WHITEWAZH GOB’S FLAT BODI AGH ITEMS. BUT IF TE WHITEWAZH GOB WINZ, HE WILL GET TE URUK’S BODI AGH ITEMS! ALONG THAT, HE WILl be all…” Gob Ztabba-Zniffa would tune out the rest - he knew the rules of ‘The Klomp’. The goblin would hop onto his stocky wagh-pony. While it dwarfed in size to The Gorkil’s mount, just like its rider. it had a fierce look upon it. Gob would unfold his javelin from the side of the mount, grabbing hold of it while Kretz’Ox read the rules - his Falx sitting on his hip. A crude, curved weapon made for the purpose of dismembering the opponents in the 'Ten Year War'. It measures 30" in it's total length - 1/3 of it being the handle made of Petran oak wrapped in leather, allowing it's used both hands and a shield. The weapon's blade is made of ferrum that's sharpened on one edge. It's at a slight angle and curves at the top - allowing it's wielder to cut through even the toughest of leather and flesh. A little excited grin would appear on Gob’s face as he faced his opponent in a do-or-die situation. Perking up as he heard the call from Kretz’Ox if he’s ready, giving a thumbs up. “ZQUEEEEEEEEEELLLL!” Called out the boar! The rider yelled out “WAGH!” in response. His Glaive preparing itself by reaching outwards in protection. “BOTH AM REDI! THREE.. DUB.. ANZ.. KLOMP!” Kretz’Ox yelled. . . . . . . . “Ow” comes quietly from Minto’Lur A nod from Gutlug’Lur as he watches the might displayed. Gob however, has no thoughts as he watches his own horse being thrown at him - even if he could move, his torn up body would not save him. Flashes of memories flood Gob’s mind. There’s been no peace in his life - growing up admits the ‘Ten Years’ War.’ There’s been no growth - only thing he’s got to show are feeble attempts and failure. It’s been an endless struggle - to make others respect him. He will never see the fruits of his labour - for only now have the first puds begun to spurt from the ground. His brain tries to grasp onto anything good in his life - anything. Friends he’s made.. Starting with Barnabus, Lady Angelina, Abbess Rebbecca.. People who cared for him.. Juniper, Pinebaron, Rhosyn Cardinal Casica.. People he’s learned from.. The Reinhold ‘Room-mates’, Kretz’Ox, Friend… His comrades in arms.. The Von Theonus House, The Ausecan Corps, Krognag… His friendly rivals.. Rigoberto, Marcus Galken.. People he’s saved.. His adoptive son, Queen Catherine I, The People of Petra.. As his own horse casts a shadow over him - Gob blinks, a flicker of a thought in his mind: “MI JUZT BEKAME AHN ZQUIRE! NEVAH AHN KNIGHT! IZI ZUKKZ BALLZ!” THE BELLS ON THE GOBLIN’S HAT WOULD RING FOR THE LAST TIME AS HE’S BEING FLATTEN’D! … LITERALLY!

Gob Ztabba-Zniffa furrows his brows "Wub da Zkah!? DA VOIDAL MOJO IZ HOZH!?" he almost passes out at the hypocrocy of the Church - He understands the ban on druids and shamans from their perspective, but making a deal with the ones abusing the unnatural that's hell bent on absorbing the world is too much for him. Aren't almost all calamities Voidal born!?

"Bazed" Gob Ztabba-Zniffa says, impressed by Ilya's words as he reads the missive to pass time til his duel to the death. If he lives through this, he'll come and see for himself if the King and Queen of Haense are indeed "nub'dead"or not. Like St. Sertok, The Twice-Born.

Gob Ztabba-Zniffa furrows his brow at the missive and throws it into the bin: "Zkahhin' Pinkehz! Mi will zend mi Kub inztead - hozh practice fo da 8 year old. Nub tik, got ahn 'honourable klomp' to take part ihn - zumting da veletzian nub heard ohv or peep'd. " he mumbles, focusing on his training.

-GOB ZTABBA-ZNIFFA- LETTER OF CHALLENGE || Imperial 1962|| S.A 167 || THORM’KA! MI WUZ MAGH GLOB FO GRUKN’ WHEN MI MET DA KRIMPGOTH DRUZ, THERE WUZ KHANGE AFTA DA WAGH! ZO MI, GOB ZTABBA-ZNIFFA DA AZHTY H’DUB, ZQUIRREL OHV PEE-TURA, FOLLOWER OHV ZAINT ZERTOK DA DUB’BORN, ZON OHV KRUG AGH BLEZZED BI BON IZI-ZELF! WILL OFFIKIALLI TAKE OHN ANI ANZ OHV MI BRUDDAHZ OHV DA IRON HORDE - WHO MI PEEP’D FLATTENIN KUBZ, PIKKIN’ OHN DA WEAK AGH EXERKIZIN’ TWIGGIE-TACTICZ OHV NUB-HONOURABLE KLOMPIN’ TURNIN' 'DA AZHTY YEAR WAGH'! AGH MI PROMIZE NUB HARM WILL COME IZI IF IZI WERE TO BEKUM DA VICTOR! KOME AGH ZHOW LAT-ZELF BI DA HONOURABLE ANZ LAT BLAH ZO MAGH ‘BOUT AGH LET BOTH GODAN AGH DA ZPIRITZ JUDGE MIZ! Signed by:

Gob Ztabba-Zniffa ponders if he's able to teleport inside someone. with his GOD given gift... or perhaps it's sinful? Curiously - the disfiugured goblin would waddle his way to the 'black site' to try it out on the Pirate corpses.

I understand why the CRP-lock exists and have no problem with it, however it has some issues. In my RP as a city-guard i've watched people just get bonked in the middle of the street with 18 people RPing around them and then wander off. I've also missed a few combats by smallest of margins. Or tried to ring the bell - yet there's no point to it because by 3rd emote, 15 min is up, maybe have the bell extend the CRP-lock by another 15 min? so there's more urgency for others to stop you from doing it.

No - not really. And as brought up above, the main issue is the "RP" effect. Sure, insugency/guerilla warfare would be cool - but as we saw from the recent Veletz + Allies vs Coalition war, not a lot of people are into that.(On Coalition side) Even when one of the nations was raided - rarely did many people show up. Veletz hard won on that front with constant raids while i don't think i saw Veletz nor Krugmar ever have their gates down or raid timer on. Honestly - i think by the end of the war people were rallying on Coalition side because they were sick of being raided/bandited on Cooldown. I got to the point where i personally wasn't invested in it at all because of how often it happened and how little/bad RP it gave besides a building or two being burnt down. It would be cool to see some consequences to that - maybe other nations would do that more then. People PKing would be solid, but then comes the 'investment' problem. Folk would just make a 'bandit/raider' persona and if they die - they just make another without getting their main RP persona into the mess. And people dying to random raiders/bandits feels empty. It being between two consenting OOC parties is the best we can try for right now, people hate losing - it is what it is.

The newly squired Gob Ztabba-Zniffa takes a glance at the missive and nods: "Bazed." he mumbles to himself and moves on - this type of politics he likes. Good ol'honourable duels and blah. If they have issues with him - they will come and see themselves. Whether they return to the Honourbound lands on their own two feet or be carried down river Petra in a wooden-box is for them to decide.

Gob Ztabba-Zniffa Da Azhty-H'dub does a lorrien's cross over his chest. He still has some of the salt left he got from Pinebaron - and decides to make a stake with it. It's so good, one could cry.

Gob Ztabba-Zniffa Da Azthy-H'dub finds a missive amongst the many papers on his desk, having missed it due to his LARGE nose. He gives a solemn nod of approval - perhaps one day he will return to Honorbound lands, but for now the savagely acts of child-murder and dishonor of his fellow sons of Krug still weigh heavy on his mind from the "Ten Years' War". Putting it aside, Gob returns to studying Orc saints.