Kardel 1054 Share Posted February 8, 2015 A letter is submitted directly to the Lord's Council. It is another proposal by Kardel. Hopefully this will not get denied. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ********************************************************************************************* The Female Presence Behavioral Rehabilitation Act, A Proposal ~o~ By Kardel Irongut ~o~ Prelude The lack of Dwarven women in Kal'Karaad is a disturbing and disgraceful matter that dirties the reputation of the Sons of Urguan beyond measure in the eyes of the other races. While the Dwedmar should not care less about the opinions of other races, however, we should immediately adress the alarming absence of women in our day to day lives. Previously, the clergy determined that the lack of women in the Grand Kingdom of Urguan was due to Belka not being satisfied, but it has been proven that this is not the case; 5 white bulls were sacrificed every day for the last 3 weeks and Belka has not made any women to emerge. After carefully scrutinizing this problem I, Ogradhad's Priest and Elder Kardel Irongut, have determined that the lack of women in our society is NOT due to a curse from the Brathmordakin, but from something much more mundane: the stark behavior of our lads that happens to ensue every time a Dwarven woman is nearby. I myself am guilty of such behavior, and have ceremoniously fasted and given myself sufficient lashes to apologize to Belka. I urge any other devout Dwedmar to do the same. Our behavior must be rehabilitated during such matters. If we keep Dwedmar women away from our cities for any longer, then we will be devoid of any pure-blooded Dwarven children. Therefore I, Ogradhad's priest and Elder Kardel Irongut, aim to propose a bill that will remedy this problem. Clearly, dwarven lads cannot be stopped when it comes to courting, and so a law must be made to end this starkness similar to the old 'Stark Raving Mad' law: The Female Presence Behavioral Rehabilitation Act. ____________________________________________________________________ Articles It must be made law that ANY DWARF, male or female, acting starkly around a female dwarf must charged with disturbing the public peace, and must be arrested and fined with a duty of 69 minas on their first offense, 420 minas on their second offense, and 666 minas on their third offense. Inability to pay these fines will result in jail time of this dwarf, or eviction of his belongings to fulfill these unpaid dues. IF such behaviour is to persist, than the dwarf in question will recieve 50 lashes in addition to a 666 mina fine on their fourth offense, and 100 lashes as well as a 1000 mina fine on their fifth offense. On their sixth offense, the dwarf must be brought to the court of mountains under a trial for Starkness and must be banished from the dwarven capitol for 1 stone day. If found to be stark, the dwarf will be promptly liquidated, but if not, they will be fined 3000 minas and will be charged with payment-free service in the Workforce for 1 stone week. On their seventh offense, the dwarf in question shall be named a Traitor to Urguan and is therefore put under 'Kill on Sight'. Any good citizen of the Grand Kingdom is expected to abide by this law and aid in extinguishing this menace to Dwarven peace. This law would go in the Articles of Urguan under the bill that addresses 'Stark Raving Mad' dwarves. ____________________________________________________________________ Afterword Such an addition to the Articles of Urguan would greatly benefit the Kingdom by allowed dwarven women to go about unmolested and free. The reluctance of dwarven women to live within the Grand Kingdom is due to the immaturity of our fellow citizens. Furthermore, as a side-note, I would like to encourage the readers of this proposal to not indulge into these immature lusts themselves. The Clergy will be picking up the defense of Dwarven Women's Rights more ardently, in order to ensure a balanced population of male and female dwarves as well. May Ogradhad shine his light of wisdom upon you. May Yemekarr give you balance. ~-Kardel Irongut-/~ ********************************************************************************************* 16 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
L0rdLawyer 2272 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Hu-din approves doesn't approve this message. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tirenas 677 Share Posted February 8, 2015 "Ah'll make sure 'ta bring 'et up 'en ah vote at tha' Council. T'is 'es filled wit' great memes." Uldar mentions, scribbling it down. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heff 2460 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Fumble laughs as he enjoys an ale with a generic halfling female Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destroyer_Bravo 1054 Share Posted February 9, 2015 "Ah dunnae stick 'round cause ah'm banned. -Ellsia "on a pilgrimage" Dawnsworn" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
VampsWillDie 76 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Nora, a dwarf notably, limps by, and squints at the lettering. "...Looks loike Oi came back jus' in toime." She chuckles, shaking her head and continuing along. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cpt_Noobman 1954 Share Posted February 9, 2015 +1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarmaDelta 969 Share Posted March 8, 2015 "Cannae stahp meh from 'ittin' et off wiff t'e laddehs. Nae mah faul' t'ey 'ave 'uge arses 'nd thick ahms t'a' can squeeze t'e loife ou'a ove ah 'afling choild. All meh pick up loines ahre simpleh complimen's, 'nd ef t'ey nae loike ehm, t'ey can RKO meh roight t'en 'nd t'eir ef t'ey suh please. T'is documen' es loike takin' weh mah free'oms 'ere." Lilum sighs "Yeh nae seh uruks doin' t'is koindah shite fo' t'eir women. T'ey're perfectleh foine. Even t'e 'aflin's." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThumperJack 927 Share Posted March 8, 2015 "Bu'..ah'm ah natural born flirt! Its in my bloo'!" Demagol sighs, then is smacked over the head. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZBLBAC5 81 Share Posted March 9, 2015 Arlean smirks at this new law proposal, and she says "ahbout fecken' tiome they realize lasses nae loike stark men." She then walks off before she is harassed by yet another stark dwarf. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhewen 361 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Rhewen reads the articles, remembering the last dwarf lass he saw, he then lets out a a slight "Feck..." as he reads "No stark actions around females" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shambleau 24 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Aeda Grandaxe reads, squinting queerly at the parchment. She quickly begins to laugh, hiding her mouth with her fingers in an attempt to contain herself, "Bahahahahaaaa! Tha's funneh." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolf Druid Ouity 1461 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Ouity blinks in surprise as he reads the address in his study- genuinely shocked to learn that Dwarves do not produce asexually. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedstoneGate 0 Share Posted April 18, 2015 A new female dwarf here --Glorine Frostbeard Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
James 425 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Moved to the Archive. It shall be sorted into the appropriate category shortly. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
.thumb.jpeg.7a2a5c6fda5bc3b4e960a8645bb0ab98.jpeg)
.thumb.gif.5a805d258de5309474a27096e6dd35c0.gif)
.thumb.png.4e5370fc69f142d96a905e477cd5dd97.png)
.thumb.gif.f363e1e24ec35c023d600bb13f6d2f03.gif)
.thumb.gif.c4804540109a430a35eb0021ce7df945.gif)
Recommended Posts