[Feedback & Critiquing] The Society Of Overseers

[the 1 bow 1112]

((Let me preface this by saying number one, if there is a more appropriate forum for this to go under, I'd appreciate it if a FM moved it. Thankyou.

 

 

What this is, is a guild concept I have come up with and I am taking to you the community for feedback and a bit of criticism. Essentially what I would like to know is, is it any good, has it been done before, if things are too cliche, if things dont make sense, do I need to elaborate on certain areas, add or get rid of stuff, things like that. Im willing to answer any questions aswell. And lastly its not going to visually look pretty with colours because this is depending on feedback, a draft.

 

Thankyou))

 

 

 

When a man's heart is full of deceit, it burns up, dies, and a dark shadow falls over his soul.

From the ashes of a once great man has risen a curse.

A wrong that must be righted.

We look to the skies for a vindicator.

Someone to strike fear into the black hearts of the same men who created him.

The battle between good and evil has begun.

Against an army of shadows come the dark warriors.

The purveyors of good with the voice of silence and a mission of justice.

 

-Words of the Society of Overseers

 

Summary

 

The Society exists solely to oversee the descendents and act as civilizations anchor. If any given civilization, specific or as a whole reaches the pinnacle of its decadence and turns away from the core values of justice, righteousness and what is defined as ‘good’, the Society will bring it to heel, causing its destruction. On the contrary the Society will preserve the lives of people, and civilizations untainted by evil, defending them from it.

 

History

 

The story of Khan Zur Enrrah

 

 

Years ago in the land of Anthos, there was a man, a sellsword. Born Khan Zur Enrrah, this mercenary was a man of fallacious morals believing money and wealth was the only real commodity in this world. A nobleman hired Khan to kill a peasant farmer that his wife had fallen in love with. He was jealous that his wealth was not enough to keep this woman, yet he was a cowardly man and could not act on it himself. Knowing that there would be a substantial reward Khan agreed and began tracking the peasant with the information that the nobleman had gave him. “Kill them all” he was instructed.

 

The day came when Khan found the peasant and the nobleman’s wife. They were living together on the outskirts of the city of Abresi, their house was small and on the land in which they farmed. Khan, being light on his feet managed to sneak into the house unnoticed. Unfortunately, the room that his feet landed in was that of a small child’s. Immediately startled, the child called out for help. Khan swiftly stabbed it in the heart with his short blade. He heard next footsteps, not thuds but subtle taps on the ground. They belonged to that of a woman. Pressing himself against the wall-space next to the door, he waited for the woman to show herself. When she did Khan sprung forward, stabbing her throat in an attempt to stop her from screaming. As he withdrew his blade, the woman, the wife of the nobleman, slumped to the ground drowning in her blood. Khan searched the rest of the residence for the peasant but he was not on the immediate property. When he looked out the window Khan saw him, back turned, tending to the field. If he could move quiet enough Khan could kill the peasant and slip away, and so that is what he attempted.

 

However as he drew closer the peasant turned around holding a basket of wheat. There was a brief pause as the two locked eyes. The eyes of the peasant fell onto Khans bloodied blade. Khan had to act, and so he leapt forward, stabbing at the peasant’s chest but the knife caught the basket, and the two engaged in a small brawl. Victorious, Khan slew the peasant but the commotion from the fight had attracted the attention of the city guard. A blow to the back of the head, and Khan was unconscious.

 

 

 

League of Immortals

 

 

Khan awoke days later on the floor of a cell. He could only move so far as there was a chain around his neck latched to the wall behind him. The cell was oddly damp, scrap of cloth sprawled across the ground to act as a makeshift bed, if you could call it that. There was a barred window on the wall that showed the courtyard. He was in a prison of sorts, but not at Abresi. Khan tried to get to his feet.

 

“Stay down boy, they roughed you up pretty good.” A crackly voice from the cell next to him said. There was no wall, only more bars that kept the cells separated.

 

“W-where am I?” Khan asked, his voice had the rasp of dehydration.

 

“Where do you think? You are in a prison, for committing a crime.” The voice responded.

 

“I…shouldn’t have gotten caught…I…” Khan tried to speak but his voice failed him, the lack of water and the pain of talking was too great.

 

“It doesn’t matter what happened before hand but you are here now. My name is Ambrose. Who are you boy?” The voice’s owner emerged into better light. He was an elderly looking man, balding with a thick grey beard. He did not appear frail however. Khan took a deep breath, wheezing slightly.

 

“My name is Khan…Khan Zur Enrrah.” He said. A guard walked past the cell, smashing a club onto the bars.

 

“Yer gon’ die ‘ere, filth!” The guard called out. Laughing, he strolled off, letting the club strum against each bar of the cells. Ambrose chuckled, sliding a small bowl of water over to the cell wall separating him from Khan. It was just small enough to fit through. Khan drank the contents in one gulp.

 

“Death is the only certainty in life, do not be afraid.” Ambrose muttered. He stared forward, leaving Khan unsure whom the old man was speaking to.

 

“What?” Khan asked. Ambrose turned to him, a reassuring look on his face.

 

“Everything in this world, is speculation or opinion. Everything but death. Death is the one constant.” Ambrose leaned back against the wall, exhaling. Khan willed himself up to move closer to the cell wall.

 

“Nothing is certain but death…why are you telling me this?” Khan didn’t know why he was so captivated by what Ambrose had said, but he was.

 

“Because of all the people who have been the in cells next to me, you are the only one that isn’t a brute. I understand you did something to get in here, but you are not dull.” Ambrose said looking over at Khan, nodding.

 

“Tell me more.”

 

Months passed, and during that time Ambrose had been lecturing Khan on ideals and philosophies based around the core principle of death being a sufficient justice against evil. A day came however when several guards entered Ambrose’s cell, freeing him from his chains and carrying him out.

 

“Where are you taking him?!” Khan shouted. The guards cursed at him but Ambrose looked back, winking.

 

“Do no worry about me my friend.” A few minutes pass before the noise of commotion float in to Khan’s cell through the window. Peering out, he saw Ambrose encircled by guards. There is a headsman. Ambrose was to be executed. Khan began frantically ripping at the chain around his neck, the friction cutting his skin. He got a quick glimpse of several thin objects flying through the air at the guards, and then almost instantaneously they each dropped to the ground. Two dozen men wearing light armor each armed with some form of blade appeared over the wall, landing in the courtyard of the prison. The other members of the prison guard rushed forward, but were cut down by these ‘invaders’. The men fought elegantly, slaying the rest of the guards.

 

“My friend!” A voice called out from over Khans shoulder. As he turned he saw it was Ambrose, flanked by two of the men in light armor. “Lets get you free.” As the foursome left the cellblock, the remaining prisoners called out to be freed, by Ambrose and the two men seemed to not even know they existed. Entering the courtyard, several carts loaded with sacks of what appeared to be vegetables now sat in a line. Cocking an eyebrow, Khan glared at them but turned back to Ambrose.

 

“Ambrose, who are you?” Khan asked, now surveying the scene. The men in light armor stood as if at attention, all with perfect posture.

 

“I am the leader of the League of Immortals. We are those who root out evil and corruption, and in turn, solidify ourselves as immortal but becoming heroes. Everything I have taught you have been our philosophies and ideologies. You have shown promise in your ability to understand my teachings. With proper training, you could truly be immortal. Khan, would you join our ranks.” Khan nodded to Ambrose after he finished his spiel, half bowing.

 

“Yes master.” Ambrose smiled, patting Khan on the shoulder. When Khan stood up he noticed that all the men were dropping their weapon and taking off their armor, replacing it with cheap looking rags. “What are they doing?”

 

“A group of well armed men traveling the road attracts attention. A convoy of peasants transporting stock,” Ambrose said, gesturing to the carts, “not so much.”

 

After a few days of travel, they arrived at a large mountain fort. Entering, there was at least a hundred more members. 

 

“Follow me Khan.” Ambrose said. The old man led Khan to a dim room with only a table surrounded by large wooden chairs. Ambrose sat down with an exhale, as did Khan.

 

“So you lead these people?” Khan asked, leaning forward in his seat. Ambrose nodded.

 

“Yes. They would die at my command. But, that is not what I command them to do. This world is only corruption, decadence, and evil. The League’s mission is to strangle the poison out of evil until it is nothing but a neutered mutt, it can no longer breed. It is an ongoing quest but in our deeds we become heroes. And as heroes, we become immortal. Are you ready to join us?” Ambrose asked.

 

“I am.”

 

“Very good.”

 

 

Birth of the Society of Overseers

 

 

Years later, Khan had become Ambrose’s greatest student. Excelling in his training of both cognitive and physical skill, Khan showed great promise. However, as time went on, Ambrose’s sanity began to deplete. He would order the murder of those he called evil on the basis that he didn’t like how they did things. His men were too loyal to question him, but Khan had grown as a person. Gone were the days of the ruthless mercenary, he had become a vindicator of ‘good’. The day came, when Ambrose went too far.

 

The old man had the League gathered in the main hall of the mountain fort, and stood in front of his throne that he recently had built.

 

“My sons, this land of Anthos is vile, it is evil,” He shouted, Khan looked on sighing, “I need not tell you more than this, destroy every city in the realm.” There was a disturbed silence for a few seconds.

 

“On what basis do you forsake Anthos?” Khan called out, stepping forward. Ambrose scowled at him, a familiar sight as of late.

 

“You do not have the right to question me, Khan.”

 

“I think I do if you are asking us to go through with this ridiculous mission. To murder women and children and men who have done no wrong. How do you propose to do this, this madness anyway?” Khan said, locking eyes with Ambrose.

 

“We have talented minds here, form some sort of explosive.” Ambrose retaliated.

 

“And what, place it within every single major city in Anthos? Unnoticed? How would we do it with the orcs hmm? There’s not exactly a lot of cover in a bron desert.”

 

“You have forgotten you’re place!” Ambrose yelled, seething with anger. The look on his face alone showed he was not the man he once was.

 

“If you refuse to give me an answer, I will not take part in this.” Khan responded, sighing once more. Ambrose drew his sword, his face scrunched up in a snarl. Khan followed suit, pointing his sword at Ambrose. The members of the League began to advance on Khan, but Ambrose called them away. “Ambrose, you have lost your mind.”

 

“Will you do the mission?” Ambrose asked, ignoring Khans comment. Khan shook his head. “Refusing your master breaks our law. That is criminal. Criminality is evil.”

 

“If I have broken the law then I would have a trial by combat.” Khan began walking up the steps to Ambrose’s throne.

 

“Do not make me kill you…” Ambrose muttered.

 

“I will not kill those who have not proven themselves evil. I will not become what we are meant to destroy. The League has it wrong Ambrose, this concept of immortality, its wrong. We shouldn’t rid the world of evil to be heroes; we should do it because it is right. You lost your way a long time ago, you are not the man I met in prison.” And with Khans final word, Ambrose charged forward, their swords clashing. They began to fight, but ultimately Khan stood victorious. The members of the League knelt before Khan, one spoke.

 

“You are our master now, what would you have of us?” Khan sighed, looking over the men.

 

“Go home to your families. The League is forsaken, for we have become what we loathe.” The League stood up and left, as if following some holy command. Khan looked back at the lifeless body of Ambrose exhaling. “Good bye old friend.”

 

Time went on, and in the land of Athera, Khan would do various acts of vigilantism, protecting the innocent and stopping evil. Yet one night, he had a dream.

 

He was back in his cell at the prison, Ambrose stood over him. He did not look insane or mad, he looked…healthy. Ambrose was already speaking when Khan was conscious of the fact he was dreaming.

 

“You truly are a good man, Khan. Even as my sanity slipped I knew that. I knew that when I met you, here. There are others like you in the realm that would serve justice. Reform the order…” The dream faded, and Khan awoke. Looking up at the ceiling, Khan nodded.

 

“I will. But in the way it was meant to be.” He moved over to a pile of empty books and began writing, and the Society of Overseers was born.

 

 

Expanding on what is

 

Unlike the League, the Society of Overseers has no one leader. Each member is as important that the other, although some members words may be held in higher regard due to their experience. The Society works to preserve life that is good and just at all cost and defend it from evil. Evil is intolerable and must be destroyed by any means necessary. The murder of corrupt noblemen, destruction of property used for negative means, or simply saving an innocent person from getting robbed, the Society works to preserve good, and strangle the poison out of evil.

 

In times of war, the Society would remain neutral unless one side was clearly the aggressor. In this instance, the Society would, free of charge, without recognition aid the ‘defendants’. More often than not the ‘defendants’ would not know the Society has helped them.

 

A democratic structure, the Society will not engage in major tasks without the consent of all members. If a member can pose a proper reason of why the Society’s hand should be stayed, then indeed it shall. If they fail, then the member must put the cause over their opinions.

 

Ideology

 

-Replacing evil with death is not evil

-Everything but death is speculation or opinion

-Do what is necessary, regardless of personal safety

-Each member is less than the cause

-To be a bystander of evil is to be a friend of evil

-Appear strong when weak and weak when strong

-Justice can be vengeance

-Justice can be murder

-Justice can be thievery

-Justice can be destruction

 

Excerpts from the journal of Khan Zur Enrrah

 

 

As much as I disdain Ambrose’s idea of what could be considered as, ‘total annihilation’, the Society does need a set of plans and motions to follow should any race or civilization in its entirety falters beyond repair or is hijacked by evil and the prospect of its redemption is no longer a possibility. For this reason I have formed several contingency plans involving whilst maybe not the most convenient methods, but out of all the options I have perpetuated, what I believe would be the most effective ways of eradicating specific groups within the realm.

 

Human

 

Should the populace of man ever turn rogue or succumb to an evil that poses a threat to the greater realm, attacking their complex infrastructure is the best course of action to subdue them. Their high population number is something that has won them countless wars, but it is exploitable. Carefully executed assassinations directed towards nobles and government leaders would likely result in a power struggle across a majority of Human nations. Humanities lust for power and tendency for battle would mean that because of this, the possibility of a civil war is high. Propaganda and exploitation of any grudges between settlements/noble houses at the time is necessary if a war does not start straight away.

 

With Humanity at war, destruction of livestock and cutting all water supplies would increase tension and eliminate most common folk or those who could not afford to buy from a pre-existing surplus. By this point the population would be running thin if everything has gone according to plan. The destruction/sacking of hubs and main cities would scatter the population.

 

With no interruptions, the Humans would now be destroyed.

 

Elf

 

If the descendants of Malin ever become a threat to the realm, tainted by some form of higher evil or simply become evil themselves beyond repair, exploiting their sterility is the best choice I could find to stop them. Whilst the Society could match the Elves in combat, as could the other three races, their evident adept skill in various forms of magic is not something to be toyed with. If a form of plague could be manufactured or an existing plague could be controlled, unleashing it into major Elven cities and settlements would eliminate a majority of their population. After that, it becomes a matter of culling the survivors.

 

Ways of controlling the plague after incident requires further investigation.

 

Orc

 

Should the orcs ever unite under a leader charismatic enough to keep them truly grounded, or become corrupted, they would have the power to conquer the entire realm. This makes them a formidable foe. Meeting the sons of Krug in combat is a foolish death wish, but reasoning with a determined orc often harbours the same result. However, if some form of magic could be generated that increases their bloodlust to beyond a boiling point, the orcs would fight with themselves as they often do. This would have to be carefully orchestrated as a false step would mean that we would unleash a green tide of super-orcs against the realm.

 

If done correctly the result would be that the beasts would kill each other, and with their low population number, could mean the eradication of the entire race.

 

Dwarf

 

The Dwarves are a tenacious and robust people, with resilience that no other race carries. On this basis, should they ever turn against the realm through their own greed or through the influence of something else using a set and formulated plan is key to stopping them. Descendents of Urguan are cursed with greed, so using this against them is a wise tactic. Setting up some form of a trap in which small pockets of Dwarves are informed about a grand scale of riches to be had should be enough to incite their interest. Once they are caught, executions are a simple matter. However the Dwarves are not stupid, in turn isolating Dwarven cities and settlements and cutting of their communication to the greater realm may be necessary.

 

Kharajyr

 

I have not encountered the Kha race enough to have a developed contingency plan against them should they turn rogue. Perhaps murder of government leaders? Physiological damage by destroying religious idols/temples? Further research is required.

 

[Jonificus 2711]

I too like the league of shadows.

Seriously though, this sounds fun.

[excited 10833]

This reminds me of the Conclave Pug created in the Magician series, really chill. Looks great +1

[ThumperJack 923]

Seems pretty cool! +1

[Mephistophelian 972]

I am pleasantly surprised. Nice!

[Wings 13]

Potential to be very fun. Would love to be involved.

[Sister Sequoia 438]

This should likely be under Guilds and Organisations, I'll move it there, there's no lore here that I see, just backstory.

[The Zealot (Sir_Wyvernos) 248]

((Reminds me of the gentleman bastards from back some time ago. If you play this right, you could create some very interesting RP. Good job))

[Publius 3666]

This current Guild has been deemed inactive and has hereby been moved.

If you wish to appeal this decision you must present evidence to myself proving the guild is still active.