Obligatory Meme Post

[DrakeHaze. 2524]

With the current update I was happy at first. So many new things, most of which just to 'balance' out pvp, implement a few things to 'balance' the professions and give us more grinding to look forward to and more items to dump. I was content with it, got some alchemy shears, enchanted it with fortune 2 and unbreaking 2 then went to work! Got 2 herbs, boy was I happy.



Looked around through my chests, old damaged loot from past battles from glorious victories, tossed them in a furnace to make a couple ingots so I could buy another pair of shears. Damn, everything was working out great. I had friends. Many friends, and they all had different professions so it was really happy. We worked together to conquer the new update, crafted a 58% Daemonic Steel Sword, made a Thornbark Bow and chopped a tree with a diamond axe, huzzah! Then my turn came. I quickly got my empty bottles of drugs, dunked them in my water basin and put them on the alchemy rack.



I rubbed my hands together and grabbed my 2 new herbs that I gathered that entire day and a netherwart. I rubbed my hands together, tossed in the netherwart to prepare the base for my almighty potion. My angelic alchemical finger tips gently stroked the bottles to comfort them as the base brewed. With the flick of my wrist I retrieved the bottles! Alas, to my dismay they all failed. No matter, the Orcish Spirits whispered into my eardrum and mentioned that 3 was too many for my tender hands. So, like the man I was I took a big bottle with both hands and slammed it onto the rack. Filled it with water and dropped more warts into it. I smelled my 2 new herbs, wafting in their scent which was not in their description. Finally, my base was complete. Taking it out of the rack I received another failed potion. Haha, I thought. Surely they jest. I tried three more times before the base was finally ready, I laughed. I continued to make more just in case and finally I had aquired 5 aqua vitae after using 15 nether warts.

I placed a single base into the rack, and gently inhaled the angelic fumes as my angelic alchemist finger tips carressed the bottle neck, dropping the herb into the bottle. I waited, and waited. Oh yes I did wait. I finally did it, I acquired another ruined potion. I took the ruined potion, slammed it on the table and ate the glass shards. Boy was my tummy upset, I repeatedly hit my head with the broken bottle. The fumes had gotten to me, surely they jest. One more attempt I said, just one more. Mother can't blame me if I try once more. And so I did. With my final herb and slammed it viciously down the bottle neck, I turned the heat up with my angelic easy bake oven. Yet, failure was all this angel could mange. I could not let them know, I cannot let them see. I ate the entire failed potion, jamming the glass shards down the corridor that was my throat. With a few buckets of lava hung up to dry in my living room and filled my house with it. My room was warm, filled with successful lava placement. I took my angelic alchemist hands and ripped out the wings of an angel, stuck them on my head and flew off to question the skygods.

 

If you can't tell by the post it is a true story. Sorry mom, I can't play this any longer

[Travista 1361]

rank deme

[Wolf Druid Ouity 1461]

Why didn't I let you on the ET?

 

This is one of the most amazing stories I've ever read.

[tilly 5115]

is it true you work at lush

[ryno2 1285]

the face is perfect

[luv 3469]

This.

[Man of Respect 5471]

Eath'Lur snorts a line of broken glass shards coated in nether lava.

[1 1393]

It makes me cry.

[Your Favorite Impure 736]

Moved to the Archive. It shall be sorted into the appropriate category shortly.