MrMojoMordor

The Sparrow leans back among the sand dunes, basking in the sun as he keeps up with the place where he used to serve. His brow furrows as he reads the Petra missive, wiping some oil onto the Aaun one from his Mckruggies and rolling it into a blunt. "Killing someauwn random for a broken hand - that 'definietly' proved they were ve victims ag niet bandits." he sighs. "Should have gone for ve Regent or ve Grand Treasurer, would have been as subtle. Ea liked that Von Theonus.."

Gob Ztabba-Zniffa is sadly illiterate in common, thinking the Kub-Rex is sad that her grandmother has been tricked by a local drug dealer to get into some heavy drugs! He sharpens his teeth and fills a bucket with water - ready to doze Renilde and give 'the talk'.

Gob Ztabba-Zniffa is overjoyed over a new piece of paper he can make air'birds' out of and throw at people!

Gob Ztabba-Zniffa, the totally-33-years-old goblin does shadowboxing in his room: "Mi redi fo da blah-klomp!" he exclaimed followed by a yelp as he knocked off a box. Within it the box, Gob finds writings and schematics of the houses previous owner. Excidedly he replaces his name with his, not knowing their contents for he cannot read...

Gob Ztabba-Zniffa screams gleefully and hops up and down - the bell's on his hat chiming loudly in the now abandoned house. A gift from the Child-Queen! He hastily begins to fold it into a paper 'bird' and throws it, watching it fly.

Username:LordMJO Persona Name: Gob Ztabba-Zniffa Persona Age: Dunno Place of Residence / Street Address: Godric Road I

[!] The Submitted form has been scracthed over with dirt and new information has been entered. Username: LordMJO Persona Name: Pelym-Vagil Rivers Gob Ztabba-Zniffa Persona Age: 33 Place of Residence / Street Address: Godric Road I

[!] On a mangled and dirt covered piece of paper from a book on self-help by Nevaehlen scholars, someone has written a letter to Queen Catherine I of The Petra with mud and dirt. [!] when turned around - one would find crude drawings.

Pelym-Vagil Rivers looks at the missive and sigh "Well.. ea guess ve 3 page part about ve Riverguard is useless now in mea document - but ea do support making ve military ag guard separate entities, it always felt like voluntary work anyway.." he taps his chin "Maybe we will get paid for our service this time?" he says with a hopeful tone in his voice - his back hurting from working in the mines. His eyes then glance over the names and.. "WAIT FERDINARD ERYL AG XAVIER ADILER!? AUWN OF THEM JUST PROMOTED FROM RECRUIT AG VE OTHER'S BEEN HIDING IN HIS CASTLE FOR 10 YEARS!" Soon, his quill flies again on parchment - more corruption within Petra!

Pelym-Vagil Rivers nods - bout time Adilers did something other than sitting in their castle.

Pelym-Vagil Rivers hopes he can tag along - it's been so long since he's seen action. GOD PLEASE SOMETHING HAPPEN TO HIM ALREADY!!

Petra’s 1st: RAM SLAM RUMBLE Issued by the Repenting Clown 93th Year || Imperial 1948 || S.A 152 || To celebrate the 1st year under Queen Catherine I of Petra’s rule and to entertain and unite people of all realms - I, Repenting Clown, holder-of-too-many-titles-to-name invite you all to put aside your politics, religions and pesky morals, so you may both participate and enjoy Petra’s 1st RAM SLAM RUMBLE! There will be 2 events with a PrizePool of 200 mina! THE RAM RUMBLE! - a one-on-one wrestling match between the mightiest fighters! THE RAM SLAM! - a HEAVY rock lifting competiton with an aim to SLAM! I. THE RAM RUMBLE’S ETIQUETTE & RULES: All participants must abide by the following rules and there will be no exceptions unless the RAM says so: All participants MUST wear masks. All participants MUST take part under an alias. (e.g. Petran Ram, Mage-Splitter, Butter Bread, Klomp Master ect.) All participants MUST remove any armour or defensive gear they have. At minimum the participant MUST wear pants. Capes, symbols, body paint and accessories along with different augments such as Animii, Automaton, Golem ect. are allowed. All participants MUST sign up before hand! (a picture of minimum attire ) The match will BEGIN in the designated fighting area when both participants are ready and END when one of the two contestants is knocked out or gives up. Participants may use BLUNT MUNDANE items the public throws to the ring to use. (e.g. chairs, ladders, fish, pies, stuffed animal plushies ect.) Participants are ENCOURAGED to pull off MANOEUVRES OF PAZAZZ! The participant doing the move must call out its name or it will not count! The most impressive crowd-pleasers will receive an additional prize of 50 mina, judged by the PEOPLE! Participants may use the ropes, corner posts and blunt mundane items for MANOEUVERS OF PAZAZZ! Winner of THE RAM RUMBLE will be awarded with 100 mina and a belt! Participants are NOT allowed to use magic or magical items! (except replacement limbs.) Participant MUST be able to be knocked-out! Under no circumstances are the participants allowed to kill their opponent! Doing so will result in a swift punishment carried out by the Riverguard under Petran Law. II. THE RAM SLAM RULES: THE RAM SLAM will take place after THE RAM RUMBLE concludes and is a free for all to participate both the on-lookers and the participants of the previous event. The Participant of THE RAM SLAM must first LIFT and then SLAM a rock - aiming to create the deepest dent in the sand. The Participant may have 2 attempts with the best one going on the board. The winner of THE RAM SLAM will earn 50 mina and a rock! Date, place, sign-up and additional information: Repenting Clown Dropkicker of To-Be-Criminals, Honker of Terror, Squeaker of Truth, Protector of the Innocent. Defender of Maidens ect.

Pelym-Vagil Rivers rubs his chin with his hook-hand in contemplation - he's enjoyed his time of relative peace under the reign of Queen Renilde, par from a few run-ins with the bandits and dealing with the Alg Tree, but her compliments to him more than made up for it. However her retiring in times when war seems to be brewing among the human realms worries the long time Riverguard greatly, doubt about the sudden move weighing heavy on his mind: 'Was right now truly the best time? Will the other nations not see this as a chance to bounce on Petra? Besides - it's not really her grand-daughter in power but Von Theonus family instead, who's to say they won't puppet the new Child-Queen like Aaun is?' "Ve Wyr I Kindvikzein - The War Of Children.. got a nice ring to it." The short man muses to himself, some poetry forming in his head already. In any case, he'll continue his watch over Petra - FOR NOW

Pelym-Vagil Rivers shakes his head reading it: "Supae oe denn anothna speg dlum ve noblz va attach auwn title iv imeeo ag va eipae doz usaer vorarev ter velyae raez i ve court. Czeben, was doz ve LENDYY zwe va voe tiz oe ain Kossin?!" The short man stands up in his dimly lit room, squeezing the red nose in his hand, it making a loud HONK "Nie, auwn Kossin oe someauwn weo oe joedensker druz supaes atsk i bravery ag morality! Neithna tieg mognnen oe ipera druz ve Noblz nor ve Lendyy! Nie wondna ea zwemar ter dzien any kossin fitsk BEZTIG iv ag klonav ve ALG DRVOGG! supaem's been magz ag common soldiz!" He pauses before adding, "Ea approve i stanz ag bracae ozinae i horsz est.."

Pelym-Vagil Rivers raises his brow reading the letter: "There was debauchery? Must have happened after ea passed out from ve stone lifting contest to impress ve gays.." he shrugs and goes back to lifting rocks. If another war is started, this time over a bathouse with elves in it, he might be running out of red noses to mail.

Pelym-Vagil Rivers since he was a kid always admired clowns, he even wished to be one! So, over the next 20 years he put in countless hours of training and dedication into his craft - only to be outdone by some human polid***ing. Perhaps he should send them some of his spare red noses?

Pelym-Vagil Rivers nods to himself "Based queen as always." he says - finally, people are waking up to the terror of THE CHURCH and their malpractices. Name of KANON, the TRUE LORD AND SAVIOUR shall be known at last.

Pelym-Vagil Rivers nods "based" he says "champion of ve folk" he mumbles. "Finally, another road!"

Pelym-Vagil Rivers in a hurry puts on his helmet and pants - yet once again, forgets his chestplate.(not really, he want's to just show off to the single ladies.)

Pelym Vagil Rivers furrows his brow at the letter before him after getting it from Atticus - his blood boiling "Ve 'Church' is at it again hunting CHILDREN. If they could - they would hang any auwn who doesn't donate 100 mina per week to them." he scoffs.

The Sparrow contemplates buying a red nose as a gift for Atemu-Ta to make the clown-on-clown violence official when he goes to bonk him.

The Sparrow lifts his hand in victory and honks his red nose - maybe finally, he can begin his journey to become an honorary and learn witch doctoring from REAL SHAMANS to 'prank' the canonist church.

Pelym-Vagil Rivers spits out his drink, having skimmed the new marian guide and only now noticing the dictionary part. He looks at his songs and poems, wondering what the hell sort of accent has he been speaking til now. ((OOC: I LITERALLY - CREATED LIKE 30+ WORDS AND ONLY NOW NOTICED THE DICTIONARY PART MAN!))

Pelym-Vagil Rivers writes himself up and nods. It will be good practice for when the REAL jousting begins for Petra's Queen 50th jubilee.

Pelym-Vagil Rivers let's out a sad sigh - maybe he should hang around the princess more since no spooky bad guys show up when he's around.