Wolf Druid Ouity

I don’t participate in this community anymore and I don’t think it would be fair for my opinion to determine whether or not somebody stays permanently banned from it or not. You weren’t banned for being toxic. This is the first statement of the “why you believe you were punished” section, and this is indicative of why I don’t think they should unban you. The Goatbirds chat wasn’t the problem. The **** talking wasn’t the problem. Being toxic doesn’t get you banned from Lord of the Craft. We didn’t choose to file a report against the other players in Goatbirds for the same reason the police don’t prosecute a majority of the people in a crowd that starts to riot. They arrest ringleaders and instigators. I want to make that very clear – you were viewed at the time as an instigator and the causal factor of their behavior. Nothing in life is certain, but the people I put my faith in (IE the people like Tay and Charlie who understood the magnitude of what was happening and approached me and Jamie but were only some of many who contributed to the report) have demonstrated that in your absence, they are in fact relatively functional and well adjusted. As far as I know, none of them ever came to the attention of the moderators again – even though I even had a few people on my radar who were in the chat you guys made after Goatbirds. We didn’t ban report them because they didn’t display a consistent pattern of abuse. Worse still, the documents that you yourself wrote demonstrated that what you were doing was a component of your wild bid for power on a minecraft roleplay server and that, in fact, your sustained hostility against divergent leaders might be more than a malicious coincidence. Your unironic plan was to stack the Archdruidship with you, your left hand on a second keyboard, and your then-***** Charlie because you don’t have 3 hands to play minecraft. Your worst bullying cases were people who expressed dissenting opinions to yours be it IC or OOC, and ESPECIALLY people who broke off to form their own organizations or circles. It wasn’t about being toxic, it was about using your position within the social hierarchy of the order to bully out people who threatened the cohesion of your power. When you killed off the character Callax, you spent months following trying to figure out how to revive the character because even achieving the druid equivilant of martyrdom wasn’t enough. Even now, with chances bleak that they will even unban you, you pine for this character. The metagaming alone folks, holy moley. It seriously got as petty as asking your friend to nominate you to the most coveted position of the Druidship. Jaeden’s character decided like a year ago to strip Ouity of his Heirophancy. My name doesn’t even appear on a mineman sign in the grove for all the blood sweat and tears I put into that guild. Why aren’t I having an existential crisis? Because I have always understood that: A) The in character actions I take and the material state of that virtual world in no way reflect my actual identity or personhood or in any way validate me and B) Because the effort I put into the Druids wasn’t to gain notoriety or infamy. When I became an archdruid it was always my priority to use my authority to improve the Druidic Order for every druid player, and that’s the attitude I had when I wrote the report against you. The anecdote about being a teacher kind of horrifies me because the evidence wasn’t that you had any issue controlling people who you held social power over. How could the LOTC community trust you not to return to manipulating them once you return to the server after you write an apology like this which is half deflection? You may not feel this way, and you should feel free to defend yourself, but I feel that this post completely sidesteps or at worst misleads the reader about what exactly it is you did or wanted to do. Frankly, I thought after all of this time you could just offer us at least a sincere apology. That even if you did not even consciously understand the pattern of your actions, you would at least give an apology that doesn’t spend half its length drawing the reader’s attention to the other people at fault or the fact that, well, it’s the internet. The bottom line is this: a lot of people trusted you and you owe them a more holistic apology. I don’t hate you Callax. In truth as much as it conflicts me I can’t even really bring myself to dislike you. I couldn’t trust you after this apology though. Not even close. Callax, this server isn’t worth it. I know you’re probably excited for the new map and see it as an opportunity to get back in the game. Don’t. I’m sure I would be sad if Ouity PK’d, I understand why it would be hard. Therapy is heavily stigmatized in the United States but I genuinely feel that if you made this post in good faith it could help you sort out your feelings surrounding this period in your life. I’m sorry things weren’t different.

I- Blessing When a Druid is attuned, he is partially made new. Just as the blade of the scythe is made sharp, or the grime is wiped from the head of a spade, so too are the aberrations of civilization wiped from the soul of the Druid. However, rust still adorns these newly furbished tools. When the Druid steps from the attunement pool, his mind still festers with the refuse of civilization. For a Druid to truly flourish, he must take it upon himself to wipe away all that civilization has left him with, to scour the rust from his own steel and to make himself truly new. In his dedicancy, he is taught the methods by which this might be done, but only through his own action can he truly be a servant of the Aspects. A Druid might “serve” for decades, even centuries without realizing their corruption. It is these that deserve our pity, for they do not understand their sins against the Aspects. II- Piety A Druid’s first and only duty is to the Aspects, for the Aspects are the impetus by which we receive our blessings. It is vital that every Druid understands the relationship between Nature and the Aspects -- important that he understands that there is none, for to speak of one is to speak of the other. The Aspects are the only deities whose existence stems from the mortal realm; for where in the Nether or the Seven Skies does a tree grow, or a bird fly? Here in our realm do the Aspects originate, as herds of deer, packs of wolves, and every blade of grass beneath their feet. Theirs is a greatness beyond the scope of even other divinities, for the vast presence of the Aspects blankets the entire realm of man, beast, and their own great plane of the Eternal Forest. III- Service A true and righteous Druid is measured by his service to nature, for nature is the true identity of the Aspects. To serve nature is to serve the Aspects. To go against one is to go against the other. When a Druid fulfills his obligation to both, he upholds the balance. Meditation, prayer, and academic study of Nature all have their place in a Druid’s life. Indeed, a Druid must understand that which he serves or he will be lead asunder by his own mortal impulses. A Druid must not, however, allow his meditations to detract from his duties to the realm. It is these duties-- maintaining balance and serving the Aspects-- to which every Druid must be put to task. Some generations before have scorned their duties, choosing the safety of tame groves over the wild beyond our gates. It is these Druids who have come closer than any others to reaping the destruction of the Order, these peaceful few who have lead us closer to our end than even the most bloodthirsty of our kind. IV- Intent A Druid is tested in two parts- by his intentions and by his actions. A poor Druid might intend to serve the Aspects or the balance of nature itself, but in his actions compromise one, the other, or both. In contrast, a Druid might attempt the inverse, and where they may intend to cause harm, they instead bring balance. While we often speak of nature and balance interchangeably, here it must be noted that one can be affected negatively by the other. For example, a wild and unwise Druid might think to use his gifts constantly to build up a brave and untamable wild. While this indisputably “helps” nature, it disrupts the balance, for a rampant nature is just as bad as a repressed nature. A garden choked with weeds will not bear good fruit, and it must be remembered that great feats of Druidism bear their own “unnatural” connotations. A Druid must exercise a steady hand in his use of his gifts, and never use them outside a situation in which the Aspects’ will is being done. It is in this way, with careful measure and a clear focus on the Aspects' will that all Druids must exercise the might of Nature. V- Justice Society instills in its young a desire to do good and to battle its inverse, evil. This is the foundation upon which civilization was built millennia ago, and which continues to support every Descendant empire. From the Elves in their tranquil forests, to the Dwarves in their harsh mountains, the battle of good and evil dominates the hearts of man. Even the Aenguls and Daemons on high have followed this tarnished philosophy, to the end of great destruction in our own realm. This, Brothers and Sisters, is the true nature of our struggle as Druids. This foundation is a rotten one -- one where balance cannot truly be achieved. Always, great swings will occur. Evil will rise, wreaking havoc on the world, only to be trumped by good. Populations rise, cities grow, and the festering sprawl of brick and mortar spreads across the land. Good, evil, these are poisonous seeds that the Descendants reap to their destruction. It is this struggle of good and evil, not magic, that lead to the Great War, and thus, to the first Druid. The true Druid, the one who rises above even his own brothers, is the one who discards utterly all Descendant constructs that weigh down his shoulders leaving only, truly, himself. Wolf Druid Ouity Deathsbane Heirophant The Atlas Grove 9th of the First Seed, 1650

Thousands of years ago, a terrible war broke out between the two mighty guilds of mages - one good and one evil - that controlled great empires. Mages on both sides vowed to fight until they were utterly triumphant, seeking to purge their rivals from the earth. With fearsome magic and dragon armies they battled for centuries, neither side winning a final victory. In the process of their warfare, the magess wrought vast devastation on the world. Forests caught fire and blazed til gone, islands sank into the sea, and entire races became extinct. Eventually, the great Goddess of Nature awakened from her sleep to witness the savage conflict. Shocked by the destruction, the Goddess sent a vision to a single human; the woman who would become the first Grand Druid. Through the vision, this chosen figure saw that she must found a body of Druids to preserve the fragile remains of her world's ecology. With the guidance of her Goddess, the order grew in strength until it finally had the power to intervene in the mages' war. The force of young Druids pooled their powers and together vanquished the members of both battling guilds, transforming the combatants into innocent wild beasts. Once the former mages - now unable to fathom the concept of good versus evil - slithered, bounded, loped, and crawled off into their ruined habitats, the order began to heal the world. Since then, the Druids continually work to prevent such destruction from ever occurring again. Druids pledge to make sure the wards of good and evil no longer mar the precious earth. But, they also have bitter enemies in the ancient remnants of the guilds of warring mages; those good and evil mages who luckily escaped the fate of their fellows. Each guild claims it had been on the verge of victory and would have won, had Druids not interfered. As recounted by Hierophant Pulver, Master of Dungeons.

Neo-Druidism This tome was originally created by Petyr Brandybuck. With some modern druidic practices wandering astray, it has been necessary for me to scribe another text - that of Neo-Druidism. Throughout my travels and my meditative studies, I have had revelations unknown to others. It is important to understand that there is a special type of balance that druids themselves remember to study - action and non-action. Let me clarify. Action is motion, the motion of restoring balance, and of being the hand of Nature. Non-action is meditation and silence; invisible motion. You see, this is the only Way to truly understand Nature, the Universe, the "It". For, through non-action you may feel "It", and through action you may be "It". Call this "It" what you want; most druids will call it Nature. What is important is to understand what Nature truly is, and how it relates to you. To reveal this is the goal of this tome. Section 1 - The Unity of Nature *** The first fault in thinking is to make distinctions - those between you and Nature, between life and death, between good and evil. Everything is Nature, despite what any given piece believes. A druid does not use nature: a druid is merely a piece who realizes the profound truth. Through non-action, one may truly understand this concept and feel it course through them. However, while meditating in non-action, one also separates themselves from the flow; the Way, the path that Nature chooses for its pieces. To rejoin with Nature, one must practice action. *** Section 2 - The Way of Nature *** Nature does what it will, and while we realize this while meditating, sometimes we forget in action. We are merely moving along the river of life, the tides of balance. While we believe that we are restoring the balance, it is balance restoring itself in an everlasting self-conflict. Thus, through action, we are the hands of Nature, of balance, of the Way. One must not think of "using" Nature while playing their part, but of "being" Nature. This is a common mistake as well among young druids and non-druids. They think to restore the world by planting lots of trees... but that is not balance, nor is it even the way to achieve balance. Action alone is not the Way, for one forgets the purpose of action. Only with the mix of action and non-action can one achieve the goal: to have your cake and eat it, too. Section 3 - The Druid *** So as we can now see, the Druid is simply the most important hand, the piece Nature uses to govern itself. To truly try to understand is a task that lies within meditation and non-action. However, there is a limit to the mental reach of the pieces, for as no one truly knows all of themselves, Nature does not know all of itself. This is a fairly important observation: that even though Nature is unified, the unification is marked by threadlines of dubiousness and doubt. The Neo-Druid should not fret, however. There are uneven surfaces in every river. No tree has identical leaves. Just so, nothing, no "It", can be the symmetrical perfection one would like to see. Randomness and uniqueness are inherent in Nature, as defining as the unity itself. Paradoxical though it may seem, through balance of action and non-action, it shall be revealed to you, and only then will you understand the phrase.... "All is One"

Yes.

I- Power The soul attracts that which it secretly harbors - that which it loves, and also that which it fears. Thus, circumstances do not make the Druid; they only reveal him to himself. It means that blessedness, and not wealth, is the measure of right thought; misery, not poverty or lack of family is the measure of wrong thought. A Druid will find that as he alters his thoughts towards Nature and the Aspects, Nature and Aspects will alter towards him. For you will always draw near toward that which you, secretly, most love. The Races surge with uncontrolled passion, are tumultuous with ungoverned grief, and are blown about by anxiety, doubt, and the wars and wills of Aenguls and Daemons. Only the wise Druid, only he whose thoughts are controlled and purified, can make the winds and storms of the soul, and indeed the world, obey him. The greatest achievement was at first, and for a time only a dream. Just as the oak sleeps in the acorn, and the bird waits in the egg, so dreams are the seedlings of realities. Beware therefore of what you dream of. For some dreams are given by the Aspects to inspire us by what may yet be. Others are planted within us by others, foul seeds that we harvest to our destruction. II- Pride There is but one way to truly gain mastery over nature, and that is to realize you cannot truly master it at all. It masters you. When one attempts to force it, compel it, command it, or otherwise exercise dominion over it-the power flees like a timid bird. This is because the Aspects know our innermost thoughts. They know how we intend to use Nature’s Gift. Man may deceive other men. But one simply does not deceive the Aspects. If their will is sought, they will come. If we emulate the principles by which they thrive, they flourish in us. Pride is poison to them. In reality, there is perhaps not one of our natural passions so hard to subdue as our pride. Disguise it, struggle with it, beat it down, stifle it, mortify it as much as you please. It is still alive, and will every now and then peep out and show itself. You will see it perhaps, even with in the most sacred grottos of the realm. For even if I, the Arch Druid, could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I should probably be proud of my humility. A desire to be observed, considered, esteemed, praised, beloved, and admired by his fellows is one of the earliest, as well as the keenest dispositions discovered in the hearts of the Races. My advice to new Dedicants is to squelch it all their days, for those desires lead to ruin. III- Doubt Many Dedicants arrive at the Groves with passion already instilled in them. They yearn to learn, they carry drive, and zest, and youth, and curiosity. When they enter our great tree, they have nothing, and leave with everything. However, a few lose what they have. The rigorous trials of Dedicancy begin to take their toll on them, or they submit their thoughts to the subtle poison of doubt. No lesson, meditation, or intervention can cure it, for these students do harm to themselves. The mind, like the body, can be moved from sunshine into shade. They submit themselves to the slews of myriad ways of Aenguls, Daemons, and the trickery of man, and they yield before this great power to sway one’s faith in the Aspects’ might. For those of you who would stay and train inasmuch as you strip yourself from jealousies and fears, and humble yourself before the Aspects, for you are not sufficiently humble, the veil over your eyes shall be torn and you will see. See all their glory and power, and know you are beloved. A servant of the earth, and wild. Having received the blessing of their attunement, a Druid should mentally mark out a straight pathway to service, looking neither to the right nor left. Doubts and fears should be zealously starved. They are disintegrating elements which break up the straight path, rendering it crooked, ineffectual, and useless. Thoughts of doubt and fear can never accomplish anything. They always lead to failure. Purpose, energy, power to do, and all strong thoughts cease whenever doubt and fear creep in. The will to do springs from the knowledge that we can do. He who has conquered doubt and fear has conquered failure in all his endeavors, both as a Druid, and a person. IV- Blight In every era there comes a moment when the collective thoughts, whims, and motivations of arcane delvers and scheming politicians become so self-absorbed, so malignant, so unheeding that nature itself revolts. Man scars the land such that it finals rebels against him. As thoughts can spread despair and death like seedlings of weeds strewn by the wind, so they must eventually draw the Druids to pluck them out. The vetches must be pulled, roots and all. When this happens, the Aspects cease to bless, and instead they curse. Instead of healing, they spew poison. It happens so swiftly and terribly. The ancients of the Wayward’s time gave it a name, this culling process that blackens the world. They named it after a wasting disease that occurs in once-healthy groves of trees. They called it the Blight, and the first of these, the Great War. I put this quill to paper here now so that others do not make the mistakes I did in my youth. Blinded by war and hate, my transgressions were many, and hard to earn penance for. Though I served the Aspects diligently for many lifetimes, I fear that in my heart, I have failed them. May the Aspects look kindly on me in the afterlife- Xal ussta stath xunde mir dosst elamshinae. -Wolf Druid Ouity Retired Arch Druid of the Order Elandriel Grove