Calabreeni put away the noose

[colovian fur 8360]

 

"Ey, never noticed these before."

    The words fell from the large Illatian's lips as he stared upon the various murals dotted around the Court of the Imperial Palace. He eyed each one with his narrowed slits; they were mere blurs to him but nevertheless, the colors spoke to him. The deep reds, the yellows, the oranges, they all reminded him of pasta, pizza, and paizons. A moment of bliss for Joseppi Calabreeni. Why was he here, in the Imperial Palace, staring at murals?

 

    He meant to talk to the "Big Boss", John Owyn. He wanted to ask a mere question,  but it was interrupted when the Crown Prince and Big Boss had beef. They argued, with John Owyn taunting his son. Joseppi liked a good beat down, but he hadn't eaten lunch yet. So, his mind wandered. When you hungry, your mind tries to outrun it. That's what Mama Calabreeni taught him anyhow.

 

    Suddenly, the thoughts of food was replaced with a broken back. The Prince's javelin stabbed Joseppi quick and easy, like butter. The Street Illatian never wore armor, he just put on the uniform with light cloth pads. He always said, "I'm too beefy for armor, can't move in the ****." Like a spruce tree, he was chopped down. Those watching screamed, yelled out in anger; most being acquaintances of the Calabreeni Bull. He feel onto his stomach, the spear sticking out of his back.

"Mama mia..." 

    "My BANZEET, I got fuckin' got today, boys. Can't believe it, us paizons, always the **** end of the stick. One fugazi after another, thats all they send after me. From my bandaloons to my scarps, I only wanted to serve my fuckin' Boss. BOSS. The gagootz, they got me, gabeesh? They got Joseppi. I only wanted to do whats good for you, Boss. Even after the Mining Op gone wrong in Vailor, you freed me. You were there for me, Boss Leo. I loved you. I loved all you Sappers, if I could stand, I'd hug every one of you subnormals right here and now."

 

    Heavy amounts of blood would spill from the Illatian as he spoke, or at least thought he spoke. Most of that didn't come out, only select words like... "Boss" and "Gagootz."

 

"I see him, Papa Calabreeni, Mama Calabreeni. They call for me, dinners ready, la vi a belle.. A familia-.. Aaah... Eeeh.. Calabreeni morti."

On the 13th of the Amber Cold, Joseppi Calabreeni had died.

 

A note would be found in his pocket, a poem to Ser Leopold and Ser Rakim. It was most likely plagiarized, but Joseppi meant it from his big, greasy, heart. Above it as a note, then the poem.

 

"Thanks for bustin my out of that Mining Op gone wrong back in Vailor, Boss. I owe ya one, I was almost banished for life, just cause I used illegal Dwarf Vision Potions."

 

Spoiler

 

On top of spaghetti,

All covered with cheese.

I lost my poor meatcube,

When Boss Leopold sneezed.

 

It rolled off the table,

And on to the floor,

And then my poor meatcube,

Rolled out of the door.

 

It rolled in the garden,

And under a bush,

And then my poor meatcube

Was nothing but mush.

 

The mush was as tasty

As tasty could be,

And then the next Sun's Smile,

It grew into a tree.

 

The tree was all covered,

All covered with moss,

And on it grew meatcube,

And tomato sauce.

 

So if you eat spaghetti,

All covered with cheese,

Hold on to your meatcube,

Whenever Leo and Rakim sneeze.

 

[TinyBiceps 569]

Jester curses, wondering who he's supposed to give these damn beetroots to now.

[Reckless Banzai Screamer 15456]

Ser Rakim reads the poem to himself in his dimly lit hovel in Senntisten. His things were already packed into crates, awaiting to be brought west.

 

"On top of spaghettii..." He begins shakingly, his voice cracking as he stiffled his sob. "All covered with cheese...I lost my poor meatcuuuuuuuube."

 

Rakim breaks down, crying to himself throughout that lonely night. No amount of degeneracy killing, money or prayers would bring back one of his best buddies.

[KBR 2046]

Li-Shen sobs at the death of his newfound friend.

[Shalashask 1112]

Elrach had known Joseppi a short while, but felt as if a large part of him had been taken. Wiping tears from his face he stood, drawing his blade.

"For Joseppi."

[FORƎST 1312]

Blessed George's heavenly brow peeks through the clouds to witness this most heinous event. He quite literally chimps out, cursing the vile name John Augustus and forever condemning his line.

 

[erikur 91]

Adolf mourns for the legendary hero.

[Taketheshot 3834]

Ser Walter sheds a single tear as he looks out of the cathedral balcony to the thousands of citizens who file past joseppis body as they pay their respects to the legend.

[Papa Liam 960]

Bell remains sitting in his office, holding his forehead as news of the tragic fatality had reached him. He'd slide his paperwork to the side, tears instantly fogging up his spectacles, resting his elbows on the desk. The rain continued to splatter against the windows by his office, before muttering between sobs. "Joseppi," he'd begin, speaking only to himself in the vacant office, "Though we had numerous political disagreements, and we even engaged in brutal, barbaric brawls, you were a loyal, model Orenian citizen. A true hero to the people of Felsen, Johannesburg, and an inspiration to citizens everywhere," the lawyer continued, loose tears still dribbling from his eyelids. He'd speak over his own sobbing, barely forming coherent sentences, "You put your faith before the law, striking down those for moral, altruistic reasons; Not motives bred by corruption, or political gain. The absolute masterpiece of the Creator himself, we will mourn, but you will not be forgotten," he'd conclude.

 

"For legends, they never die."

[Thatpyrodude 2008]

Bradshaw had not cried in years, but today he cried

[Heff 2460]

by god! says francis big franky mortachelli

[neopsychedelia 207]

"Who put this here" wondered fifflas out loud as she turned out her pockets full of rotten meat

[lawnmowerman 3040]

Vitallius frowns and cries.

 

Philip sends his regards to the Calabreeni family.

[GDPR 014 48]

Avenel cries out in his manor, looking to Chef Flomp who came by the elf's side in worry.